@phogstenjr This sounds like my absolute nightmare. If my husband tried to pull something like this with either of our mothers, I would just choose to spend the day entirely alone.
New dads, don’t forget to celebrate your wives tomorrow
- Thread starter sherryfl
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phogstenjr
New member
@tasm2kx I guess I just like my family and like spending time with them.
Also, I think it’s sad that people are waiting for Mother’s Day to be appreciated. They are telling their husband how they want to be celebrated, they want to sleep in, or spend time alone. You shouldn’t have to wait until Mother’s Day to get these things, if your husband is an equal partner he should be doing all of these things to help you throughout the year too.
Also, I think it’s sad that people are waiting for Mother’s Day to be appreciated. They are telling their husband how they want to be celebrated, they want to sleep in, or spend time alone. You shouldn’t have to wait until Mother’s Day to get these things, if your husband is an equal partner he should be doing all of these things to help you throughout the year too.
@phogstenjr That's great that you have that kind of relationship! Unfortunately, a lot of women don't. A lot of women also deal with being secondary to their MILs, too, which is why such an event would be so undesirable. It feeds directly into your second point.
The only reason my husband and I are choosing to celebrate mother's (and father's) day is because we also celebrate each other on non-calendar holidays. Showing appreciation should be year round, but lets remember that the bar is in hell for a lot of cis-het relationships.
The only reason my husband and I are choosing to celebrate mother's (and father's) day is because we also celebrate each other on non-calendar holidays. Showing appreciation should be year round, but lets remember that the bar is in hell for a lot of cis-het relationships.
rejisamuel
New member
@phogstenjr It’s nice that you like these things. It’s nice that other moms like different things. It’s nice that you like your family. It’s nice that some women want boundaries with their families of origin. You don’t have to do what other women do, and we can all respect each other for different wants, desires, needs without shaming anyone for it.
@phogstenjr That's so lovely that your family is able to gather together! I think this would've been nice for my first Mother's Day but schedules are so tough for my side of the family
I'm glad I'm able to spend the day the way I want to with the people I want - hiking and enjoying a takeout meal at home with my little one, my husband, my mom and my sister
What I definitely did NOT want was to be exhausted driving all over the place on the same day - first to celebrate me and my mom, and then have to cut that short so I can go and celebrate my MIL, who's 1.5hr away. Thankfully, my husband stood firm on this and we'll celebrate my MIL the following weekend
I'm glad I'm able to spend the day the way I want to with the people I want - hiking and enjoying a takeout meal at home with my little one, my husband, my mom and my sister
What I definitely did NOT want was to be exhausted driving all over the place on the same day - first to celebrate me and my mom, and then have to cut that short so I can go and celebrate my MIL, who's 1.5hr away. Thankfully, my husband stood firm on this and we'll celebrate my MIL the following weekend
phogstenjr
New member
@ezeric We are lucky both our families only live 10 minutes away, so there is barely any travel involved.
My husband’s side also rarely celebrates Mother’s Day on the day, my MIL’s birthday is the 17th so we usually do a late Mother’s Day/birthday for her which is planned for next weekend too, so it’s just my side on the day of.
My husband is also working today so I would have been alone with baby all day and I’m excited for some adult conversations.
I would love to go for a walk or get outdoors today, maybe take LO to the park after brunch, but it doesn’t look like it’s going to be a nice day weather wise for that today.
My husband’s side also rarely celebrates Mother’s Day on the day, my MIL’s birthday is the 17th so we usually do a late Mother’s Day/birthday for her which is planned for next weekend too, so it’s just my side on the day of.
My husband is also working today so I would have been alone with baby all day and I’m excited for some adult conversations.
I would love to go for a walk or get outdoors today, maybe take LO to the park after brunch, but it doesn’t look like it’s going to be a nice day weather wise for that today.
pravoslavie
New member
@foreverblessedsh So we’re gate keeping Mother’s Day now?
@sherryfl Husband hadn’t brought up the plans for Mother’s Day so I ask. He listed off normal day things. Then after my not so great, “okay..” he said, “Oh, it’s Mother’s Day. Did you want to plan something with your mom?”
I was more than confused, and explained he should have planned something with me. His thought process was, “That’s a thing? But you’re not my mom. If it matters to you we can do something.”
To be fair, he grew up in a divorced household his whole life with parents that hated each other. So I could see how this might not have been modeled.
But I made it clear, it did not just “matter to me.”
That was yesterday, today is the whole, yeah I’ll take the baby to buy you something last minute.
this is a bit of a bummer
I was more than confused, and explained he should have planned something with me. His thought process was, “That’s a thing? But you’re not my mom. If it matters to you we can do something.”
To be fair, he grew up in a divorced household his whole life with parents that hated each other. So I could see how this might not have been modeled.
But I made it clear, it did not just “matter to me.”
That was yesterday, today is the whole, yeah I’ll take the baby to buy you something last minute.
this is a bit of a bummerucfknight04
New member
@ucfknight04 Schedule a mothers day redo date?