My intuition told me a man was a pervert. He was sentenced to 10 years for child porn

[carolyng]

I knew a man from our church & social circle. He was treated normally and was not an outcast type. We live in a relatively small town that is geographically isolated, so you run into acquaintances a lot.

This part occurred about 4 years ago. We are at the pool and run into each other. I say hello, blah, blah, blah. I change my son, age 4-5, in the pool locker room. Of course he is naked. This man leers at my naked son from 10’ away. I knew. I f$caking knew. Get my son dressed & out of there as fast as possible. I go home and tell my wife, “Our children can’t be near him. Stay away.” He was good friends with another couple that had very young children (about 4 & 6) at the time. I call the Mom and say “Don’t let your children around him”. She laughs me off and says “He is harmless.”

Yesterday I open the paper. Page 2 is the guys picture. “Sentenced to 10 years for child pornography.”

What did I learn?
The guy is 61 and single. Yet he was always volunteering at church for kid stuff, and I’m talking young kids like pre-k.

I talked to friends and learned he spent a lot of time at the pool. Know we know why.
He worked at a pre school. He taught skiing to kids 4-6. He did everything he could to be around kids.

Trust your gut. Next time I’m calling the cops and telling everyone I know. My friends didn’t see the signs I saw, and i was left thinking it was me. It doesn’t matter what someone else thinks about the person.

Edit to add the sentencing story: https://www.jhnewsandguide.com/news...cle_d0ed91f6-51ae-11ee-b841-3fd46c136810.html

 

[heyheyheynoname]

@carolyng People need to do what is necessary to keep their kids safe. I’m glad you kept your son away from him.

But goodness do I hate that any man who volunteers to be around kids is automatically looked at suspiciously. As dads we should be fighting against that stereotype. I like kids. My job would likely allow me to retire relatively early. I’ve always thought coaching or volunteering with kids would be a good way to give back, but honestly I think too many people would assume there’s something wrong with me. It’s really sad.

 

[tommyb1]

@heyheyheynoname As a teacher, it’s tough. Children are a vulnerable population and those that prey on the vulnerable will find legitimate and seemingly altruistic ways to be close to the vulnerable. There’s no test where we can vet out predators in one fell swoop so it takes vigilance that never lets up to weed these people out. Unfortunately it doesn’t always work and too often we find out who the predators are after it’s too late.

This goes for so much. Child predators often will volunteer to work with kids or try to go into teaching, but both of those roles are necessary for our society and the vast majority of those in those fields are not predators. People who have a predilection for violence or are unstable in that way, or carry disdain for already marginalized communities like to join the police force where they can act out in violence with limited recourse, but law enforcement is a necessary thing and the vast majority of cops are just doing their job.

 

[bnt2000]

@heyheyheynoname Its the fact that everything this man did revolved around being around little kids. Not cause he had a couple of things with kids. Also the leering was the real reason those things became a red flag

 

[carolyng]

@heyheyheynoname Great point, and I am one of those volunteers. Data I left out, he had NO friends his demographic. Every time I saw him was around children and his friends were all young families.

Unfortunately sometimes stereotypes are true though.

 

[jcgroupie]

@carolyng They are a stereotype for a reason - sadly...