My bf broke my heart last night… gutted this NYE

[jezza]

We have fights tomorrow, the first, to Puerto Rico. My dad is expecting us and was going to help with the baby. This trip was to celebrate our hard first year as parents. All due to his issues. I’ve been the rock this year. And our baby turning one in Jan.

Last night, the last of the family visits from the holidays concluded. We put our beautiful 11 mo baby to sleep. Then we start to relax and he dropped the bomb. He doesn’t want to go. He wants to use the time as a break. Every other question he had no good answers. He’s just deeply unhappy.

I’ve been crying all day. I look at the pile of luggage. How am I suppose to move that? I’m going to deal with the fussy baby on my own in the airplane. This entire trip was planned around it being his first time there.

I feel betrayed. Broken. Disregarded. Disrespected. I can’t see how we come back after this. I’m exhausted supporting him emotionally. I assume this is his first steps toward breaking up.

Here’s to ringing in the new year. Crying in our bed. Waiting to go on a trip alone with my baby.

I’m just so sad! wtf

Edit: hey my period just started when i woke up to get ready for our 6 am flight.

UPDATE: https://www.reddit.com/r/beyondthebump/s/qCVQHT6Sva

 

[energy_solutions]

@jezza Yes, I agree with Numinous-Nebulae, go on the trip to see your family. When your heart is low, go be with the people who fill it back up. If that’s your family, then go to them. From this point forward, surround yourself with friends and family who bring you joy. You must do this for your child and for you.

 

[neostarwcc]

@jezza I’m so sorry mama.

Wear that baby in a carrier. Get one of those big steel luggage carts at the airport. Check everything you can - just carry on baby in the carrier and a diaper bag. Hopefully BF will drop you off there, and maybe even get your bags checked? If not, then an Uber. Get to your dad and your family and they will take care of you and love on you. It’ll be a tough travel day but you can do it!! I flew alone with my infant daughter a few times in the first year. Let’s be honest, baby wants mama on the flights anyway

You seem like such a strong, steady and composed person. You’re going to figure everything out and it will be ok in the long run. Your baby is so lucky to have you as their mom.

 

[courageouslycalled]

@neostarwcc There is no better answer than this one. You got this, even though it’s hard. Go be with family xxx

 

[betron]

@neostarwcc Second this! You’re going to get through it and you’re going to be ok. It’ll be a tough day but you’re proving to yourself and your little one that you are a bad ass that can do hard things, even when you shouldn’t have to do them!!!! I know it’s hard to see right now, but I believe that doing this will be so empowering to your soul. And something to consider is that you also deserve someone to lean on too, especially with all of the changes you underwent by bringing a life into this world. If your partner can’t be leaned on, there are lots of other people in the world who would gladly share life’s burdens with you. Get what you deserve!

 

[mamba]

@neostarwcc Yep, you got this sister, I’m so sorry. This is going to be scary, but you will be ok! A lot of women will help you, and you are strong. Lean on your family to help you navigate this new heartbreaking journey.

 

[vinothdlk2]

@neostarwcc Completely agree! OP. You are so much more capable than you realize. My bf left town for a week for a business trip and I was left alone with my 1.5 and 4 month old. I was so anxious doing it on my own but I did and felt my confidence as a mother “level up”

 

[philmak]

@vinothdlk2 Any tips?? Lol

 

[mairan]

@neostarwcc I flew by myself with my then 12 month old and it went so much better than I could’ve imagined. OP, you got this!

 

[carawe]

@mairan I feel like it’s a mental thing. I would have to tell myself, it’s just like a car ride. It’s not as scary.

 

[heathpanganiban]

@mairan Me too. I flew solo with my 3 month old and 4 year old. So many people volunteered to help. You’ve got this. The best tip I have is to have your baby drink something at take off and landing. It’ll help relieve the pressure on their ears.

 

[mairan]

@heathpanganiban It truly restored my faith in humanity how kind and helpful people were! I was ready to tell off anyone who gave me a hard time, but people were unbelievably nice to us

 

[robin8898]

@neostarwcc Also I know there are a lot of horror stories about flights with babies but I’m shocked at how kind people are! So many people have travelled with a young baby and know what it’s like.

 

[qpmomma13]

@neostarwcc Great answer.

 

[kingdomkings]

@neostarwcc Yes.

Go anyway. Ask for help.

Have him move out while you are gone.
Does baby have your surname, or did you make the common mistake of giving baby your boyfriend’s name?

 

[victoriablackwell]

@jezza Well that’s pretty lame of him. Waiting until the day before a flight to say he won’t go? Especially since it leaves you flying solo with a baby?? Very inconsiderate and disrespectful.

That said- I’ve done solo flights with babies, it’s fine. I also have family in the Caribbean and it’s an easy trip, especially if you can fly direct. Both my boys have found flights very interesting as wee ones. Check as much as you can, and pack lots of snacks/toys/spare clothes for the plane.

This can still be a celebration. YOU, mama, YOU have survived baby’s first year. That’s HUGE. And you get to enjoy time with family, maybe get a break if they’ll watch her. So—you wanted to show BF around… now, you get to do whatever the heck you wanna do. Spend every day at the beach? Wander San Juan with no agenda? Read during baby’s nap? You call the shots!

 

[carawe]

@victoriablackwell Yes. It will be much more relaxing than you think without him.

 

[slamoutte]

@victoriablackwell This

 

[boo89]

@jezza Get on the plane with the bare minimum you and your baby need that you're not sure you can buy. A couple outfits, a handful of diapers, formula if needed, a couple outfits for you. You can buy sunscreen. You can buy extra diapers. You can buy fruit and snacks.

Go and have a nice vacation. Enjoy your baby and your family. Ask for help from the flight attendants if you need it. It will be worth the time away.

 

[emwu]

@boo89 Agree with this, except always pack enough diapers, outfits, wipes and snacks for delays, cancellations and reroutings! And pack them in carry on!