My bf broke my heart last night… gutted this NYE

[jezza]

@jquill89 I defined the rules bc of course he didn’t. I asked for low contact. I asked if he was going to see other people, he said no. Then he said he’d use the time to go camping or go see his cousin down at a US beach town. Must be nice to vacation by yourself.

 

[silentzhq]

@jezza Oh so he does want to go on a vacation! Just not with his wife and son. Really, how hurtful can you be, what else do you need to know

 

[jezza]

@jquill89 at that point, I decided to not mention that he needed to make a choice by the time I got back. It was clear his choice was made already. He’s just a coward and is going about it this way

 

[lala2014]

@jezza Is it possible he has PPD? Men can get it too and it mostly appears later for them. I’m not sure if this seems like normal behavior for him and he’s always been like this but if he hasn’t maybe he’s really struggling with his mental health.

I hope you are able to go on this trip and feel supported by your family and come back to a partner who maybe has had the break they thought they needed to show up for you better.

 

[robertven]

@lala2014 Good lord I’m glad to see one other person here considering that this man may have some serious mental health issues.

People acting like parents can’t ever have a break or have health concerns that they can’t be there for their family.

Is it shit to spring it on op? Yeah. But…. Mental health. It can really fuck with someone.

OP I hope he can get the help he needs and if he can’t and you can’t be in this relationship because he is going through whatever he is going through that’s okay and you should step away if you’re unable to provide the support he may need at this time. And if he was always a shitty partner, you need to decide if this is a relationship you can continue.

 

[jezza]

@lala2014 He’s depressed. Been battling it since baby is 1 month old. Had 3 mental breakdowns this year, doesn’t know what happiness really means etc. He started therapy when all this started last year. Can’t say it’s helped much. He really needs anti depressants. He can’t be convinced tho

 

[lala2014]

@jezza Well therapy is a very good first step. Wishing you both some healing in the new year

 

[higginssamuel]

@jezza Can you and baby go to Puerto Rico and just stay there? If that’s where your family and support system are, that would make sense.

Screw ex-bf.

 

[chrismissionarytrue]

@higginssamuel Don’t do this - this could hurt her in a custody case!

 

[higginssamuel]

@chrismissionarytrue He breaks up with her the night before she and the baby are scheduled to leave, and she leaves with his blessing. She doesn’t have a home to return to. You think a judge is going to blame her for not coming back? For what, to sleep in her car?

OP - pack all your most important documents and valuables such as jewelry when you go. Anything you can’t live without.

 

[b1gb055]

@higginssamuel BF didn't break up with her, just refuses to go to Puerto Rico

 

[higginssamuel]

@b1gb055 “He doesn’t want to go. He wants to use the time as a break. Every other question he had no good answers. He’s just deeply unhappy.”

That is a breakup. A “I might change my mind after I see whether I can get any tail somewhere else” breakup, but a breakup regardless.

 

[higginssamuel]

@b1gb055 Read it again. He dumped her.

 

[b1gb055]

@higginssamuel I did read it again. Still doesn't say he broke up with her

 

[sandra]

@b1gb055 His break will consist of trying to find someone else to make him “happy” if he’s successful - they will break up. Such an abrupt decision - only means bad intentions

 

[higginssamuel]

@b1gb055 It says he “wants to use the time as a break.”

That’s a break up with strings attached, but it’s still a break up. Op calls it out in the post too. She sees it. I don’t know why you don’t.

 

[higginssamuel]

@chrismissionarytrue I doubt it. But don’t seek legal advice on Reddit.

 

[soyunagile7980]

@higginssamuel I wouldn’t do this forever, because it’s his child too. But, I’d do this for a little while, with no end date, until he’s told you he’s learned his lesson. Which I know it’s petty AF lol. But canceling such an important commitment last minute deserves it. It’s a lesson he needs to learn. So I’d personally do it

 

[higginssamuel]

@soyunagile7980 He is capable of coming to Puerto Rico to visit.

If he is going to dip out in her, she should be where she has support. Maybe that’s Puerto Rico and maybe it isn’t, but “it’s his baby too” means he needs to man up and act the part.

 

[truthseeker78]

@higginssamuel This. So tired of 'his baby too' being said on behalf of men who are not in any way acting like a parent.