@jezza Girl, this is going to be hard, but you can do it. Carry the baby and wear a small book bag with some diapers and wipes- enough to get there. Throw in an extra change of clothes. Lean on your family and friends, but also don’t under estimate your ability to be strong. I’m rooting for you!
@jezza This new year starts with a really important message for you. You’ve invested and did so much! His response: no appreciation whatsoever. He is egotistical and selfish.
Hear the message loud and clear! You’re allowed to go and move on. Invest the energy into yourself and your baby.
It’s better to know where you stand and face the reality. Then you can draw consequences accordingly.
Don’t be afraid to make drastic changes! You only have this one life and you don’t need to stick with something eternally that doesn’t work and doesn’t make you happy. He’s not happy either!
I wish you a happy new year and that you find out the best way for you and your baby.
@jezza Idk you say this is his first step toward breaking up but…
If my SO backed out of a planned trip which included bringing our 11mo baby on a flight in order for them to have “a break” while acknowledging that this means that I get “zero break” at all
That would be MY first step to considering whether this relationship is worth continuing. F if he thinks he needs a break from being a parent; it sounds like I would need a break from relying on him.
Just remember, OP, it’s his baby too. That baby has a right to receive support from BOTH OF YOU for the rest of its life. Whether or not your SO is trying to break off the relationship with you, he can’t just not be a parent to that baby if that’s what he thinks is possible. You can and should drag him to court for all of the supports and care for which your baby is due.
@jezza I’m so sorry that this has happened to you. Absolutely devastating.
I flew twice with my daughter in her first year. Once at 3 months and 9 months. It’s truly amazing how kind people are to mothers travelling alone with their babies. Everyone wanted to help me: strangers, staff. Use a carrier or stroller (gate check your stroller so it’s waiting for you when you land). Check all baby items and extra bags. Bring only your diaper bag on the plane. Do a diaper change right before they start boarding. Don’t stress if anything happens, just let it go and know that you will soon to reunited with the people that love you and want to take care of you and your beautiful baby.
@jezza This is not fair to you. You’ve been the rock, like you’ve said, and you deserve someone who will respect you and reciprocate your efforts like you deserve. I’m sorry.
@jezza Remember to feed baby during take off to make his ears pop when altitude changes. You will be okay, your bf just needs time and space to himself, which is valid. Everyone nerds time to decompress after stress, and it can lead to moments like this. Relax, take it in stride. You got this, mama.
@jezza Is he depressed? If I were you this would be a turning point. Either he gets himself in therapy and/or medication or we would be gone. He gave you a sneak peek into the rest of your life as his wife and mother or his child.
If he’s going to fight for you two it has to happen now. Diet and exercise regimen, therapy appointment on the calendar, psychiatrist appointment being made.
@jezza Don't give up on the trip! Seeing your family after a year that stressful will help you see you have other people that care about you and that there is more to life than him. You will be reminded how much you are loved and cared for by your parents.
@jezza It’ll be hard, but hey, his ticket is paid for and you can use it for your baby. It’ll be a hard travel day, but the extra space will be very convenient.
@jezza You aren't dumb, this is a super hard unexpected situation. I hope you make the trip you most certainly deserve to be around family right now. I wish you all the best with it, you can get through this!
@jezza Hugs! You will be ok. I remember when I traveled by plane with kiddo first time he was a big 2 year old and so much more aware, and I also have some physical challenges. The flight attendants were sooooo helpful and supportive - don't hesitate to ask for help if you need it!
Like the other people on this thread are saying - strap baby to you and go - I saw a lot of mamas with younger children able to manage well with baby that way.
I hope you have a much better 2024 - may this year being you peace and happiness and a year filled with joy with your little one. Focus on your kiddo and enjoy her beautiful presence in your life! That's all that matters.
@jezza You sound like you're doing an amazing job OP. You don't need this anchor dragging you down. Focus on your lovely baby and your own health and happiness. He's not fit to be a partner or a parent. Maybe the time away separated will give him greater perspective on how amazing you're little family is and he can cop on to himself. If not, it's a new year, and a great time to focus on you and your child's bright future ahead.
@jezza I’m so sorry. You’re probably already well on your way, but in case it needs to be said again, go see your family. Let them love on you and your sweet baby. Let them care for you and fill your cup. Try to put your BF out of your mind for the moment (easier said than done!) and use this trip to be kind to yourself and have fun. He will be there when you get back, you can figure out the next steps at that point. Hang in there.
