@coachlittlez23 I feel the exact same way. When I was pregnant I had all of these ideas about how I wasn’t going to be entertaining my baby 24/7 and how kids need to learn how to entertain themselves and not be stimulated all the time. Now that baby is here I struggle so much with this. He’ll be perfectly calm, just staring at something or playing with a toy, and I wonder if he’s feeling bored or abandoned and I have a strong urge to go and engage with him. But I’ve been burning myself out with that attitude. All of my more experienced mom friends have told me not to worry and that their second babies spent a lot of time alone just chilling because they had another kid to care for. It’s really hard!!
How much are you playing with your baby?
- Thread starter coachlittlez23
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@coachlittlez23 i have a 3 month old too and i definitely engage with him during some play time blocks (reading, tummy time, lots of chats) but i also leave him on his piano kick mat for 10 minutes or so while i do the dishes (within view!) or tidy up. i usually try to narrate a bit what i’m doing so he can hear me, but he can do his own thing with the purple monkey for a bit 
sunsetrose
New member
@coachlittlez23 My baby mostly watches me do housework and I chat to her about WHS I’m doing, and her favourite spot is lying staring at the trees moving through our dining room window.
The internet is such a mess sometimes - EVERYTHING is stimulating and a learning experience for a 3 month old.
You DO NOT NEED to be ‘doing something’ with them.
The internet is such a mess sometimes - EVERYTHING is stimulating and a learning experience for a 3 month old.
You DO NOT NEED to be ‘doing something’ with them.
@coachlittlez23 Sometimes my baby just wants me to be near her and not necessarily interacting. Her wake windows are now about 2.5 hours so in the beginning I was running out of ideas of what to do with her, but then I just brought her around with me while I was doing random things. One time I just set her on the bed while I was cleaning out my closet and she was content just watching me as I tried on clothes. I think it‘s important to let them observe the world around and have time independently to play. The first time my LO rolled she was alone on her play mat while I was putting laundry away.
lecsettcalnest1983
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nikkyamani
New member
@coachlittlez23 I have struggled with this question too! My sister had three kids before me, and she warned me early and often not to feel pressure to over-entertain. She did that with her first, and now even at age 7 he has a hard time entertaining himself. That said, it is so hard! My baby is 3mo, and is very content and happy by herself for long periods of time in her kick and play or even just on her blanket in the middle of the living room. I’m the one who is constantly fighting guilt over not engaging with her enough.
Another thing I do that I read is helpful, but that is very hard, is to not jump in right away when she is showing signs of minor frustration. I try to give her 30 seconds to a minute to try to deal with it herself before I intervene. Of course, if she is very upset I jump in right away. It is hard, but I keep telling myself it is for her good in the long run.
Another thing I do that I read is helpful, but that is very hard, is to not jump in right away when she is showing signs of minor frustration. I try to give her 30 seconds to a minute to try to deal with it herself before I intervene. Of course, if she is very upset I jump in right away. It is hard, but I keep telling myself it is for her good in the long run.
@coachlittlez23 My baby is 3.5 months old. I mainly let her do independent play. In her crib, I have the fisher price playmat w/ piano, mobile, star/galaxy projector and baby Einstein fish tank going and she chooses what she wants to do. She plays quietly for a good 30 minutes at a time. The remainder of the wake window we do tummy time and/or just hang out
sunsetscents
New member
@coachlittlez23 Not much. My kids are older now and excellent at playing alone, together, and with me. IMO it’s very unnatural for a baby to be constantly ‘entertained’ by another person. They are wired to observe! Watching you do stuff IS stimulating. Talk a bit out loud/narrate while you do your thing but don’t force it. To be specific I did roughly 15 minute spurts of active engagement throughout the day and it was plenty for me and my babies. Mostly they were on a mat with a few toys in the same room as me so they could see me and practice moving around/using their hands.
@coachlittlez23 Let them play independently as much as possible - give attention when they seek it or just regularly. You do not and should not ever be your child's sole entertainer.
At that age, honestly, my baby mostly just hung out in my arms or did some occasional tummy time.
At that age, honestly, my baby mostly just hung out in my arms or did some occasional tummy time.
@coachlittlez23 Baby also learns a lot from being on their play mat with some toys around them and/or a play gym above them. That’s how they learn to roll!
@coachlittlez23 Someone asked me on WhatsApp what I did with my baby when he was about 3 months old and this was what I said…
Lots of tummy time: have a play mat where I put him down and use different toys for making it interesting like a water pad, rattle ball, cloth books, picture book. Also alternate between fully flat in the mat or using a pillow under his arms.
Read him a book: the important thing here is that he hears your voice, even if he can’t properly see the pictures. Ideally, books with colourful pictures, but it doesn’t have to be a kid book, your voice is what matters.
Sing songs to him: play him kid songs for super fun time or “adult songs” that I can dance to (to him and with him).
Baby exercises and massage: lots of stretching of arms and legs, describing his body parts. Massage his hands and feet, and belly for good development.
Exercises for my self: you can do squats and twists and abs by using baby as a weight and they enjoy the lifting and movement.
I also do short “solo play” time where I put him in the play mat with some of his toys and let him enjoy the time by himself while I’m sitting nearby. This helps them be independent and discover the world on their own.
… all of the above obviously when I’m not cooking or doing laundry or other tasks around the house. During those I’m either baby wearing and talking to him, or he’s sitting in his bouncer watching me, perhaps with some music
Lots of tummy time: have a play mat where I put him down and use different toys for making it interesting like a water pad, rattle ball, cloth books, picture book. Also alternate between fully flat in the mat or using a pillow under his arms.
Read him a book: the important thing here is that he hears your voice, even if he can’t properly see the pictures. Ideally, books with colourful pictures, but it doesn’t have to be a kid book, your voice is what matters.
Sing songs to him: play him kid songs for super fun time or “adult songs” that I can dance to (to him and with him).
Baby exercises and massage: lots of stretching of arms and legs, describing his body parts. Massage his hands and feet, and belly for good development.
Exercises for my self: you can do squats and twists and abs by using baby as a weight and they enjoy the lifting and movement.
I also do short “solo play” time where I put him in the play mat with some of his toys and let him enjoy the time by himself while I’m sitting nearby. This helps them be independent and discover the world on their own.
… all of the above obviously when I’m not cooking or doing laundry or other tasks around the house. During those I’m either baby wearing and talking to him, or he’s sitting in his bouncer watching me, perhaps with some music
@coachlittlez23 Welcome to mom guilt 
haha but seriously you’re doing just fine. I think many of us feel like we’re “not doing enough” and it totally is boring sometimes but you just have to try your best! Eventually they will learn to be a little independent and play on their own but not for awhile yet. Honestly I would say I engage the same amount as you. I still need to get things done at home, and I have a 3 year old on top of my 3 month old, so sometimes he just chills in his bouncer or plays on his play mat. Of course, when he is calm. But like I said before, you’re doing just fine!
haha but seriously you’re doing just fine. I think many of us feel like we’re “not doing enough” and it totally is boring sometimes but you just have to try your best! Eventually they will learn to be a little independent and play on their own but not for awhile yet. Honestly I would say I engage the same amount as you. I still need to get things done at home, and I have a 3 year old on top of my 3 month old, so sometimes he just chills in his bouncer or plays on his play mat. Of course, when he is calm. But like I said before, you’re doing just fine!@coachlittlez23 Get a Fisher Price Kick and Play Piano. In this case, the name brand means something and it is THE ONE you want. The songs actually bop and it grows with them. It is the only way our baby would engage in tummy time without wailing, reaching for the hanging toys was helpful for his development when he reached that stage, and now he just carries around the piano part and bangs on it. They aren’t expensive. Order it and report back.
You’re doing fine. You don’t have to be your baby’s entertainment every moment of every day. At that age, we’d put him on the floor or in a swing and play Hey Bear on YouTube. He liked the music and I didn’t hate it and who hates dancing vegetables?! Baby doesnt have to look at it if you wanna avoid screen time.
You’re doing fine. You don’t have to be your baby’s entertainment every moment of every day. At that age, we’d put him on the floor or in a swing and play Hey Bear on YouTube. He liked the music and I didn’t hate it and who hates dancing vegetables?! Baby doesnt have to look at it if you wanna avoid screen time.
thedancingbaptist
New member
@coachlittlez23 That sounds exhausting. She needs quiet time just like any other human too. It would also give her the opportunity to practice focusing on things - they can stare at things for half an hour straight, if given the chance.
@coachlittlez23 I do 1-2 of those things during wake windows, not all during each. I let her play alone on a play mat in a safe space or put her in a bouncer or swing, or just chill with her on my lap. We go on walks a few times a week, but those make her sleep and so does the baby carrier so those turn into nap time.
antonranil
New member
@coachlittlez23 I only play with her for maybe and 1.5 a day and it's not consecutive. If she's bored, she can either entertain herself or watch me do chores lol.
@coachlittlez23 Oh we do both interactive and independent play with our 10 week old. We’ve been putting her kick n play piano in her pack n play since she was born and she’s come to love just spending time on the mat kicking and playing and talking to herself. That helps us get chores done.
Other times her and I will get on the floor with the mat and I interact and talk with her (she loves to babble during play time).
Sometimes I just set her in her bouncer while I hang out with her. She loves to just look around, the ceiling fan is her current favorite.
Other times her and I will get on the floor with the mat and I interact and talk with her (she loves to babble during play time).
Sometimes I just set her in her bouncer while I hang out with her. She loves to just look around, the ceiling fan is her current favorite.