Why do other people care so much about what I feed my baby?!
- Thread starter lolasode
- Start date
-
- Tags
- formula feeders
@lolasode I have two things to say:
- You still explained that you tried to bf and pump and YOU DONT NEED TO DO THAT, EITHER. It gets easier, I promise, but eventually you can say (if anyone has the audacity to ask) "we're formula feeding" and that's a complete fucking sentence. My wife and I EFF our baby since birth. Full stop. Anyone who inquires further who is not your doctor can get the full Mean Girls, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" Literally every question gets met with a question."Did you try to breastfeed?" "Why do you want to know what I do with my breasts?"
- The "rise" of the Mom-fluencers who are pushing breastfeeding is DIRECTLY correlated to the rise of far-right, conservative ideals attempting to crawl out from the mucky, racist, sexist, 1940s hole they were shoved in over the last 50 years. They want women in the home, a baby attached to each breast, incapable of independence, and perpetually physically/emotionally exhausted into submission. It's not an exaggeration and I wish I were kidding, but the "tradwide" culture is seeping into mainstream through the gate of Mom Guilt. Do not buy into it for one second. It's a complete farce. (The only caveat to that are Boomers who remember the Nestle debacle and think formula is poison but they're mostly misinformed/ignorant rather than malignant.)
katrina2017
New member
katrina2017
New member
@oryareah It’s insane to me how I feel like crunchy mom ideals went from being a more left-leaning trait to being taken over by far-right conservatives loons who are anti-science. At least that’s how I’ve seen it. I had to remove myself completely from TikTok because of these moms. They hate formula feeding but don’t even get me started on daycare. That’s the devil.
@katrina2017 Yup!
They saw an in and they took it. No daycare and full time EBF means women, on average, can’t have any sense of independence til grade school and let’s be real, the next step is “home school.”
They saw an in and they took it. No daycare and full time EBF means women, on average, can’t have any sense of independence til grade school and let’s be real, the next step is “home school.”
parastudent101
New member
@lolasode I have to say, I was VERY nervous about reactions to my decision to EFF my second child from birth (with my first I did a couple months of attempted breastfeeding along with a hellish triple feeding journey), but honestly I've been pleasantly surprised by the lack of really any commentary/reactions to my decision. During my hospital stay I had a lactation specialist come into the room at one point and my heart dropped, and I braced myself for some kind of confrontation, but it turns out she just made a mistake looking at my chart and apologized profusely for the mixup. As soon as I mentioned I was formula feeding she immediately shifted gears and gave me a ton of really nice advice about preventing my milk from coming in/drying up my supply. She was lovely and very supportive. And I've had zero pushback or comments from anyone else (stranger or people I know) since then.
So I don't want to take away from the general vibe in this thread, but I do feel like there are EBF people out there who are genuine allies/respect everyone's choices. Bummer that it's not everyone
So I don't want to take away from the general vibe in this thread, but I do feel like there are EBF people out there who are genuine allies/respect everyone's choices. Bummer that it's not everyone
katrina2017
New member
@lolasode This video is the absolute best thing I’ve ever seen about the formula vs breastfeeding debate. He also links a crap ton of sources in the description.
My honest opinion about the crazy breastfeeding moms? There’s different types: The moms that absolutely hated it but were guilted into doing it and didn’t have the courage to resist. Then they want everyone else to have to suffer like they did. Then there’s the moms who loved it sooo much and think it’s so great that they cannot possibly comprehend why someone wouldn’t. They think their experience is the only experience.
The lactation consultants need to get through some of their thick skulls that no means no. I plan to only pump colostrum and then EFF our baby. If those lactation consultants try any crap with me, or touch me without my consent, I will pitch a huge fit and file a complaint with the hospital. I’m simply not playing around. I’m not going to suffer for so long birthing my child to the point of exhaustion only to have to deal with that bs.
Point blank, no one cares about whether or not your baby is BF or FF. They really don’t. All they care about is making you suffer like they did or forcing their beliefs on you to get validation about their beliefs. It’s a sick dominating control game these people have, and it’s best to either ignore them, and if they won’t leave you alone, make them.
My honest opinion about the crazy breastfeeding moms? There’s different types: The moms that absolutely hated it but were guilted into doing it and didn’t have the courage to resist. Then they want everyone else to have to suffer like they did. Then there’s the moms who loved it sooo much and think it’s so great that they cannot possibly comprehend why someone wouldn’t. They think their experience is the only experience.
The lactation consultants need to get through some of their thick skulls that no means no. I plan to only pump colostrum and then EFF our baby. If those lactation consultants try any crap with me, or touch me without my consent, I will pitch a huge fit and file a complaint with the hospital. I’m simply not playing around. I’m not going to suffer for so long birthing my child to the point of exhaustion only to have to deal with that bs.
Point blank, no one cares about whether or not your baby is BF or FF. They really don’t. All they care about is making you suffer like they did or forcing their beliefs on you to get validation about their beliefs. It’s a sick dominating control game these people have, and it’s best to either ignore them, and if they won’t leave you alone, make them.
@lolasode 100%
I wanted to breastfeed. My baby wouldn't eat at the breast and dropped weight percentiles. I exclusively pumped for 6 months. I weaned from the pump to formula, and my life is 100% better after weaning. Honestly, I wish I had used formula from the beginning. Seriously, pumping was one of the worst experiences of my life.
LCs can sit on a cactus.
I wanted to breastfeed. My baby wouldn't eat at the breast and dropped weight percentiles. I exclusively pumped for 6 months. I weaned from the pump to formula, and my life is 100% better after weaning. Honestly, I wish I had used formula from the beginning. Seriously, pumping was one of the worst experiences of my life.
LCs can sit on a cactus.
johncflores1
New member
holdfast4yourlife
New member
@lolasode People are so stupid and “try to offer advice” because they’re completely brainwashed into thinking formula is bad. I’m combo feeding my daughter pumped breast milk and formula. Like 50-50. It works perfectly for us. When I tell people, they offer unsolicited advice on one or the other, but usually its how to improve bm supply, “ArE yOu LaTcHiNg? (No) WhY nOt?” Etc. It’s always inferring that formula is bad or that I need to improve my supply to feed 100% bm or that pumping is inferior to latching or that combo feeding isn’t good. I simply don’t care. It’s not anyone’s business what, how, or why unless they’re our pediatrician. My baby is fed. She’s happy and healthy. I’m content. Give your unsolicited advice to someone who gives a shit because it ain’t me.
@lolasode In defense of breastfeeding, every formula that I’ve seen says on the can “Breast milk is best for babies”. But of course that doesn’t account for all the stress, pain (emotional and physical), discomfort, energy drain, and of course frustration. We gave breastfeeding the old college try and it really just did not work out. My MIL still harbors some kind of prejudice I think, but has at least accepted that formula is making my baby healthy (88th percentile weight, length, head size) and happy.
It also seems to be cyclical. Back in the day, breastfeeding was for poor women who couldnt provide the newest, best formula for their babies. Now, everyone is on the all-natural kick. Probably only a matter of time until it shifts back to formula because of the added benefits of reduced stress, increased energy, more consistency in quantity, etc.
It also seems to be cyclical. Back in the day, breastfeeding was for poor women who couldnt provide the newest, best formula for their babies. Now, everyone is on the all-natural kick. Probably only a matter of time until it shifts back to formula because of the added benefits of reduced stress, increased energy, more consistency in quantity, etc.
katrina2017
New member
@maddehhhh To be fair everything says breastmilk is best for babies. Formula cans, prenatal education, hospitals. The recommendation is based mostly on observational studies that look at outcomes of formula fed and breastfed kids. These studies don’t account for the fact that moms who can breastfeed for six months or a year (esp. in the US) are often wealthier and have better access to healthy food, outdoor spaces and better schools. These are the things that impact kids’ outcomes, not what they are for the first few months of their lives.
There’s been one good quality randomized study done on this and no significant differences were found in intelligence, obesity or overall health in the long term. They did find breastfed kids did slightly better with childhood illnesses like ear infections, but only while they were being breastfed, not afterwards. Studies that look at sibling groups where one child is breastfed and one isn’t also didn’t find the breastfed siblings to be more intelligent or healthier.
There’s been one good quality randomized study done on this and no significant differences were found in intelligence, obesity or overall health in the long term. They did find breastfed kids did slightly better with childhood illnesses like ear infections, but only while they were being breastfed, not afterwards. Studies that look at sibling groups where one child is breastfed and one isn’t also didn’t find the breastfed siblings to be more intelligent or healthier.
@maddehhhh The formula can says that because of backlash from what Nestle did back in the day. It is not deeply evidence-based. Formula is not best for preemies. There’s otherwise basically no benefit either way.