@newroof It really depends on the company, there’s a statutory amount of pay which is about £150 a week (which is basically an insult as who can really live on that) some companies have enhanced parental leave, so my company is 26 weeks full pay, I was speaking to HR recently as they are looking to overhaul the policy and make it easier to apply for and understand and they were talking about this new law and suggesting that the additional leave would be full pay too.
@jdthcstl Take the leave. I will say that we didn’t really account for days baby needed to go to check ups, get vaccinated and might spike a fever, days daycare is closed or closes early, illness of anyone in the house so daycare is a no go. I recommend discussing that with your other caregivers and see if you want to save some of that time for those days, or just a random weekday to sleep in and do chores or do nothing without baby around.
@jdthcstl I can’t be the only one that only took like 2 weeks off…i was ready to get back to work. Mom and baby were doing great after 1 week so I felt it was okay to go back. Couldn’t imagine taking 5 months off work as a dad like some of the comments.
@zealcat It depends really, my wife is going back to work part time after 6 months off and I’m taking 6 months off so that our son has his first year fully at home with us. You only get this time with them once and if your employer is offering you a generous leave you might as well take it.
@jdthcstl The first year is the hardest (IMO) and your wife will appreciate the more help you're able to give (by letting her go back to work while you're home for a bit). So the longer the better.
I think I took 2 weeks up front while she got situated, but then went back to work while she had maternity leave. Then as soon as that ran out, we swapped places and I burned the rest of my paternity. Worked out pretty well.
PS you should probably politely nudge your employer to increase the paternity time they offer. USA trends are catching up with Europe and many are giving equal/parity for men/women when a child is born. Whatever they are giving the women in your company, they should be guilted into giving the men, if not already doing so. Just email HR some articles from public sites that praise these companies, they may update their policies for you. Honestly it will work, I did that exact thing and got my company to go from 2 to 8 weeks. This was before the whole trend was mainstream. Now 3-6 months is almost expected.
@jdthcstl Teachers: My wife and I are taking 1.5-2 months off then I get 2 months for summer. Then she gets fall off. She gets 8 months total. I get 4. It looks good. Not sure what it’ll feel like.
@jdthcstl Took 90 days on my second, only had 1 month with first, the firsts months are the hardest specially with the first, be useful wake up at night to change the diapers, and bring water snacks to your wife not all kids can breastfeed, both of mine had a tongue and lip tie so they couldn’t, in that case let wife pump or if you use formula and you give the bottle, bath the baby , become a family of 3, cook, do laundry so much shit you can do if you’re not feeding the baby by the end of the 2nd month you’ll be waking up less and will be able to go back to work slightly better then going to another room and (hopefully) feeling like shit because you’re leaving everything to your wife
@jdthcstl My wife and I get a combined 12 months off. She took the first 8 @ 85% salary, I took the last 4 @ 91% salary. Both our salarys were covered in portion by government social assistance.
We also had the option for 18 months of leave but wouldnt be salary compensated for the entire time.
@jdthcstl You should take all your protected time, and any additional time you can if your work is cool with that. For both of mine, I took the first 6 weeks off, then went back , but only for four day weeks for 20 weeks, the remaining two weeks of my guaranteed protected family leave I took at Christmas.
I was fortunate to have an office that was okay with this sort of thing. They preferred having me around, and I still had plenty of time with my kids. Fortunately I was also still able to earn OT some weeks and it helped while my wife was not working.
@jdthcstl There is SO MUCH change in those first few months. Soak it all in and that is awesome you get to take the time. Tricky part is that they start actually doing more things right around 3 months...I'd be tempted to split things up and take a month to start and then a couple two week breaks later, but taking 8 at the beginning will be great too.
@jdthcstl I have taken a solid block and a graduated version of paid FMLA since we have two kids. I prefer the graduated version. My work is generally pleasant and helps keep me grounded and mentally stimulated.
Ideally I would have worked half the week until I used all ten weeks, but graduating it allowed my wife to get more help up front when it was more needed.
@jdthcstl My husband had a couple weeks left over that he was able to take throughout the year which has been very nice! But he had three months off at the beginning so a little bit more to play with. After 6 weeks I think your wife might be ok to leave, depending on how her birth goes. If you sign up for the whole amount of time now, does that prevent you from actually going back a tiny bit early (if all is going well) and then using the extra 2 weeks throughout the year?
@jdthcstl Take the time!! My maternity leave started in July, I will go back to work January 2nd. Almost 6 months! I also went out 2 1/2 months early dude to pregnancy complications. So I’m honestly dreading going back and recovering all my passwords, but if that’s my biggest worry I think I’m okay. Now on the flip side….my husband (works from home but is in sales and gone over night once a week and travels for meetings 2-3 times a week) took off two week from traveling but was still working. It was brutal.
Take the time! It will be such a big help to your SO. Taking care of the baby will mostly fall on her, so take care of her. Congratulations!
@jdthcstl I’m on my third week now of paid family leave, and it flies by so fast. It’s worth it in my opinion. Take as long as you can. The job will always be there, but helping your loved ones is priceless. I had to take the time off as soon as my daughter was born because my wife got a c section, so I had to care for both of them. I live in California and here we get 8 weeks through the edd website.
