Going through it

@cm0308 I'm feeling exactly the same right now. 3kids under 10. Some days it gets super overwhelming i just dont know what to do. I savour the moments when te kids are happy and in good mood. Talk to them that we have to help each other. Idk if they understand. Let's never stop praying i guess. We can do this 💙
 
@cm0308 My wife decided that she didn’t want to be a mother or wife after 12 years and 3 kids so I’m in a similar situation. I have been a single dad for 3 years and have a child in elementary, middle and high school. I have been struggling with so much lately and have no friends to talk to or lean on. I feel like breaking lately but I can’t, so it doesn’t matter anyways.
It’s awesome to see all the support flowing in for you and I truly wish you the best. I’m trying to stay positive and not let depression win. Reading all these posts has helped a little. Thank you.
 
@jeanine1994 You need to have a good cry . Trust me. You will feel better . It gets hard. Really hard. What litterally woke me up was when I woke up in hospital because I had low sugar and blood levels weighed 43kgs .

For the first time in a long time I cried,just the thought of my kids having to loose their mom and knowing,even during my struggle no one was there for us, so what if I never woke up.. that thought broke my heart to pieces but it cleared my vision.. I had to make time for my physical and mental and emotional wellbeing. Because if I'm empty . Nobody will take my place.

So cry.. scream into a pillow... Your babies need you in full.. you will reap glorious fruits. Nothing that money can buy..
🤞🙏
 
@cm0308 Trust me. You WILL GET THROUGH IT.. I'm 37(f) I have 4 beautiful rats BTwn the ages of 18 and 9.. 8 and half years ago. I lost everything.. and I mean EVERYTHING... Fending for those kids alone, I get you, crying yourself to sleep, mamma I grasp you. Wondering where or how you'll be able to meet their next needs. I'm feeling your soul.. but you know what. YOU ARE GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT, they are making you want to keep going. And trust me. You are going to be the most proudest blessed mama who will be talked about. Because you know why. Nobody will understand how you could have made it. Keep sowing love. Keep nourishing.. instill in those babies goodness and greatness. Form bonds , unbreakable bonds with them, share your everything among yourselves.. because once you get out of the hole you feel you are in now. The world is going to want to stain and rip apart what you've accomplished. Because you done something everybody was waiting on you to fail at.. be strong mamma. Trust God and His timing
 
@cm0308 It’s going to get better. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.I am 31 with one child and I feel for you. Stay strong. Your going to get through this. It’s not fair how they continue on life without any worries or care for their children while we do all the work. But with therapy I’ve learned to only focus on what you can control. Also there is no shame in crying get it out. Sending all the love and support your way.
 
@cm0308 Single mom of 3 with a 4th on the way. Had a lot of pressure from family and the new baby’s dad to terminate the pregnancy, even went twice to a clinic and couldn’t follow through with it.
The two older ones dad has not been In The picture pretty much since 2011. The third ones dad and I have joint custody so she is here half the time. Idk how I’m going to do it when the new baby gets here, I’m 13weeks and I will be alone with that baby as well. The kids are excited and I’m stressed lol. You are doing great. You show up for your kids every day and that’s all that matters. It’s hard. Seems like kids are just something some guys can put in the back of their head and not worry about. No accountability. But your kids will see that and they will know exactly how loved they’ve been their entire lives by their mama and they will repay that love back someday with appreciation. You’ll never be alone. Those deadbeats will never know what true unconditional love is and karma will find them. Keep going. We are capable of more than we think.🥰
 
@cm0308 Big hugs for you, mama! I feel you—Iʻm about 2 years post separation and just recently the divorce went through. My ex definitely takes advantage of his male privilege to minimize all time and financial support for his young daughters while maximizing every little visitation with multiple photos on social media so he can get kudos for being such a “good dad” (despite my not wanting our kidsʻ photos posted). It’s a joke! The kids are with me 99% of the time and he wonʻt see them together, only separately since he canʻt handle having both of them at the same time (and also doesnʻt want me to have a life or a break). The only way I’ve made it through is by treating myself to babysitting and going out occasionally with friends and having a weekly girl gang breakfast or lunch (with friends who are moms) and just laughing and venting. Find ways you can also prioritize yourself and cultivate self-compassion and relationships with folks who support and love you and let yourself be supported and loved!!! Also good for your kids to help out around the house—they learn responsibility and you don’t have to do everything.
 
@cm0308 It’ll be alright. I’ve been doing the same since 2012. They’re 17 and 11 now. It’s hard but you’ll get through it and it’ll be worth it because they’ve got you and you’ve got them.
 
@cm0308 I’m sir your doing enrolling for the little ones and I’m time it will pay off! Life has ups and downs just ride it out. I’m sure your life will all turn out the way you dreamed of over time.
 
@cm0308 Sending love and light mama! It will get better. It gets easier with time. I have four kids as well, it’s been 6 years and I’m just getting back on my feet solid.
 
@cm0308 Are there any single parent groups in your area? This absolutely saved me back in the day. Found a couple friends that we could exchange some child care with to at least have some respite even if that just meant going to the grocery store alone. Also, having a couple single parent friends just to go to the park and co-wrangle kids was helpful.
Check Meet Up, check social media for any groups in your area. If there aren't any, you might have to throw a lifeline out and try to assemble a little group yourself. Sometimes the smallest thing, like having one evening off to yourself, can be such a lifesaver.
 
@cm0308 I am just recently divorced, have a one year old son I only get to see once a week for an hour 💔
Life has been so tough, I’m lost in a spiral that never goes away day after day. I am having a very difficult time.
 
@cm0308 I feel this. I’m a single mom of 4 boys. I’m also disabled, so that makes it even harder. It makes me so mad when I see my ex-husband living life with no worries (drinking in a bar about every night) and I’m struggling to make ends meet. I’m driving a 98 Camry because I can’t afford to get anything better. If I could get a job, I would, but physically my body can’t take it. I have Larsen Syndrome. So do my boys. 3 of them are doing fine, while my 3 yo is more severe, like me. Life is hard. It’s too dang hard. I have no family, thanks to my messed up mother, so I’m literally on my own. Never go out. No vacations. No sick time. Nothing. I love my boys and I’m glad I have them, but I didn’t ask for crappy fathers.
 
@cm0308 Yes it's rough. Shit it's the hardest thing EVER, and you're right, few people truly understand what you are going through. They may sympathize and WANT to understand, but they dont and never will. And that's ok. Start focusing on the positives and not their father. Sounds like he doesn't deserve even one ounce of your energy! Give it to your children, pour into them, be there for them and focus on them. That will get you through. Know that YOU are your children's everything and they will eventually see that (if they are too young and don't already) and they will love and appreciate you even more for it. Trust me. I've been there, and still there but 4 of mine are teenagers now and the other is in his 20s. And I would like to tell you that it gets easier, but to tbh it doesn't. In fact in some ways it gets harder. But it is more rewarding in a lot of ways. YOU get to be there for every joy, bump and scrape they experience, every concert, graduation, art exhibit, birthday party, first dance, first love and heartbreak. That is an honor, trust me. And honor you are blessed with. Truly enjoy it and cherish those times with them because you'll never get it back and eventually, when they are teenagers, they will act like they dont want you around as much or need you (when they REALLY do! So do not stop🤪) but that is a good thing because they are practicing to become their own independent, confident, self-reliant, successful member of society. They will make mistakes and poor choices, some more than others, but you will be there to guide them. They'll know who loves them and takes care of them, who's there for them, will do anything for them, will listen to them and most of all, love them and accept them no matter what mistakes they make!

Don't talk bad about the other parent OR make excuses for him, as he is NOT worth it and he made his own adult decision to not be part of their lives. It's HIS loss! Believe it or not, dwelling on that will give HIM power and hurt your relationship with your kids. Let your kids make up their own mind about him, because if they aren't allowed to do that, they may end up resenting you when they are in their late teens, especially if you have boys (VERY common). Just continue to care for them to your best ability, be their #1 supporter and biggest advocate and guide them through all of life's rough patches. THAT is truly priceless.

Plus, remember you're raising 4 wonderful little beings that will grow up and potentially take care of YOU someday. You'll need them to WANT to do this. The way you take care of them now will definitely be a precursor to the way they will love and care for you when you're old! Trust me, nursing homes are horrible😥 and NO ONE will care for you better than someone who truly loves you!

Also, its VERY important to make time to engage in something (or things) YOU love, that's healthy for you, relieves stress and brings YOU joy. Like working out, yoga, weekly massage, prayer, a bubble bath, meditation, adult sport league, moms support group, bible study, book club, weekly night out with other single moms, dancing, painting, reading, writing, learning something new...whatever fills up your cup so you don't get depleted and therefore not able to give more to your children. They need you and they really need you to be healthy AND happy! And when it gets super hard, remember and tell yourself (out loud works best) "This too shall pass!" 🥰
 
@cm0308 And also release your guilt for choosing who you chose. You were young and it's over and done. Everything happens for a reason and you have 4 amazing babies out of it! DO NOT blame yourself for the other parents' choices. He's an adult, and he made his choice to not be around or not be in their lives or not be supportive or just be a douche or whatever your situation is. That is HIS choice and NOT your burden to bear! Hold your head high and be proud of yourself and your amazing family. You are stronger than you think and the rewards and benefits are far greater than you know! 💜
 
@cm0308 The state will help you get child support. There are options. I walked away from everything due to dv and I will tell you it gets better. Hang in there Mama Bear, you’ve got this 🖤
 
@cm0308 I am raising only one son alone, so I can not imagine how difficult it must be. All that I can say is hang in' there. They will get bigger. Give the vigger children chores to help out, like folding laundry. Just to make it a little easier. You will see that when they are all grown up, they will look after you because I am sure they will respect this awesome Mother
 
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