Disappointed that I couldn’t handle the pain of giving birth unmedicated

[amazinggracecountry]

@voice_itw I said the same thing until i checked into the hospital with 3 days of no sleep under my belt due to laboring at home. I decided that an epidural nap would be the only way I’d muster up any strength and energy to push my daughter out.

No one gets a sticker for delivering unmedicated. We do what we need to do to ensure safe and healthy deliveries for mom and baby. You’re a champion and birthed a little human. That human is earthside because of YOU, medicated or otherwise. Give yourself grace.

 

[oliviate]

@voice_itw Please don’t feel bad!!! I was the queen of I’m going to have a natural labor and home birth because I CAN. Yeah no. I couldn’t. My body failed to progress and my waters had been broken for 24 hours. Transferred to hospital. Contractions picked up big time, was given just the tiniest dose of pitocin because we were racing the clock. I know those back to back contractions. I wanted to escape my body so bad. I could t sit still. It was horrible. Got the epidural at 8cm and it was a good thing I did because I spiked a fever and had an emergency c section. I know those feeling of not being able to”tough enough” and “my body failed me” all too well. But it’s all BS. Doesn’t matter how your baby got her, medicated or not medicated, vaginal or c section. Mamas we make PEOPLE. We are all bad asses.

 

[joakeem]

@voice_itw I had to do IVF for my son, and after three days of labor, I had a C-section. He was huge and I’m tiny, so it was probably for the best.

My experience with IVF was absolutely brutal - bed rest for days for horrible migraines, my vision changed, I was constantly nauseous, and I had allergy reactions (welts) from the daily testosterone shots. In fact, I still get welts there year later just for fun.

Some women do IVF with no symptoms at all - same medicine, same process, and the only difference is how our bodies experience it. There’s no way for me change how my body responded, and there’s no way to change how your body responded either.

 

[rajeduraj]

@voice_itw I had considered a natural birth because I thought I had a relatively high pain tolerance and I was SUPER afraid of the epidural. BUT I hit 5-6cm and was like lol, nope.

Honestly I had a really great birth experience and the epidural contributed to that. Once it was in I wasn’t worried or scared of the pain - I knew it would hurt after but I could focus on trying to stay calm and get baby here versus suffering through the pain.

Modern medicine is amazing. Giving birth is amazing. You grew a whole-ass human being and got her here. Now you get to love her and cherish her - having an epidural changes none of that.

 

[escortads]

@voice_itw I was induced, and after 12 hours of medication I felt no contractions until they checked my cervix. It was so painful, and jump started my contractions. I went from having 0 to having 45 second contractions, 90 seconds apart for 5 hours. When they checked my cervix again, it hurt so bad I cried and I had made ZERO progress, I was still at 1 cm dilated. I gave in and got the epidural.

A few hours later, the nurse accidentally pulled out the epidural while turning me and no one noticed. I literally had the option of going without, but I got the epidural again. No regrets.

 

[somedayiwill]

@voice_itw I had an unmedicated birth because I was bleeding before my waters had gone and baby’s heart rate had started dip and they had to rush things along so they broke my waters.

It was horrendous, I didn’t feel powerful or strong, I was lost in the pain. The midwife and my husband had to bring me back to reality and tell me to stop screaming and start putting my energy into pushing.

Before I had even gotten to the pushing stage I was begging for morphine or an epidural but baby was born within an hour and a half of me going back to the hospital so there was no time for anything except gas and air.

I felt so out of control compared to when I had my first baby. With her I had a remifentanyl drip and my pushing was so controlled and I could actually concentrate on it.

I had back to back contractions with my first baby, honestly so awful not getting a break between contractions. She was sunny side up too.

 

[hoctienganh]

@somedayiwill Ugh I relate hard to your description of being lost in the pain. Also had my waters broken when we stalled at 6cm and my epidural had already failed, it was horrendous. Nurse told me not to scream when pushing - to save the screams for later when I’d really need them. Like excuse me ma’am?! This sent me into a full panic spiral. Ended up with a cesarean due to babes heart rate dropping.

Something cathartic about writing it all out from time to time.

Congrats on doing this all multiple times, strong mama!!

 

[pragyana]

@voice_itw One of my best friends did a home birth unmedicated. I was asking her about it and she told me if an epidural had been an option, she would have gotten it. I believe it was financial reasons that she didnt deliver in a hospital.

Something i try to remind myself of is that the goal is to have a baby, not a birth. All births are natural.

 

[nobody2016]

@voice_itw Why would you want that? Prolonged and severe pain can trigger postpartum depression (trust me you don’t want this). We have the miracle of modern science, opioids, nitrous oxide and epidural now. Imagine this analogy: “I’m disappointed I couldn’t handle the pain of limb amputation without anaesthesia like Napoleon’s soldiers did in the 1700’s”.

It’s okay to mourne for an experience you never had, but seriously don’t be disappointed! A mother is the one who raises the child, not the one who gives birth, or the one who breastfeeds. I’m sure you’re doing a great job.

I wish I was medicated instead of being left alone, like a cat giving birth.

 

[maryslittleflower]

@voice_itw There’s no prize for women who suffer through an unmedicated birth. If someone breaks their leg, you don’t expect them to deal with it without using any painkillers. There’s nothing at all wrong with an epidural, I would have thrown myself out the hospital window without one. Yes, women have been giving birth for centuries without epidurals, but the rate of death in childbirth was also way higher.

 

[medic_man]

@voice_itw The Mums who had a good experience make a video gushing about it. The Mums who deeply regret not getting pain relief and feel traumatised are unlikely to. So these videos are feeding an incorrect confirmation bias.

I also dont really trust people who like social media attention enough to make videos about their perfect birth. Not all of course, but some of them are hamming it up to get the attention and praise they want.

 

[tfran]

@medic_man Yep! I know two women who went in medicated for their first, regretted it, got epidurals for their second.

 

[hadasssah]

@voice_itw Stop torturing yourself. There is no medal for doing birth unmedicated. I wanted an epidural and it failed so I ended up losing power in my legs, needing additional monitoring and wires from every angle... and no pain relief.

I hated the pain and I was angry that I couldn't move.

No 2 women or even 2 labours for the same woman are the same.

Just because 1 person can tolerate contractions for that particular labour doesn't mean you were feeling the same type or duration of pain.

Giving birth and healing physically and emotionally afterward is life altering enough as it is. Be kind to yourself

 

[hoctienganh]

@hadasssah This! The pain isn’t identical for each woman - so many factors at play. OP, you did exactly what you needed to do in the moment to take care of yourself and your baby

 

[helovesweedmore]

@voice_itw Please don't be so hard on yourself. You have no idea what the pain is going to be like until you're experiencing it. If you needed that epidural, then you needed it. It was sweet, sweet relief when I had it.

 

[christianforums5]

@voice_itw Also planned unmedicated, but had a back labour for 3 days and ended up having morphine which didn’t even help on the second night of labour,
laughing gas and epidural. They wouldn’t admit me
to the hospital because I was 2cm
dilated. Labour was so painful I remember clearly I was sure I was gonna die. When I finally was 4 cm and they admitted me, I bagged for the epidural. It took them several hours to do it because they had to run some blood tests due to low platelets. Epidural saved my life! for the first time in 3 days I ate something and had a nap. So so grateful!

That said, when someone asks me if I had an epidural, and I say yes, they kind of assumed
I didn’t exprerience anything and it was just easy and it makes me sad because I honestly thought I would die. I also then tell them it was medically necessary (it was, I was too exhausted to push) and I’m not even sure why do I explain myself to
ahyone!

You did great and as a result have a baby, yay (writing this as I’m dreamfeeding mine at 2 am and he just pooped so good luck to me )

 

[june2001]

@voice_itw My hospital had jacuzzis and I got in one but a nurse ran in and turned off the jets because I was hooked up to IVs and a monitor. At that moment I was like screw it call the anesthesiologist

I wanted to avoid the epidural too just because I heard it would be harder to push and I didn’t trust my body to just know what to do. but once they maxed out the pitocin the contractions got unbearable & I thought there was no dignity in suffering through it. Honestly I do think doing it unmedicated is something to be proud of but it’s a weird thing to brag about if the goal was to have a deeply intimate experience.

Once I got it I slept from 5 cm to when it was time to push and everything was so chill. Baby was here within 2 hours. I would totally do it again

 

[selam]

@voice_itw I know your pain , I felt like everything that I wanted went straight out the window when I had to be induced and I ended up with an emergency c … and it did I felt like my body wasn’t capable and it betrayed me in a way it never did. I don’t think that feeling will ever totally go away but I do think I came to peace with it over time. The more time I spend with my baby the less I care anymore how she got here. In the future I do want to try again if it’s in the cards for me without the epidural it ended up really scaring me that I couldn’t move my legs. You’ll come to peace with it it’s just going to take time , you made the right choice for you in that moment.

 

[stu80]

@voice_itw Dude…. You don’t get a medal for giving birth unmedicated… seriously who cares if you took the epidural or not. Not a big deal.

 

[wonderingstranger]

@voice_itw I was induced…got an epidural that failed. At 7cm dilation, my water broke and really painful contractions started that ramped up. When they put me to bed to monitor baby, I had a panic attack and puked all over the floor because I couldn’t move during contractions. I managed them by relying on my husband but when my OB told me she estimates 2-3 hours more untill I give birth, I begged her for a C-section because I couldn’t with the pain. I felt like a failure, but the outcome was great and C-section turned out to be pretty grwat and the recovery quick. My baby is healthy and that’s all that matters.

I understand you on this feeling of dissapointment, like you feel you failed…it’s about a goal you placed and you haven’t achieved. But let me assure you - you are a strong moma for handling pregnancy, giving birth and then taking care of a newborn!