I don’t know if I can handle another close friend getting pregnant
- Thread starter almunday
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- trying for a baby vent
@crossroads81 It can feel so shameful. I hope you take some comfort that there’s so many of us out here who feel the exact same. I know reading through all these comments has made me feel less alone
righteoustales
New member
@crossroads81 Never feel ashamed for your feelings! This situation is awful and no one would wish to be in it. Your feelings are valid and processing however you need to (crying, taking space for yourself, treating yourself, feeling sad, etc.) is important. communicate your needs and situation to your loved ones so they can give you space or check in on you more. Sending hugs and love.
I’m getting to the one year mark and have recently had a few close friends & family announce pregnancies and it is rough. I’ve only told one friend who is out side of my group of friends and family, but if I make it to a year of TTC I’m going to start telling more people so that I can get some more support.
I’m getting to the one year mark and have recently had a few close friends & family announce pregnancies and it is rough. I’ve only told one friend who is out side of my group of friends and family, but if I make it to a year of TTC I’m going to start telling more people so that I can get some more support.
katrina2017
New member
@almunday 5 years in and every single person who started trying now has 1 or 2 kids. I started with being in a group of people trying. All of them got pregnant so I found a group of people struggling where we'd support each other. Most of them got pregnant apart from 4 of us who really bonded. One lady got pregnant first, and it was 3 of us left. I was 25 and the rest were 38-45. All now have babies and I'm the only one left in the group. I've never spoken to anybody else in real life who hasn't been pregnant in 5 years. Every announcement stings. My friend announced to me recently before a 3 night spa trip. I had to pay £50 to have counselling before going as it took me to an absolutely awful dark place and it's taken me 5 weeks to get out of it. I see you 
@almunday I really resonated with this post on so many levels. I have lost track of how many cycles we've been trying (I think 15 or 16 at this point), but my consult with the fertility clinic is Sept. 1st and I just feel like it's going to be all bad news.
I am also so sick of comments like "you're so lucky you don't have kids and don't have to deal with X Y & Z" or "just wait till you have kids and experience X Y & Z".
I'm sorry you're in this horrible situation but you're not alone. My DMs are open if you ever need to chat
I am also so sick of comments like "you're so lucky you don't have kids and don't have to deal with X Y & Z" or "just wait till you have kids and experience X Y & Z".
I'm sorry you're in this horrible situation but you're not alone. My DMs are open if you ever need to chat
kylespringer
New member
@kylespringer I know. Most people who know our struggles are sensitive and don’t say shit like that but we still hear it and it both enrages me and breaks my heart all at the same time.
kylespringer
New member
@kylespringer I have started to get that way too. Especially when people should know better.
hyperionlight
New member
@bethann I have an aunt that says this to me all the time about how I'm not missing much. She says she's been on both sides of being infertile and now having 5 kids...yet she still says these insensitive things to me. In her case, there was MFI so I don't know if that just makes her less sensitive too?
@almunday I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've been contemplating deleting Instagram and staying off it - a point I thought I wouldn't get to. I feel like this year at least half of my feed got pregnant/had a baby, and it's only August. I've been so emotional the past couple of weeks, and especially this past week, and thinking irrationally. It's been a year of TTC, my birthday is next month, I'm turning 31. My sister is married and thinking of TTC next year, my brother is getting married in December. I can't seem to stop thinking that I'm the eldest, married first, and they will have a child before me. It's so irrational, I know neither is in a rush, but I'm convinced it will be a happy surprise for everyone except me. I hate I'm becoming like this, hate how I'm consumed by this, how I can no longer think of these things without feeling tears welling up immediately. I've taken so many bathroom breaks just to cry at work.
Sending you virtual hugs, OP. It really sucks.
Sending you virtual hugs, OP. It really sucks.
findingrest
New member
@almunday Just wanted to say that I see you, I hear you, you are valid.
In the same boat. My sister and close cousin, workmate all have healthy babies that are 5months+ both conceived while I was TTC. My best friend already has her two children (one accidental). Another friend isn't far off having her baby (which is her second)
And recently had to deal with the fact that two of my teenage family members are accidentally pregnant.
It's totally not fair and hurts so bad.
In the same boat. My sister and close cousin, workmate all have healthy babies that are 5months+ both conceived while I was TTC. My best friend already has her two children (one accidental). Another friend isn't far off having her baby (which is her second)
And recently had to deal with the fact that two of my teenage family members are accidentally pregnant.
It's totally not fair and hurts so bad.
@findingrest Thank you, it’s so unfair
@almunday I’ve experienced something similar. I was in a Bible study with 5 other couples.all have announced their pregnancy in the last 3 months. We’ve been TTC for 12 cycles with 2 miscarriages so it’s been devastating. I don’t know how to protect my mental health and still be friends with them when being around them hurts my heart.
I feel you. Im so sorry where in this awful club. I have to believe it’s our time soon
I feel you. Im so sorry where in this awful club. I have to believe it’s our time soon
@almunday I had a friend once tell our friend group over snapchat. She knew all my struggles very well, and I don't care so much that she told us that way, but she just looked so annoyed and unhappy that she was pregnant. It was so hard for me.
Some days I'm really happy for people. Or, at least, it starts out that way. Then the reality and sadness creeps in for me, and the inside of my mind spirals into moments with a baby that could have been mine. It's just not fair.
Some days I'm really happy for people. Or, at least, it starts out that way. Then the reality and sadness creeps in for me, and the inside of my mind spirals into moments with a baby that could have been mine. It's just not fair.
snowballowen
New member
@snowballowen My best friend announced that she got pregnant by accident. I found our a few days ago, on the day my 14th cycle started. I wanted to scream and die.
@almunday Really needed this thread!! I am in the same boat, no ounce to give anymore. I had to get off of social media because all I was seeing was babies or pregnancy announcements. It got to the point where it was beyond immediate friends it was of friends, people I had gone to school with, former coworkers, etc. It’s so unfair.