How do y’all handle explaining absences at work?

[1answer2]

@sarajul I had to do this monthly for around 8 months. I used vague appointments, contractors or deliveries I needed to be home for …. My fertility clinic is an hour drive from home, than 1.5 hours back to work so I also tried to always book my appointments for as early as possible. Usually if I got a 7am appointment I was only about 15 mins late back to work so I’d just text ‘running late!’ I also work in a very gossipy office and know for a while the rumour going around was that I had these appointments because I was pregnant- I put a stop to that as quickly as I could

 

[jenm127]

@sarajul One thing to consider is if you are located in the U.S., infertility treatments could technically be covered under ADA and if your employer refuses to allow you time-off for treatments, that could be considered discriminatory and you might have some protections there. The law is still super vague and not 100% clear or protective, but I decided to email my boss privately in order to have written documentation in case I was refused or questioned about my appointments, and at worst fired.

My email was super short, "Dear Boss, I want to make you aware that I am undergoing fertility treatments and have to take frequent medical appointments. I will do my best to accommodate my appointments around my work schedule. I would like to keep this a private matter and appreciate your discretion. If anyone in the office inquires about my absence please inform them that it is a private medical issue. Sincerely Employee."

I didn't really want to let anybody know, but my boss turned out to be super compliant about my schedule and it worked out really well.

 

[sarajul]

@jenm127 I hadn’t thought of that, but thank you for pointing it out! I’m hoping I won’t need to resort to this, but it’s good information either way. Thank you for sharing

 

[sparow]

@sarajul I just told my boss that I had some medical appointments and small procedures coming up and I’d be out occasionally over the next few months and left it at that.

 

[ashdorkable]

@sarajul I asked this in another group recently, since I'm also starting IUI next month. My clinic does monitoring and procedures in the morning, so I blocked out mornings on my calendar around the days that I expect the next 2 cycles to land, and told my team that I have a number of medical appointments coming up that I have little scheduling control over, hence the blocked calendar.

I have a supportive environment and could comfortably tell them more if/when I want, but for now, I've only told a couple coworkers that I'm closer to about what is going on.

 

[christian003]

@sarajul Tell them your mom/dad/brother/grandma ect has a chronic illness if you need to say something to keep gossip at bay. I'm sorry you're in this position at work

 

[williams36]

@sarajul My husband decided to be honest. It's been positive for him, his boss is considering it on par with medical appointments and his coworkers are more than willing to trade shifts because they know what's up.

It depends on the workplace and you really what you're comfortable with

 

[williams36]

@sarajul My husband decided to be honest. It's been positive for him, his boss is considering it on par with medical appointments and his coworkers are more than willing to trade shifts because they know what's up.

It depends on the workplace and you really what you're comfortable with

 

[valujira]

@sarajul I would say I'm having a medical procedure and just leave it at that!

 

[chaplainofthehills]

@sarajul I told my scheduling manager that I was freezing my eggs and that I ran into problems so it would take a few months. And then surprise! I’m pregnant.

 

[sarajul]

@chaplainofthehills lol! That’s an interesting way to address that

 

[noarque]

@sarajul All I said was that I had medical appointments scheduled that I needed to attend. They did not need to know all the details and I kept it that way!

 

[nidmahl]

@sarajul You don't have to explain. But also most clinics have very accommodating hours. My clinic opens at 7 am so I can usually be at work by 9 even with an IUI procedure.

I also told my manager though because she's awesome, even though I didn't have to. So whatever makes you comfortable.

 

[tzipora]

@sarajul I’ve told my boss, and eventually told the coworkers I work closely with because I hated dancing around it. But in general I say “I’m dealing with some medical issues”. Most people don’t ask anything beyond that, but if they did I’d say “I don’t feel comfortable discussing that at work”

 

[espososbutterfly]

@sarajul When I need to take off for health reasons, I either say I have a doctor appointment or I say I have a migraine. At one point I took quite a bit off for appointments and such (different situation than yours) but I just told everyone that I scheduled all my checkups and just was working through them.

 

[fingtam]

@sarajul I might have to do IUI soon. I've actually told my manager that my husband and I are trying. So I would probably be honest with him. We do still have WFH flexibility so there's that.

 

[clairvoyance]

@sarajul Allergy testing…

 

[personaldilemma]

@sarajul I don’t. I just put on my calendar my ooo and put dr appt. Nobody asks and I haven’t mentioned it either.

 

[tcoltreed03]

@sarajul A good manager shouldn’t and wouldn’t pry when you say you have medical needs for being off. I’m a manager and “doctors appointment” is just fine for me. But our philosophy is, if you have the time, take it as long as your stuff is covered, if needed.

 

[squiddles]

@sarajul You've gotten some good advice about what to say to work, Im not sure about your clinic but mine only has two appointments for an IUI. So it may not be many appointments! IVF definitely entails more appointments and more flexibility with work in my experience