@wrestleswithgod It’s been almost two for me and people have started asking if I’m dating and I am like, are you serious? Who/when/why/HOW??? Being a single mom of a toddler is NOT what I pictured for my life at 40, but I can’t even fathom going through the process of starting over with someone new while having a toddler. I am fortunate that dad is still in the picture so I do I have some time, but most of that goes to you know… laundry lol
Dating as a Single Dad is Frustrating
- Thread starter rosine
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- single parents
@wrestleswithgod Same here. Just saying ‘I hear you’ … the struggle is real.
chrissiems
New member
@rosine Interesting you talk about women thinking you “too” involved. I always found a huge turn off with men who weren’t equally involved/weren’t fighting to be.
You’re young, many don’t have kids until later now and it’s outside of many people’s comfort zones. Those aren’t the folk you’d want around your kiddo anyway.
My advice would be just date to have fun and meet people. Get your confidence up. The right person will come in time. Many single mums will pop into the market in their late 20s/early 30s!
You’re young, many don’t have kids until later now and it’s outside of many people’s comfort zones. Those aren’t the folk you’d want around your kiddo anyway.
My advice would be just date to have fun and meet people. Get your confidence up. The right person will come in time. Many single mums will pop into the market in their late 20s/early 30s!
austinjesusfreak
New member
@rosine As a daughter of a former single father, trust me you’ll find them. My father had over 20 girlfriends in the span of my lifetime that I remember, which is hard to believe sometimes because he was a dead beat dad and barely paid child support. But these women never stopped coming, but I will say he got into much more serious long term relationships when we were older. He had long term relationships when we were younger too, but definitely more as we aged. Maybe women don’t want to be involved so much when your kids are still so young, at least from my perspective as having watched my single father date my entire adolescence.
@rosine A lot of times women step away because of the issues that come with being a step mother. I was a step mother for 4 and a half years and it traumatized me horribly. My exes, ex wife was consistently controlling everything with their daughter, always created some issue with me and drove me absolutely insane. Whenever I put my 2 cents in, I was in the wrong and if I stepped aside, she would say “She’s not even acting like she cares about my daughter” I never won. So a lot of times women step away for that exact reason, the conflict between herself and the mother. Sometimes they want the attention to themselves. Especially if they don’t have kids of their own. If the love of my life is a single dad, I just pray that I can have a peaceful relationship with the mother and get along. I wouldn’t mind dating/marrying a father. I have 2 boys of my own. The issue for me isn’t the child(ren) it’s the mom 
@rosine yeah i feel you OP. it’s really frustrating on our part being alone in the relationship. I salute you for being there for your daughter. don’t blame yourself for not finding yet “the one”. it may not be the right now for now. good thing you only have 1 child while me (37F) have 1 young adult and 2 kids. cherish being single for now you may thank it later.
@rosine I’m late 30s/F with a special needs son. I’ve been single for almost two years now. Within two months of leaving, his dad found a new “girlfriend”. His dad will not follow the parenting schedule and will only have him every other weekend. No holidays. No extended weekends due to school holidays. Nothing. On most days, I like to decompress and take time to myself. Those with special needs baby’s will get this. I do not have the time to go out and meet someone new in such a limited amount of time that I am free. Is it unfair? Yes. But. The dating pool isn’t what it used to be. Lol. Even online dating. 
hang in there OP. The right person will come along in his/her time. 
hang in there OP. The right person will come along in his/her time. @treehouse I also don’t have the time/desire to date at the moment, and I take comfort in reports from the field that dating these days is an absolute shit show lol. I haven’t been on a date since, wow just did the math…. 2008 
cavitehouseandlot
New member
@rosine This is odd. I wonder where you are looking. For me, as I work on wrapping my head around recentering the dating world, I have some rules. One of which is if I date a guy who has children that is very involved in their lives. He’s not picking them up for weekends/days here and there and that’s it. I mean involved that he is with them as much as he can. Is a big part of making appointments, gongs to appointments, going to games, helps with homework, knows their kids teachers. that sort of stuff. Who the hells wants to date a deadbeat dad??? maybe you are only looking at woman who want to start a family completely fresh. You should probably look at other single parents too. and i am betting try to date closer to your age….
@cavitehouseandlot I’ve admitted to my therapist I’ve been picky about who I try and match with because of past relationship trauma. So the women I’ve talked to have typically been Age range: 25-35, wants or open to children (or have/does not have kids) and is emotionally intelligent (as best as I can discern).
By involved in my daughter’s life, I have her every weekend due to my job and her being in school where her mom lives. I take her to dance class and make sure I have all of her important school/extracurricular events off so I can be there. Mom and I are supposed to share responsibilities in regards to medical, school, etc but recently I’ve been the one taking her to, scheduling all medical appointments and being her main advocate. Which I’m okay with, because I want to be there to know what’s going on. Mom is content with just being updated now.
Majority of the time, my daughter is with me when I take a vacation and we’ll go to Disney, a roadtrip, etc. Mom often plans her vacations to visit the husband’s family during the school year and doesn’t take her on those trips cause of school, even when school isn’t in session. She has told her parents “she’s not a part of their (husband’s) family, so she doesn’t need to be there.” The only trips she does take her on is when her family will be there.
By involved in my daughter’s life, I have her every weekend due to my job and her being in school where her mom lives. I take her to dance class and make sure I have all of her important school/extracurricular events off so I can be there. Mom and I are supposed to share responsibilities in regards to medical, school, etc but recently I’ve been the one taking her to, scheduling all medical appointments and being her main advocate. Which I’m okay with, because I want to be there to know what’s going on. Mom is content with just being updated now.
Majority of the time, my daughter is with me when I take a vacation and we’ll go to Disney, a roadtrip, etc. Mom often plans her vacations to visit the husband’s family during the school year and doesn’t take her on those trips cause of school, even when school isn’t in session. She has told her parents “she’s not a part of their (husband’s) family, so she doesn’t need to be there.” The only trips she does take her on is when her family will be there.
biblestudyresources
New member
@rosine I feel you. I’m a single mom with a 3 year old son that I have full time. Dad isn’t in the picture. In my case a lot of guys don’t have the patience to work around my schedule which I can’t blame them. Dating apps are a lost cause for me so I just stay alone until hopefully one day I form an organic relationship with someone who knows my life and is okay with it.
wayne4jesus6302
New member
@rosine Equally frustrating for a woman , alls I can say is do background checks , and make sure to mention it in your bio’s nothing wrong with being a proud dad. If they can’t understand you have children they clearly are not the ones for you. I have children from a previous marriage as does my partner. It comes with challenges, but the one whom matters and makes a difference won’t mind in the least.
@rosine I'm a single mom dating a single dad and honestly, it does suck on both ends compared to dating as a single adults. Both of us have to fit our kids into the equation. We are about 4-6 months into it and initially, I wanted to call it quits many 'a times before, because, it simply wasn't 'fun' like it was b4 having kids. But I do feel his personality fits me really really well and I think it would be hard for me to find another with these traits. So I'm still in it. And he seems to really want us to work out. There has been difficult times to 'bond' as his son is 9 and my daughter is 2. So it's not so ez to keep both kids entertained at the same time. But we are on the same page about life most of the time, so we can talk things out and try different ways to approach things. So far, it's working. If not, at least I genuinely gave it my best shot and won't look back once I move on. I guess you just have to keep looking. You can put it on the back burner but don't close the door. If you try, you have at least 50%. If you don't, you have 0%.
@rosine I (39M) hear you. Been divorced for 2 years and have full custody over my 8F. Her mom is bipolar and pops in and out but is not responsible enough for me to trust her with any regular care schedule. She’s been rotating across 3-4 guys the last year, always meeting someone new. She’s too unstable to build a lasting relationship but she’s getting all the sex she wants. I’m barely getting first dates and never able to get to anything physical. Incredibly frustrating being the stable and responsible one but being unable to attract anything consistent or even a fling.
Trying to do as others on this thread have said, focus less on trying to get with someone and work on myself more instead. I know this is the logical thing to do, but there’s only so much loneliness (and I guess horniness?) one can take.
Oh well, there’s still lots to be grateful for in my life. Will try to keep focusing on those things.
Trying to do as others on this thread have said, focus less on trying to get with someone and work on myself more instead. I know this is the logical thing to do, but there’s only so much loneliness (and I guess horniness?) one can take.
Oh well, there’s still lots to be grateful for in my life. Will try to keep focusing on those things.
negativeflare
New member
@truepeace My baby’s father has bipolar disorder I have her full time and he picks her up for just the day on Sunday where his mom is supervision basically. I can’t fathom using my one Sunday alone in meeting up with dudes on dating apps who definitely want someone who has more free time. I know he’ll eventually find someone since he has all of the time in the world to do whatever he wants. Most days I’m happy and content but it also gets so lonely I hear you. Mental health issues are a bitch.