Dating as a Single Dad is Frustrating

[hiltopp]

@aspeck Hah...yah...u can say that. A lot of single parents w/ 3-4 kids...

 

[aspeck]

@hiltopp Not sure what that has to do with anything but okay.. yeah some of us have 3 or more kids but that’s not what makes the app garbage

 

[isthisamansworld]

@hiltopp I found stir a little off putting, many profiles that I saw stated not even having children which jarred me lol

 

[hiltopp]

@isthisamansworld Wow, really?? Well I found someone off of it. But it's not really going well and I've been debating ending it. Once I do and start dating again, for sure I won't be using Stir again.

 

[isthisamansworld]

@hiltopp Yeah, it was very surprising to say the least - sorry to hear that, best of luck to you

 

[hiltopp]

@isthisamansworld Yah it sucks but thank you.

 

[raelynne]

@pmjordan This! A good app that! There's a couple out there that are terrible.

 

[dubois]

@rosine If this shit ain’t the truth idk what is haha

 

[gabbythanks]

@rosine I’m a 42F - try dating as the single mom of 5 sons. I prioritize them and men have an issue with it. Their dad has limited involvement and my mom keeps them on Friday nights only if I want to go out

 

[unknown26]

@rosine Anecdotally, it is a spectrum. When my son was an infant, women did not want to be involved in raising a baby. When my son was in primary school through high school, they were not interested in him being so old. Now that my son is in college, women find it turns them off to have me providing him financial backing and housing that could be spent on them. I have been fortunate enough to live the past 20 years with someone I can call my son, not our son and never called your son. I would not change a single day of my life. Some days, I am so glad my life is so free of drama, and no days have I ever had the stupid idiotic fear of dying alone. No one gets to pick how they die or has the control over others to obligate them to cater to that unforeseeable final moments. Love your daughter today. No one ever in the history of humanity on their deathbed said, “I wish I had not told my children I love them so much.” If the women you find your self meeting feel you are going to love your children too much, you are well worth rid of them.

 

[redruthie7889]

@rosine This is why I stopped dating. After 8 years of trying, I threw in the towel. I have 100% custody of my kid who is a special needs child. I feel you!

 

[jp138]

@rosine I understand your struggle, but I think you're absolutely wonderful for keeping standards for your daughter. Dating is hard after kids, but even more so when so many people think you'll put them first over your children.

 

[step7hen]

@rosine Dm me lol

 

[dinx]

@rosine I’ve given up. I’ve gotten 6 months in and they suddenly flake on me. It’s too confusing for my boy.

 

[merrlix]

@dinx Six months is probably a very natural time for a relationship that doesn’t quite fit to have run its course. It’s a good thing that these ‘could be ok but never great’ relationships end when they do. Learn what you can from the experience. Focus on being the best you and you’ll (eventually) be glad that they came into your life (and that you both moved on).

Also our children’s relationships with ex’s are different to ours. My daughter (19) is best of friends with one of my ex’s and is still in touch with the other that I’ve had in my life since separating from her mother. My son (15) has processed things a little differently but still refers to the first very affectionately. I think it depends on how you conduct yourself and whether you can stay respectful through the hurt.

Good luck though. Hope you find your perfect (she’ll be worth the wait … or at least that’s what all the songs say )

 

[catalystsocial]

@rosine Pls don't loose hope the world is so big and has so many potential ppl to date..

I'm a single mom too and if I weren't that old I'd date someone like you, don't give up!

 

[maranathatech]

@rosine As a single mom of a special needs severely autistic kid I’m just going to be the one to say it, don’t even focus on serious relationships. Go on dates in your free time and have fun, but finding somebody who can actually deal with everything that we go through as special needs parents is like finding a fucking unicorn

 

[justagirl87]

@maranathatech Thissssssss

 

[coralemoine89]

@rosine

Majority of girls I’ve matched with on apps or talked irl have been turned away as soon as they realize I’m a dad. It’s mentioned in my bios, but most don’t read it. Some have even told me if I wasn’t so involved in my daughter’s life, they’d want to form a more serious relationship with me. ...

....

Don’t know if it’s a me problem, dating culture in general, or both.

It's not just you... I have in my dating bio that I am a divorced Dad with three toddlers that I have 50/50 and active part of their lives. Meanwhile on dates the women act all surprise that I have three "super young kids" half of the times. I just want to say to them, so you didn't read my bio, though I was lying, and/or a total fucking moron.

I’d rather be single forever than be with someone who disrespects my daughter like that.

I feel the same way ... I rather be single and part of my kids lives, than be with a possible two timing who---.

 

[wrestleswithgod]

@rosine i feel you entirely. it’s been 5 years for me and i haven’t even tried or put myself out there. It’s just me and my daughter, it’s hard! i also don’t co parent or have days off / splitting custody time with her dad so it’s literally impossible lol you aren’t alone.