What would you have done?

[ajewelinhiscrown]

@medialab Thank you. Quite right.

 

[lnavi]

@medialab Right tool for the situation. I like the way you said this. Very true

 

[ajewelinhiscrown]

@lnavi Yes. Me too.

 

[poppylavender]

@ajewelinhiscrown You handled it well. Not every moment can be as educational as they are dire.

 

[ajewelinhiscrown]

@poppylavender Thank you.

 

[everyrose]

@poppylavender Exactly spot on here. Sometimes there's room for a lesson, sometimes there's only room for fear.

 

[ajewelinhiscrown]

@everyrose Very good way of putting it.

 

[lina_jejushop]

@ajewelinhiscrown We do what we can to keep them safe, even if it sometimes hurts their feelings a little bit in the process. I recall when my eldest was 2, I had broken my knee and was using crutches. We were out one day and he decides to throw a fit, and attempt to run out into the busy parking lot. There was no way I could have hobbled over to catch him in time. So without thinking, I grabbed a shopping cart that happened to be within arms reach and pushed it at him, knocking him over. He was very upset but otherwise unscathed. Everyone around looked at me like I was some kind of abusive monster, but no one was about to run after the baby toddling into the road. Of course, I’m not proud of it, but in that moment it was either get run over by a shopping cart or get run over by a pickup truck. We do what we can. I’m sure your 5 year old will recover. Perhaps you can try talking with her now that everything has calmed down. It’s never too early for kids to learn that even grownups say and do things out of emotion and you’d be showing her that you’re willing to own up and apologize for your angry words while still pressing home the point that what she did was very dangerous, and that you were just scared.

 

[cleonardjr]

@lina_jejushop Omg im so sorry but I'm absolutely dying laughing picturing this! Probably because it's 6am and ive been awake since 4am for absolutely no reason other than being 36 weeks pregnant and uncomfortable. So inappropriate(my LOLing obvi). But I can literally also feel the panic that prolly set over you as you had a split second to act. You def picked the lesser of two evils and exactly what I'd have done given the choice.

 

[lina_jejushop]

@cleonardjr Yeah the security footage would be interesting to watch haha. Lady on crutches runs down toddler with shopping cart and then promptly hobbles over to comfort him, lol

 

[ajewelinhiscrown]

@lina_jejushop Thank you so much for this. Wow, that must have been a harrowing situation you were in. I would have done the same thing. You’re right, we do what we can. We try to do our best and sometimes that means acting in these ways to simply survive the situation.

 

[lina_jejushop]

@ajewelinhiscrown It was certainly one for the books! Chances are your daughter is way less affected by what happened than you are. I try to remind myself that even in my own childhood, I don’t remember each individual time my mom snapped at me or was stressed out. Sure, I recall some things, but I’m sure there was day to day stress that I am none the wiser of. But my mom, she’ll mention things like “I felt horrible when I took a nap in the afternoons when I was sick” and I’m like mom, I was just happy I got to watch a movie on the couch with you while you slept and me and dad brought you tea and took care of you. Kids are resilient! But as parents we tend to hang onto the guilt of things.

 

[katma]

@ajewelinhiscrown As much as it would be nice for every teaching moment to be like an episode of The Brady Bunch.. sometimes drastic measures need to be taken in the moment. The teaching can happen afterward once all parties involved have calmed down and everyone is safe. You did the right thing!

 

[ajewelinhiscrown]

@katma This is exactly what happened, drastic measures needed to be taken in the moment. Thank you.

 

[onya]

@ajewelinhiscrown Why did you feel bad? She could’ve died!

 

[ajewelinhiscrown]

@onya You’re absolutely right. I got mad. I asked her: “Are you stupid??” She’s actually quite intelligent, she was just acting totally irrationally in that moment, as small children tend to do. I apologized after everything had calmed down and reiterated how dangerous that was and how she could have been hurt or killed by an oncoming car.

 

[creepted]

@ajewelinhiscrown I've had several moments like this with all of my 4.
Being able to come to them after everyone has calmed is the perfect time for not just a teaching moment for safety but also on admiting when we are wrong and apologizing.

It feels awful, and its so easy to beat ourselves up for the mean things we say when we lose it, but its a really good opportunity to help our kids understand that we are all imperfect people who will screw up and what it looks like to take accountability for it.

 

[jakob92]

@ajewelinhiscrown If my kid bolted like that she wouldn’t be allowed to go out without a leash as a punishment. Teach her a lesson about if she’s going to act stupid she will be treated that way..

I’m seriousness though you did the right thing. I would’ve lost my mind. When I was a toddler this happened to my neighbour and my toddler self saved his life otherwise he would’ve been killed (car wasn’t stopping and speeding in a residential area according to my dad). Kids do get hit by cars. If they can’t realize this they do deserve to have their shit lost on them

 

[ajewelinhiscrown]

@jakob92 Wow. How incredibly scary that must have been! Thank you.

 

[ck90]

@ajewelinhiscrown Well done. Sometimes the right thing isn’t always what you wish it was.