What happens to poor sleepers who aren’t sleep trained?

[rushamania]

@citywolf one day. Sounds lovely and a lovely close relationship. 18 months here and "progressing", teething, etc etc

 

[alivebydeath]

@ebveloz In my experience, a sweet wonderful child is what happens. They don’t need as much support every night for the rest of childhood. You can lovingly help them develop independent sleep skills when they’re old enough to talk about feelings and fears and options and how they feel in the night and morning. I had so much fear about “what if I don’t fix their sleep” in infancy but it was just not a concern.

 

[soccergrl]

@ebveloz 19 MO - we did not sleep train, and I’ve always nursed to sleep for every nap and bedtime. I still nurse to sleep most nights. He’s been sleeping through the night since about 12 months (with some ups and downs for teething and illness). I usually always fed back to sleep when he would wake up at night.. we never had more than 2-3 wake ups per night though even in the early days.

While I’ve done most bedtimes, dad still could put him to sleep when needed and respond at night, although it would take a bit longer. Around 17 months, my husband started to be able to tell him goodnight, lay him down awake and walk out, and he would stay calm and fall asleep on his own.

He’s also been in daycare since 8 MO and never had any issues falling asleep there. They used to rub his back but I think now he just goes to sleep on his nap mat when they say it’s time. Falls asleep well for grandparents too.

All this to say- I did create a parent sleep association. I don’t think I could just lay him down as his many other caregivers can. But, in my experience, it didn’t create all the issues that are often described. He learned to connect sleep cycles on his own, fall asleep independently in many environments, takes lengthy naps, and sleeps through the night. My take is that good sleepers might just be good sleepers regardless of sleep training or not.

 

[gamebancadoithuongonline]

@soccergrl Just fyi feeding to sleep isn't great for their teeth, even breastfeeding. I used to feed my daughter to sleep until she was one but now I give her a cup downstairs, brush her teeth upstairs then we play with teddies until she falls to sleep.

 

[soccergrl]

@gamebancadoithuongonline I've heard this- and I can see this especially with bottle feeding. I've also heard from those in the lactation community that nursing to sleep does not increase risk for cavities because the milk doesn't pool by the teeth. I would like to find what the research says about this- it seems like this is a good starting point: https://www.karger.com/Article/Abstract/514502

 

[yytz6]

@ebveloz Sleep training is a relatively new invention. I am certain humans slept perfectly fine for the millenia before it.

 

[onthemoveto]

@yytz6 I’m not sure if we know that for sure, that parents never applied strategies to help their children sleep better in pre-recorded times… but yeah regardless kids will fall into their natural sleep patterns eventually.

 

[yytz6]

@onthemoveto Who is talking about pre-recorded time. I'm talking about before sleep training.

 

[marcoamorales]

@yytz6 Maybe they just didn’t have a term for it yet

 

[onthemoveto]

@yytz6 My main point is that sleep training is not necessarily a new invention. For all of human history there have been babies who sleep lighter/wake more often than others. Babies sleeping like crap and adults needing to get some rest isn’t new. So it’s not really a stretch to say that for all of human history, there have been waves of parents who have been looking for ways to help their babies sleep better.

 

[lovethechrist]

@ebveloz Hey my kiddo was a shit sleeper! Still is pretty low sleep needs kid which I think was half the struggle, we were trying to get him to sleep too much! We coslept (following SS7) which was a life saver, I couldn’t have gotten up every 2hours. Around 2 he started sleeping through the night most nights and close to three he’s pretty much always sleeping through the night. We had him in his own bed after 2 and I slept with him there. I still lay down and listen to a story with him. It’s only 15mins and he’s out and it’s such a peaceful time of night. And then I get up and go about my evening. Sometimes he’ll call out for me in the night and I’ll switch to his bed but most nights he sleeps through and I see him in the morning!

 

[yahwhshua]

@ebveloz We fed to sleep and responded to all night wakings, did not sleep train. Our kiddo slept through the night from about 20 months and goes to sleep in about 5-15mins after his bedtime routine.

 

[okieallday]

@ebveloz Anecdotal. I was born and raised in another country and sleep training was not a thing. In fact, I think I co-slept with my nannies from age 0-8 lol.

I’m a great sleeper now. I can fall asleep easily and wake up easily. I think some just sleep better than others and it has nothing to do with sleep training during babyhood.

 

[jabberwo0cky]

@okieallday People live what we know on this planet at least thousands of years so I don't really know why people now think sleep training is something what you must to do when it's something what is almost only done in US and from I think 80/90.

 

[okieallday]

@jabberwo0cky Yeah I think sleep training is more for the convenience of parents who can’t mind the baby all night, every night. I think it’s a product of people being so busy and independent here.

 

[earp]

@okieallday And the lack of mat leave. It's easier to tank a sleepless night if you're not working the next day and can nap throughout the day than if you have to be at a place of employment

 

[okieallday]

@earp Definitely. And another thing — childcare and labor are expensive in the US. In Asia, hiring a live-in nanny isn’t as expensive.

 

[wackwife23]

@ebveloz Kids don't need to be "sleep trained" to learn to sleep if that's what you're worried about. They all sleep eventually.

And then, if you're like me and my son, you have anxiety and develop insomnia, but that's completely different from learning to sleep independently.

 

[forexgames]

@ebveloz From my reading on the subject by 5 years there is no measurable difference between children who are sleep trained vs those who are not. source

Anecdotally, I sleep trained my first. She’s 4 now. For context I am actually a sleep walker (developed in my late twenties) so contact naps or co-sleeping are off the table for me as unsafe.

For her it was not a problem of waking multiple times a night, she’d been sleeping through the night since 8 weeks. It was the process of getting her to sleep initially that became untenable. Perhaps we hadn’t done enough “drowsy but awake” along the way but the only way she wanted to be soothed was being held until she was completely asleep. As we had to move her mattress lower and she got heavier it got harder and harder and would take 1-2 hours just to get her to stay asleep.

At 6 months we did CIO. She needed to learn how to put herself to sleep. Took 3-4 days but worked well for her. But it worked wonders for us. We didn’t dread the process of putting her to bed anymore. Now she’s in a twin bed and prefers to read books for 30 minutes after our bedtime routine.

From my perspective sleep training is a short term gain (1-2 years). As long term (lifetime) everything comes out in the wash. But that short term gain was worth it for me.

 

[ebveloz]

@forexgames Thank you for providing a source!