Pregnant with twins and devastated

[pinkdragon]

@faithinmet lol I thought it was something entirely different when I first started seeing it

 

[faithinmet]

@pinkdragon Female to male lmao

 

[pinkdragon]

@faithinmet I was so confused seeing it so much too lmao

 

[savingsouls4christ]

@coolguy123 My twin pregnancy was very much wanted- after a few rounds of iui. I was devastated when I realized what was going on at my first ultrasound . Cried the entire way home wondering if I’d ruined my life. I was worried about increased risks for medical complications during the pregnancy, money, my marriage. You name it I worried aboutit. We had a 2 year old who was wonderful and twins were not the plan. We had hoped for 2 kids total. I also wished I would miscarry one and went into every early ultrasound appointment holding my breath hoping for the opposite of what most people hope for. My boys were born feb of 2020 which made everything worse. They weren’t easy babies and they aren’t the easiest kids, but they are 4 and their bond with each other and their older brother is amazing. We are finally in the phase where the 3 of them can play together independently and have a great time. Our lives aren’t ruined. The most important thing is that my husband and I are 100% a team and we split responsibilities and always have. If your husband didn’t help much with your first now is the time to sit him down and talk through expectations. Sleep deprivation is a beast and a form of torture for a reason. Have a game plan (we took shifts overnight). I didn’t breastfeed because it was just too difficult with the 2 babies, neither of whom took to the breast and I didn’t have time to pump and care for them. We accepted help from anyone who offered at the beginning.

 

[ballon01234]

@coolguy123 Other people here have elaborated a lot more, but I just want to add - I used to take struggle with my singleton (2.5) but I find two further babies way easier, I go out and about with all of them on my own 1-2 times a week and it's mostly fine. I think the experience of having a baby really helps and you are way more laid back about everything

 

[inuyashapr]

@coolguy123 I felt exactly the same when we found out. Whatever you choose to do will be right for you.

I spent a lot of my twin pregnancy grieving and ill. I had to release basically all my expectations and control. I desperately wanted to feel excited and happy, and honestly I kindof didnt feel excited or happy until maybe the week before my twins came. We are 3 weeks postpartum now as a family of 5. I love my little twin babies and I know we made the right choice keeping them. I can't imagine having one and not the other, and I am excited to watch them grow with their big sister and find happiness in imagining our future.

But it was a hard road to get here. I had to give myself permission to not keep them in order to feel power in choosing to continue the pregnancy. Releasing control and expectations was the only thing that got me through. And tons of family support.

Your feelings are 10000% valid, and whatever you choose is right and okay. Good luck you are a good mom.

 

[leonidad]

@coolguy123 I have a 3.5 year old and 16 month old twins. It is absolutely terrifying at first. My 3.5 year old also is a HORRIBLE sleeper. But honestly, after the first 6 months my twins have been easier than she ever was. It’s an adjustment period for sure and those first 6 months are survival mode but it gets better, I promise. And we have so much fun now and they are the absolute best of friends. It’s so so overwhelming but it turns out okay.

 

[gstarry]

@coolguy123 Please don’t feel bad. I felt the same way. My twins are almost 1, and we already had 2 at home. I was on the fence about a 3rd so having 2 more was shocking - in the worst way.

Some days I still cry because I don’t know how we’re financially going to make it work but we have so far. And I love my little boy and girl so much. Everything we’ve had to give up and change has been worth it, and I keep reminding myself it’s all temporary. Some day they’ll be out of daycare! Someday they’ll be out of the house… haha.

It’s normal to feel like this - I really relate and you’re not alone. Having my twins has been the best and worst thing that’s ever happened sending you so much love!!

 

[iiifokaiii]

@coolguy123 Don’t feel too bad about it. When I first heard my ex wife and I were having twins, fear and anxiety consumed me. I was also being deployed a couple months later. I hoped for one to miscarry. They are 13 years old now, and honestly it wasn’t easy, but I’m glad they’re both here with me. They have an older sister who is only 1 year and 9 days older. I met them when they were 2 months old. Having twins is scary. Going from having 1 kid pre-deployment to coming home to 3 was a huge adjustment. It would be to anyone. Having 3 kids is tough too, because one always seems to be the odd one out. But they’re all each others’ best friends. At the end of the day, it’s going to be tough, but it is incredibly rewarding. Watching them grow together, but grow separately is truly amazing. I used to do all the food shopping with all 3 girls, and carry them up the stairs in our apartment. It’s tough, but believe me, you can do it.

 

[christina198585]

@coolguy123 I understand your panic. I had the same fears when I got pregnant with twins and I thought my life and body was ruined forever. You know what? My morning sickness lasted until I was 12-13 weeks pregnant, and then disappeared. I birthed them naturally when I was almost 36 weeks. The birth was undramatic. My body bounced back reasonably fast and six years later I look better than before since starting exercising.

My babies was bottle fed and kept on a schedule, and they slept through the night when they were 9 months.
I wish I knew that everything would be okay when I was pregnant. My anxiety wrecked the whole experience, but it all turned out fine. You got this, I believe in you!

 

[ryanmrozek]

@coolguy123 I was about as shocked as you are when I first went to the doctor. We live in a tiny one bedroom apartment in a HCOL area, we can absolutely not afford a bigger one. There is not even a place for a single stroller let alone a twin stroller. The part of the city we live in is so run down, people use IV drugs openly on the streets. We´ve had both used needles and human feces in our entryway/stairs. We don´t have an elevator, we will have to carry everything and everyone two flights of stairs to get to our apartment... and I also have an orthopedic precondition. Nobody knows how it will be affected by 25kg average expected weight gain. Also I should´t be lifting any heavy weights at all (>8kg). So funny. You get the idea.

It took me at least a week until I could honestly say to myself and my partner: I want to have both of those babies and I want to find ways to make it work. It took my partner longer and I have read of some other parents who took WAY longer. I am thankful to them for sharing their feelings. It made me feel more normal and okay. We are 12 weeks now. Maybe you´ll be getting to that point too.

 

[electric95]

@coolguy123 So, I had 4 miscarriages before my daughter, we needed metformin to carry her through the first trimester. We wanted one more and her pregnancy was horrendous, I had HG, and then when that started to subside at 32 weeks she dropped and I had severe pain. I just knew I for sure wanted her to have a sibling and to be done. We decided to try after she turned one and I got back on metformin, to our surprise we were already pregnant and at our 9 week scan saw twins. I cried, I was afraid I'd miscarry one or both - but aside from that I had all the same fears you did. I didn't even fully process or come to terms with the fact I was having 2 until I had them. My pregnancy was easier than my first up until the 3rd trimester and my twins are actually easier than my toddler was. You can't really know what baby(ies) you get til you get them. Being scared is ok - if it's already affecting your mental health I'm going to urge you to see a professional (I was already in therapy bc I had severe PPD/PPA with my first) it really helped me wrap my head around twins and find tons of resources like my local moms of multiple group which was pretty invaluable as I have no family and limited friends near by. My daughter is just over 3 and my twins are 19 months and we're in a really good place now, during that first year I couldn't see how beautiful it could be. I was scared during the pregnancy and not to sugar coat that first year was really hell on my mental health and my marriage. I am still working full time and so is my husband. We are fortunate to have found a nanny to come to us to watch the kids and while it's expensive we've figured it out. You can do this, it'll take a lot of planning but you can do it. I'm sending you so much love I remember feeling a lot how you did and it's ok you feel this way.

 

[jesusisright7]

@coolguy123 I’m so sorry. Twin pregnancy and raising twins can be a scary and daunting task. Many people here have felt your fears and you are not a horrible person for those thoughts. I can’t make promises about what pregnancy, labor and delivery, or childcare will look like, but offer you some solace in that we’ve all been there. Good or bad, you are not alone. Cry when you need to but just take it day by day for now. There’s no better a group of parents to have as support than twin parents best of luck momma & keep us updated if you can!