What’s worse.. c section recovery or being pregnant with twins?

@toniboykin84 We had 5 kids under 5, so our experience is probably comparable. Pregnancy was hell for my wife. Pinched nerves, edema, reflux, insomnia, extreme depression, nausea, and whatever else. Plus Braxton Hicks contractions for a month before delivery. She delivered the first three vaginally, but the twins had to come out by c-section.

She says "the first two weeks are rough. Then it gets better." The worst thing for her was that hospitals are very stringent with painkillers now, and so they only gave her enough for a few days. She had extreme, burning pain at the incision site each morning when she woke up. So much so that it was hard for her to walk. Also she wasn't allowed to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk, which was very hard for our 18 month-old who had just been shunted to the position of middle child.

Also her depression got worse post-partum until the antidepressants kicked in. It was super daunting to be so outnumbered. Even as a husband (with no history of mental illness) that didn't have to go through the physical trauma, I got a decent case of depression that lasted about a year and a half. It was hard to feel like a person when every minute at home was filmed with relentless chores. Not to mention with so many young kids, there is always someone screaming. It is soul grinding.

That said, it does get better. Our twins are two now. It is still very hard, but the glimmers of hope are starting to shine through. My first advice is to take as much help as you can get. You can't do this by yourself. It may feel like you're being imposition on the people around you, but they want to help. Get some free time with your spouse or by yourself as soon and as often as possible. You will be a better parent if you are not constantly burned out.

Teach your older two kids to be your "big helpers". Get them in the habit of running to grab things or putting stuff away as much as possible. Eventually they actually get a little helpful, and they feel more responsible for keeping things in order. Somewhat.

You have to establish a good schedule as early as possible, and stick to it the best you can. Try to encourage the twins to hold their own bottles. Once they can self-soothe, you won't have to be running around quite as much. We had a Snoo that helped one of the twins sleep. Try to batch your tasks as often as possible (e.g. feedings, diapers, baths) so you're only doing things "once".

Try to simplify as many other tasks wherever you can. Get a robot vacuum. Do grocery pickup. Maybe get into audiobooks, so you have some sort of escape. Lower your standards of how clean your house should be.

You're in for the hardest thing you've ever done. But it does get better. And the kids are pretty ok too, I guess
 
@toniboykin84 I was definitely in near constant unending pain when I was pregnant... but my c section recovery has been LONG. and pregnancy apparently left a long impression on my body in the form of a sprained pelvis.
 
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