What’s worse.. c section recovery or being pregnant with twins?

@toniboykin84 We had 5 kids under 5, so our experience is probably comparable. Pregnancy was hell for my wife. Pinched nerves, edema, reflux, insomnia, extreme depression, nausea, and whatever else. Plus Braxton Hicks contractions for a month before delivery. She delivered the first three vaginally, but the twins had to come out by c-section.

She says "the first two weeks are rough. Then it gets better." The worst thing for her was that hospitals are very stringent with painkillers now, and so they only gave her enough for a few days. She had extreme, burning pain at the incision site each morning when she woke up. So much so that it was hard for her to walk. Also she wasn't allowed to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk, which was very hard for our 18 month-old who had just been shunted to the position of middle child.

Also her depression got worse post-partum until the antidepressants kicked in. It was super daunting to be so outnumbered. Even as a husband (with no history of mental illness) that didn't have to go through the physical trauma, I got a decent case of depression that lasted about a year and a half. It was hard to feel like a person when every minute at home was filmed with relentless chores. Not to mention with so many young kids, there is always someone screaming. It is soul grinding.

That said, it does get better. Our twins are two now. It is still very hard, but the glimmers of hope are starting to shine through. My first advice is to take as much help as you can get. You can't do this by yourself. It may feel like you're being imposition on the people around you, but they want to help. Get some free time with your spouse or by yourself as soon and as often as possible. You will be a better parent if you are not constantly burned out.

Teach your older two kids to be your "big helpers". Get them in the habit of running to grab things or putting stuff away as much as possible. Eventually they actually get a little helpful, and they feel more responsible for keeping things in order. Somewhat.

You have to establish a good schedule as early as possible, and stick to it the best you can. Try to encourage the twins to hold their own bottles. Once they can self-soothe, you won't have to be running around quite as much. We had a Snoo that helped one of the twins sleep. Try to batch your tasks as often as possible (e.g. feedings, diapers, baths) so you're only doing things "once".

Try to simplify as many other tasks wherever you can. Get a robot vacuum. Do grocery pickup. Maybe get into audiobooks, so you have some sort of escape. Lower your standards of how clean your house should be.

You're in for the hardest thing you've ever done. But it does get better. And the kids are pretty ok too, I guess
 
@toniboykin84 I was definitely in near constant unending pain when I was pregnant... but my c section recovery has been LONG. and pregnancy apparently left a long impression on my body in the form of a sprained pelvis.
 
@marie12345 I wanted to say this too, a lot of my recovery pain was due to the twin pregnancy itself. 10wks pp and my ribs are still bruised to where I can't lift my arms without pain
 
@toniboykin84 Both babies were transverse so I had a lot of pain prior to the c-sec but during the procedure I felt A LOT of tugging in that area. It was my 3rd c-sec but for sure the first time I've ever had that pain
 
@marie12345 Yup, 3.5 years later I'm still having SI problems and lower back problems. Hoping PT gets things back together, but the pregnancy has had much longer effects than the delivery.
 
@toniboykin84 There is still time for twin a to move. My twin b didn’t go head down until around 35 weeks so they can move at a late stage.
I haven’t had a section but I had an episiotomy and double forceps delivery for my twins and even the recovery from that was much better than late pregnancy!
 
@toniboykin84 I was on magnesium and confined to the bed with a catheter for 24 hours after delivery at 36&2 due to preeclampsia. The recovery from my c-section was STILL better than limping around measuring 39 weeks pregnant since 6 weeks before, and I couldn’t even start walking around for 24 hours.

Whatever the anesthesiologist put in my spinal anesthesia for pain (something that started with a “C” I think), lasted for 24 hours and it was GOOD. After that I took Narco every 4 hours and Ibuprofen every 6 for any breakthrough pain. So if you can, take what they’re offering and try to stay ahead of the pain for the first few days. It wasn’t until the third day that I started to stretch out the time between the Narco to see what I felt like.

The first time they got me out of bed was still a little painful, but more stiff and shaky than anything. Sitting down/getting up off the toilet was the worst of the manageable pain I ever experienced. My best advice is to use your quads to lift yourself on and off, while trying not to move your upper half. I also took the stool softeners my doctor prescribed, and my first poo was no big deal.

Overall, I was only ever in a moderate amount of pain, and never bruised or really swelled around my incision. My doctor used staples instead of stitches, which apparently helps things to drain compared to stitches. I definitely realize that my experience is not everyone’s, but 10/10, would do it again!
 
@toniboykin84 I didn't have a C-section, so I'm no use there, but do you have access to a pool where you can water walk? That was the only thing that helped my pelvic pain 3rd trimester. Best of luck!!
 
@toniboykin84 I was also pregnant with di/di boys, worked 40+ a week on my feet & with a 5 year old. Sleep was terrible, I was sick all the time in the beginning. However, I only made it to 32 weeks. I ended up finding out after 10 days beginning deathly ill at home & follwed by 7 days in the hospital that I had an auto immune disease. A month after that I went into spontaneous delivery which ended up in an elective c section. I had a previous c section with my daughter & it was traumatic. This 2nd one, I was up and walking the next day despite my condition with the auto immune. I kept my pain well managed and tried to get my disease managed. Both my boys stayed in the NICU so I had to recover at home, slept in the recliner. I was able to recover 3 weeks before my first boy came home. I have Ulcerative Colitis very severe so besides racing to the bathroom which I was doing before (now 3 weeks post op colon removed), It's definitely being pregnant the recovery for me just c section was was easier lol.
 
@toniboykin84 When I was recovering from my c section that delivered my twins I had a nearly 2yo and a newly 4yo. As others have said, the first week is the roughest, with day 2 being the worst day for me, but after the first week the healing was quite rapid. Accept all the help you can, walk as much as you can, wear a support band over your scar, and take stool softener! The recovery is definitely easier than the third trimester was. Your bladder will be so happy, and your back and joints.

Good luck! My twins are 6 months now and the tiny one is crawling everywhere and the big one has two teeth and life is feeling a bit more normal. It’s intense but it does get better and there IS light as the end of the seemingly eternal tunnel!
 
@toniboykin84 Supporting all the comments that pregnancy was MUCH more painful and difficult than the C section recovery. I was shocked at how great I felt immediately after delivery without all that weight holding me down.

The debilitating pelvic pain- gone.

The brutal heartburn- gone.

I will say the one thing that really got me post delivery was terrible gas pain. I wasn’t prepared for that. I was really good at staying ahead of pain meds for the incision but what I wish I had known to start was some kind of gas relief medicine.
 
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