@pauldstar Aww no I’m sorry to hear that. Any advice you can give at all or anything that’s helped even a little?
I’m 8 weeks pregnant with twins and have a 10 week old baby
@agape49 I had to learn to let things go, like a lot of my standards of cleanliness. But I also needed to know specifically what helps keep me calm and healthy, which involves a clean house and a certain level of organization. It’s very difficult to balance those two things and you need your partner on board with understanding your needs regarding the household chores.
Sleep is the number one priority at first. If you can scrounge up the money, pay for a helper for a few hours when you can and go sleep. Sleep is important for your partner as well, I would say one of the biggest conflicts I had with my husband was his refusal to nap or recognize the importance of it. It takes priority over all other things, pretty much all other self care for the first 3-6 months. The way you care for the children should be to prioritize sleep imo. Taking shifts helpful, we did shifts at night, and you can do morning shifts on the weekend as well. It can be way easier to do 4 hours with all the kids and then 4 hours in a quiet calm dark room than it is to do 8 hours with two parents, depending on the situation. You also need to be flexible and adapt as y’all’s needs change.
Eventually I realized my body was depleted of minerals and it was negatively affecting my mental health. I started taking magnesium and this helped me tremendously with anxiety and anger. Do not skip your vitamins and nutrition when pregnant with the twins and after. Exercise, as much as I hate it, and time outside, were the two biggest things that improved my mental health and energy. Time outside also helps the kids. I’d say getting out in the morning makes our whole day better, 1-2 hours outside either walking or at a playground is critical to our happiness on a day to day basis. Even if it’s hard to manage the equipment. Expect everything to take longer than you’d think it should snd that will lessen travel/getting out of the house anxiety.
Ymmv,this is just my experience.
Sleep is the number one priority at first. If you can scrounge up the money, pay for a helper for a few hours when you can and go sleep. Sleep is important for your partner as well, I would say one of the biggest conflicts I had with my husband was his refusal to nap or recognize the importance of it. It takes priority over all other things, pretty much all other self care for the first 3-6 months. The way you care for the children should be to prioritize sleep imo. Taking shifts helpful, we did shifts at night, and you can do morning shifts on the weekend as well. It can be way easier to do 4 hours with all the kids and then 4 hours in a quiet calm dark room than it is to do 8 hours with two parents, depending on the situation. You also need to be flexible and adapt as y’all’s needs change.
Eventually I realized my body was depleted of minerals and it was negatively affecting my mental health. I started taking magnesium and this helped me tremendously with anxiety and anger. Do not skip your vitamins and nutrition when pregnant with the twins and after. Exercise, as much as I hate it, and time outside, were the two biggest things that improved my mental health and energy. Time outside also helps the kids. I’d say getting out in the morning makes our whole day better, 1-2 hours outside either walking or at a playground is critical to our happiness on a day to day basis. Even if it’s hard to manage the equipment. Expect everything to take longer than you’d think it should snd that will lessen travel/getting out of the house anxiety.
Ymmv,this is just my experience.
@agape49 My singleton is 11 months older than my twins so a little more gap than you will have. I’m going to be honest it was extremely difficult as my singleton was and is super chill but my twins were and are very difficult but they’re 5 and 4 and 4 now and while its still crazy they’re all the BEST of friends and play together constantly. Mine are all boys. Take your vitamins and take good care of yourself now and accept ALL OF THE HELP that you can get. Despite how difficult it was when they were younger my husband and I always tell each other how glad we are that they’re so close together now and we wouldn’t have it any other way.
@tiklloooo My daughter has been an angel so far! Only one bad night in 10 weeks and she sleeps like 11:30-7:30 straight through most nights. I warned my husband it was a trap so we’d have another and they would be a terror. Hopefully it’s not 
I’d really hated the idea of having a nanny or anything just bc it wasn’t something anyone could afford when I was growing up and there’s the whole pressure shame about having someone other than family help raise your kids but I think it’s definitely something we’ll have to look into with 3 under 1 and 2 big dogs. Thank you so much for easing my nerves. I’m glad they’re best friends 
I’d really hated the idea of having a nanny or anything just bc it wasn’t something anyone could afford when I was growing up and there’s the whole pressure shame about having someone other than family help raise your kids but I think it’s definitely something we’ll have to look into with 3 under 1 and 2 big dogs. Thank you so much for easing my nerves. I’m glad they’re best friends crownprince
New member
@tiklloooo Same gap here. My singleton is also pretty chill (less now that he’s nearing 4) but all the play so well and truly are great friends already at almost 3 and 4. It’s hard but we don’t know anything different. We live that we go through each stage twice and are done with it relatively quickly.
jordansgotfaith
New member
@agape49 Omg congrats!! I just have twins, but it’s the biggest blessing in my life. Luckily you have experience with the one baby so you’re not going completely blind. Honesty after my twin pregnancy I really felt like I could accomplish anything, you find a way. You and your husband will be the best team for your growing fam!
@jordansgotfaith Thank you!! Congrats on your twins I’m not sure how it’ll be with 3 under 1 but people have triplets, quads etc so hopefully we’ll figure things out
I’m not sure how it’ll be with 3 under 1 but people have triplets, quads etc so hopefully we’ll figure things out
@jackie789 Thank you so much! I am definitely terrified haha. Mainly anxious bc twin newborns will be hard enough but I already have my wee baby to worry about. I just don’t want any of them to miss out on anything
chapmaned24
New member
congrats!@chapmaned24 Our daughter will still be the year above. In Scotland it’s March-Feb bdays for each year 
thank you!
thank you!katieainge
New member
@agape49 I have Irish twins (their birthdays are a day apart, they’re exactly 12 months apart). I only have 2 so I can’t speak to what it’s like having 3 but I just wanted to chime in and say that whatever you imagine it to be, it will be better. When I found out I was pregnant again so soon postpartum I was freaking out.
I’m not gonna lie, the first few months are chaotic af and feel like your world suddenly flipped upside down. However, my kids are now 20 months and 8 months old and it’s been SIGNIFICANTLY easier as they get more independent. Just don’t be shy to outsource as much help as you can afford / can get. I prioritized sacrificing other things in order to afford help for the kids and it’s made a huge difference for me. Good luck and congrats !!
I’m not gonna lie, the first few months are chaotic af and feel like your world suddenly flipped upside down. However, my kids are now 20 months and 8 months old and it’s been SIGNIFICANTLY easier as they get more independent. Just don’t be shy to outsource as much help as you can afford / can get. I prioritized sacrificing other things in order to afford help for the kids and it’s made a huge difference for me. Good luck and congrats !!
crownprince
New member
@agape49 Hello! You beat me by a few weeks but I also got pregnant with twins when I had a 3.5 month old. Twins born 19 days before his first birthday. It was wild but the twin pregnancy went fast since I was busy soaking up my first baby knowing it wouldn’t be long. I had a scheduled c section and went straight to formula feeding for the twins. I can’t say the last 3 years have been easy (twins turn 3 next month) but it’s manageable. I quit working a month before I delivered the twins at almost 37 weeks. My husband had one month paternity leave. I said yes to all help if it worked for me. I take breaks anytime I can (leaving during nap time while all three sleep just to be alone). Trade off weekends away with my husband so we can both get breaks with friends. Happy to chat.
@crownprince Thank you!!! I was already planning a career break for a year. I’d been accepted to do my MBA at St Andrews uni this year but I don’t think I’ll be able to do that and have kids I tried breastfeeding as much and as long as I could with my daughter but I really struggled despite my efforts so I might save myself the mental and physical hell and go straight to formula too. I’m so glad to hear from someone who’s experienced this. We haven’t told anyone yet due to my previous loss with twins but I know they’ll think we’re nuts haha
I tried breastfeeding as much and as long as I could with my daughter but I really struggled despite my efforts so I might save myself the mental and physical hell and go straight to formula too. I’m so glad to hear from someone who’s experienced this. We haven’t told anyone yet due to my previous loss with twins but I know they’ll think we’re nuts hahacrownprince
New member
@agape49 I cannot imagine getting my MBA until the twins were two. I felt like it took me two full years to get through back to back pregnancies and my hormones back to normal. Maybe you could do it after that if you have dependable daycare that is affordable and the drive.
I did have a belly button hernia that I got repaired a year ago and that’s helped my body heal over all strength wise. I did not take it easy after either of my c sections and I should have. It’s hard when you have lots of babies to take care of. I also struggled to breastfeed my first and just knew I didn’t need the added pressure postpartum. It also helped that anyone could feed the babies.
People thought we were crazy too but it’s not like we did it on purpose. Kinda puts your sex life out there which is weird. Anyway, hope things go smoothly with your pregnancy. One minute, then hour and then day at a time was how I kept pushing they first year or so.
I did have a belly button hernia that I got repaired a year ago and that’s helped my body heal over all strength wise. I did not take it easy after either of my c sections and I should have. It’s hard when you have lots of babies to take care of. I also struggled to breastfeed my first and just knew I didn’t need the added pressure postpartum. It also helped that anyone could feed the babies.
People thought we were crazy too but it’s not like we did it on purpose. Kinda puts your sex life out there which is weird. Anyway, hope things go smoothly with your pregnancy. One minute, then hour and then day at a time was how I kept pushing they first year or so.
@crownprince Because we’d wanted another child fairly close in age I was hoping I could do it this year, even if I was pregnant when I finished. Think it’s just far too much pressure to do with twins coming though. I was planning on staying in St Andrews for the year but hopefully I’ll still have the chance to before the kids go to school.
Ahh that’s sucks! I hope you’re okay now. I didn’t take it easy after my daughter at all but I’d prepared myself for a much worse recovery so after she was born I was just shocked that I felt relatively okay.
Thank you
Ahh that’s sucks! I hope you’re okay now. I didn’t take it easy after my daughter at all but I’d prepared myself for a much worse recovery so after she was born I was just shocked that I felt relatively okay.
Thank you
@agape49 I’m in a very similar situation, but opposite. My twins are 4 months old and I’m pregnant (hopefully with one - ultrasound is tomorrow). If I calculated correctly, this one’s due date will be a few weeks before the twins’ first birthday. This was definitely NOT planned and I’m fluctuating with how I feel about it, so it was nice reading your post - I’m hoping to absorb some of your positivity!
@rcpolk The first few years will be so hard but people have managed multiple kids for generations! I’ve heard it’s easier when they have some independence and are a little older. My hope was for two kids close together like my brother & I. Gonna need to get a new car to fit them and minivans aren’t common at all in Scotland. Plane seats, rollercoasters, been thinking all day of all the things that will be uneven now haha. Congrats and good luck
@agape49 Haha I’ve been thinking about the same things. We’re in Africa for my husband’s job and cars big enough for three car seats are not common in the country we’re in. I’m not sure what we’ll do about that. I’ve also been thinking about plane seats - things are definitely easier as a family of 4. You’re right though, I’m trying to think past the next few years and what our family will look like when we’re older and it feels right with a third being so close in age. Don’t get me wrong - I’m still panicking! But I’m slowly starting to come around to this not being the disaster it felt like a couple weeks ago.