PLEASE ADD TO MY LIST OF THINGS YOU'D TELL YOUR YOUNGER SELF

[vaninha_cris]

@roninjedi Sorry I have kids of my own and would vastly prefer wearing a T shirt and jeans to the office.

 

[roninjedi]

@vaninha_cris Would you trade it for extreme volatility, instability, regular 60 hour work weeks, getting laid off every four to five years, and being aged out by 45?

 

[vaninha_cris]

@roninjedi I mean I only go in twice a week now so the rest of the time it’s PJs

Also closing in on that aging out thing…

 

[daniel108]

@zina200045 Dear God for girls PLEASE start telling them when they're young that their value doesn't lie in how they look. I was only ever told I was beautiful my entire life while my sisters were called smart or kind and I can't tell you how much it's fucked me up as I have started to age. I know it sounds like an "oh boo hoo" situation but it's landed me in extensive therapy because I feel when my looks go I will have nothing to offer anyone.

Editing to add yes sorry I am a mom but the advice stands!

 

[amy35669]

@daniel108 I mostly try to lurk here, but I feel like stuff like this is so important to impart on girls that I shared something along the same vein.

Looks (and being "nice/polite") are not more important than confidence (and safety). Girls need to know their worth isn't tied to their appearance, and it means so much hearing it from the men in their lives too.

 

[daniel108]

@amy35669 Hear, hear!!

 

[zina200045]

@daniel108 I'm very big on this with my little girl. I believe that building an ego lays the foundation for future resilience so I never miss an opportunity to tell her that she's strong, smart, capable AND beautiful. In fact, I've created a bit of a monster.

She'll stomp into the room carrying something too heavy for her, drop it at my feet and go, "I'm SO strong." then she'll flex and walk out like a little gym bro.

 

[thehunted]

@daniel108 This is huge! My merits were always overlooked or overshadowed by my looks. I got straight A's all through high school and it was still mostly "you're so pretty". Something I did absolutely no work for was somehow more valuable than things I worked my ass off for?! Infuriating. I acted out a ton in my 20's because of people's obsession with my looks.

 

[rencal]

@daniel108 I keep on saying this. I call my daughter brave, strong and so on, all my family does is call her pretty..

 

[electron7]

@daniel108 My cousin and I were the same age (almost like twins) and she was so beautiful... everyone rememberd us that she is beautiful and I am not, bUt aT LeASt yOu'Re SmArT.

Well, I stopped caring about my appearance at all - there is no way that I could ever be beautiful next to her. Retrospectively I know that was the best outcome it could have for me, considering that I could have cared tooo much about it.

It helped me in my career, but when I look at photos of myself I get sad that I never saw that I was a beautiful young woman. Walked around in black shirts and jeans, never wearing dresses or learning how to dress (I still struggle with that one). However, it fucked up my cousin even more. She had ED, was always sad that she is dumb and struggled with her career.

Please don't compare girls (and probably also boys) like that. It hurts them, even if it's a "compliment".

 

[zina200045]

@oscarwebb1973 Work ethic! Something that escaped my parents so I had to learn it on my own which is tough.

 

[theenergy]

@zina200045 Ask for help.

 

[preachdude]

@zina200045 Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.

Gentlemen, I cannot believe I'm the first person to make this joke in here.

I'll... See myself out.

 

[zina200045]

@preachdude I love that piece and it was the inspiration for my list. I was about 13 when that came out and it's all come true.

 

[jozymba]

@preachdude Don't congratulate yourself too much..

 

[inneedofhim]

@preachdude Can’t believe I scrolled this far to find this and sunscreen ain’t no joke. Wear sunscreen

 

[treyd]

@zina200045 Don't be afraid to fail. Too many people never even try something new because of that fear and always regret it later on.

 

[rebecca7]

@treyd I was always shamed for my failures by my parents so this hits hard. Trying to show my boys that mistakes happen. What is more important than avoiding failure, is embracing it and making the appropriate corrections to prevent it in the future.

Edit: let your kids fail (within reason). This will help them develop the skills needed to learn and grow from the failure.

 

[benjacornish]

@zina200045 My younger self would not at all believe me, but I'd still tell him that time really does heal all wounds, and you're not too broken to be a good dad.

 

[jusvapor]

@zina200045

1. Take school seriously.
2. You’re capable of way more than you think.
3. Save money.
4. Invest money.