My OBGYN laughed at me when I said I was OAD

[arseniusthesilent]

@billync3 This is an excellent perspective, thank you for sharing

 

[hkra]

@arseniusthesilent Regardless of your "reason" for being OAD, if you make a decision which doesn't affect others, they shouldn't comment on it. I had an amazing birth, very quick, no drugs, I did tear but it healed well, and I'm OAD. The doctor shouldn't laugh regardless

 

[someorder2]

@arseniusthesilent The ob doing my c-section and everyone in the or also chuckled when I said I was never doing this again. They all laughed and someone said see you in two years. I also happened to be 39yo. At the time. Like why even ask me? Such a dumb question to ask at all much less that exact moment.

 

[mitch9319]

@arseniusthesilent Maternity doctors all said “you’ll have another”.

 

[jason1234]

@arseniusthesilent Saying “Is my pain funny to you?” was perfect. Good on you.

 

[knowing]

@arseniusthesilent Good for you for responding the way you did!

 

[vendetta99]

@arseniusthesilent Before we started trying to get pregnant, my husband and I decided we were OAD. It’s how we pictured our family. Fast forward to my first postpartum visit to the OB and the topic of birth control came up. When I mentioned my husband would be getting a vasectomy, my doctor tried to talk me out of it. He said people change their mind all the time. Needless to say my husband went forward with his vasectomy 3 months postpartum. No regrets and it’s a huge relief not having to worry about various birth control methods failing.

 

[debarktango]

@arseniusthesilent Mine (who has 2 kids) said, “that’s great! When are you going to schedule a vasectomy?”

 

[metal4life]

@arseniusthesilent It’s not the labor and delivery pain that makes us a OAD family. I was lucky to manage my pain myself with my 6hr labor. That I could totally do that again. I cannot go through the hormonal and emotional/mental health hellscape that was my life from about 2.5 years PP until almost 5 years PP. Nope Nope Nope you could not pay me enough for that crap. I like having clarity, minimal or normal anxiety and not stuck in bed depressed all day thanks to the hormone swing.

 

[kayeban]

@arseniusthesilent Sigh. An obgyn who doesn’t support you to be in control of your own reproductive choices really needs to check in with herself.

Incidentally if your breastfeeding you might want to check out the appropriateness of estrogen as it does impact supply for some people, and also transfers to milk (as with everything it’s a cost benefit analysis — personally I’m waiting as I’ve had supply issues in the past).

Pelvic PT has been great. Good luck!

 

[rencal]

@arseniusthesilent gross.

 

[popsey37]

@arseniusthesilent I really like your responses to him. No one deserves to be laughed at :-/

 

[kevin_01]

@arseniusthesilent This is why I love my OBGYN. She gives me all the options and her recommendation and then says “whatever you want”. When I went in (before having my child) for terrible PMS she was like “Well, I can give you birth control pills, an antidepressant, a referral to a psychologist, a referral to an endocrinologist, a list of nutritional supplements that may help, or I can remove your ovaries. Whatever you want.”

 

[arseniusthesilent]

@kevin_01 She sounds excellent! My Dr. Made all the appropriate referrals and he is excellent at what he does and 95% of the time I enjoy our conversations. I think what happened there was representative of society’s general viewpoint of OAD

 

[agman00]

@kevin_01 this is so cool

 

[fiollent]

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[rocklee]

@arseniusthesilent I understand it might've felt annoying for you in the moment because you're dealing with the negative physical and emotional experiences of just having given birth, but I don't think this is too big of a deal. He only in that moment happened to laugh out loud, because he likely HAS experienced many many times that people say "never again" and then go back on it. He didn't minimise your experience, or say something like "you're definitely going to change your mind" or try to convince you to do so, etcetera.

Especially since you say he's a great doctor, don't blow this out of proportion. Unfortunately there will be plenty of genuinely malevolent people disrespecting your OAD choices in the future.

 

[arseniusthesilent]

@rocklee Yeah I’m not switching doctors, but it’s disheartening to feel like no one believes you when you state your intentions.

 

[alexd97]

@arseniusthesilent I think a lot of women probably do change their mind lol but I feel the same right now and my baby six month old!

 

[gr263]

@arseniusthesilent Nice answer!