imdreaming
New member
@arseniusthesilent Bestie get thems REMOVED! That’s a tubal. That’s what I did! The only way I can carry now is through IVF and I do not have the money to do that even if I wanted to.
My OBGYN laughed at me when I said I was OAD
- Thread starter arseniusthesilent
- Start date
@arseniusthesilent Not to pry but why does he need time to be "ready"? Had one last year and all the discomfort I felt was maybe for a day it felt like a small child hit my groin, but thats it. It not even a surgery, its a "procedure". Everyone whos one and done should do it. Women have to bare a child, its the least a man can do to not have any more.
@evilbeans My one and only is 27 years old. I have never forgotten the trauma and destruction to my body.
techie4christ
New member
@arseniusthesilent Weighing in on the scar tissue thing- I had stubborn scar tissue on a second degree perineal tear. Time and estrogen cream did help but what made a HUGE difference was scar tissue massage in pelvic floor PT (my PT also taught me how to do it on myself so I did that daily- during a hot shower helps). Happy to say it does not bother me AT ALL anymore. And mine was so bad that it was still uncomfortable to sit. Hang in there! 
arseniusthesilent
New member
@techie4christ Ugh thank god you shared this lol it’s been brutal but thankfully I start PFT in a couple of weeks so this is really encouraging!
@arseniusthesilent I also had similar issues. I did the estrogen cream and the PFT, but in the end it took good old time. About 15 months for me to start feeling “normal” down there again. My daughter is 20 months old and I’m still dealing with some remaining scar tissue though.
techie4christ
New member
@techie4christ I had a very bad tear in a somewhat unusual place, and I think that lent to the stubborn scar tissue. But yes. How people do this twice, three times (or more) I cannot fathom.
techie4christ
New member
techie4christ
New member
@arseniusthesilent Yes, it’s something that you can get to heal completely without long term issues! I acknowledge how bad it sucks but it will get better! I would walk out of PT more comfortable than I walked in after she did the scar tissue massage. It is a huge relief!
maryannmaria
New member
@arseniusthesilent Scar tissue massage is a literal miracle. I had such bad internal scarring from my cesarean that I couldn’t sleep on my left side even four months later. I was convinced they had left something inside me or I had internal bleeding or something, but nope. Just really bad scar tissue. Physical therapy should be a must for the postpartum phase.
katrina2017
New member
@arseniusthesilent My OB did something similar when I said I wasn't going to have more while I was still pregnant. I literally knew, before I got pregnant, I was only going to have one (I mean, unless it was twins...), and I have not said otherwise since. My kid is now 1 and I still plan to not have more. They just brush us all off like we are all the same. Hmph
underdog_crusader
New member
@katrina2017 I was very much the same. Originally childfree but realized one could be nice and knew even before I was pregnant I was only doing this once.
15 months on, I’m now fantasizing daily about getting my tubes tied. I’ve never even felt a slight twitch of wanting more — idk who these people are that they desire more than one but I am 110% confident I am not one of them. And I’ve had the experience of pregnancy, delivery and postpartum so I’m not ignorant to process lol.
15 months on, I’m now fantasizing daily about getting my tubes tied. I’ve never even felt a slight twitch of wanting more — idk who these people are that they desire more than one but I am 110% confident I am not one of them. And I’ve had the experience of pregnancy, delivery and postpartum so I’m not ignorant to process lol.
notsure411400
New member
@arseniusthesilent Wtf. Like why even ask the question at all if you’re just going to not believe the answer!????
@arseniusthesilent I hate how when a person announces that they’re OAD, people automatically assume that they aren’t serious and will change their mind.
(TW: pregnancy loss) My pregnancy was easy but after suffering a miscarriage and a chemical pregnancy in the past, I spent my entire third pregnancy afraid that I’d lose my son. Checking for blood in the toilet after using it, checking for blood when I wiped, over analyzing every cramp and pain. I could never fully allow myself to believe I was going to be a mother until he was on my chest after labor. Also, my baby was born full term weighing 4lbs 5oz and has since been diagnosed with multiple birth defects (all of which were missed during routine ultrasounds). He sees multiple therapists and specialists, is already on schedule for surgeries, and can’t even go to daycare because he has fragile lungs and I’ve been told by a lung specialist that even a cold could make him very sick. He’s 5 months old and an absolute ray of sunshine but it is highly possible that he has a genetic disorder. He has genetic testing underway and until the results come back, I’m not sure what to expect for the future as far as mental and physical development goes.
I love my son with all my heart but it can all be stressful and and overwhelming. My son had an unexpected month long NICU stay after being born and I can’t risk ever doing that again. Also the sleep deprivation in the beginning, which was made worse by the multiple weekly doctor’s appointments. And despite the fact that he is high maintenance as far as health goes, he has a really calm demeanor and is a good sleeper now all on his own, and I’m afraid that a second baby may not be so calm. I can’t deal with a special needs child and a new baby who could also possibly be special needs as well, or even non special needs but high energy. Of course, my second child may be calm tempered as well, but they may also not be be so why take the risk?
I feel okay with him being my only one because the cons outweigh the pros for me but if I’m being honest, I do feel pressured to have another. Daddy wants to try for a girl in the future and I do have family members who are telling me my son needs a sibling in the future.
Sorry for the rant.
(TW: pregnancy loss) My pregnancy was easy but after suffering a miscarriage and a chemical pregnancy in the past, I spent my entire third pregnancy afraid that I’d lose my son. Checking for blood in the toilet after using it, checking for blood when I wiped, over analyzing every cramp and pain. I could never fully allow myself to believe I was going to be a mother until he was on my chest after labor. Also, my baby was born full term weighing 4lbs 5oz and has since been diagnosed with multiple birth defects (all of which were missed during routine ultrasounds). He sees multiple therapists and specialists, is already on schedule for surgeries, and can’t even go to daycare because he has fragile lungs and I’ve been told by a lung specialist that even a cold could make him very sick. He’s 5 months old and an absolute ray of sunshine but it is highly possible that he has a genetic disorder. He has genetic testing underway and until the results come back, I’m not sure what to expect for the future as far as mental and physical development goes.
I love my son with all my heart but it can all be stressful and and overwhelming. My son had an unexpected month long NICU stay after being born and I can’t risk ever doing that again. Also the sleep deprivation in the beginning, which was made worse by the multiple weekly doctor’s appointments. And despite the fact that he is high maintenance as far as health goes, he has a really calm demeanor and is a good sleeper now all on his own, and I’m afraid that a second baby may not be so calm. I can’t deal with a special needs child and a new baby who could also possibly be special needs as well, or even non special needs but high energy. Of course, my second child may be calm tempered as well, but they may also not be be so why take the risk?
I feel okay with him being my only one because the cons outweigh the pros for me but if I’m being honest, I do feel pressured to have another. Daddy wants to try for a girl in the future and I do have family members who are telling me my son needs a sibling in the future.
Sorry for the rant.
eliasandholli
New member
@arseniusthesilent This is what every single nurse at the hospital said to me during L&D and on the mommy ward. They all laughed and said “that’s what they all say”. Like ok. I had the absolute worse hospital experience so even if I wasn’t OAD I’d never go back there. They were something else. I can’t stand when people think they know better than you.
@arseniusthesilent Sounds like you need a new OB.
kingdomkings
New member
@arseniusthesilent I’m glad you pushed back on that.
captainrogers20
New member
@arseniusthesilent My OB had a similar reaction, then at my next annual told me I should be pregnant by now. I fired him. 
@arseniusthesilent I just want to tag in as an autistic person who is regularly misunderstood when trying to communicate.
Some people laugh as a way to try and relate to your pain and struggle or an attempt at commorodity.
Like the social equivalent of saying "living the dream" and both chuckling when you ask a worker how they're doing on the clock lol.
Obviously you know your doctor and this circumstance best, I just wanted to offer some solace in that it may not have been him finding your pain funny. High intelligence does have a correlation with empathy so it could have been an "I hear ya" laugh.
Either way I'm sorry for your pain and uncomfortable visit
I hope you get to feeling better soon
Some people laugh as a way to try and relate to your pain and struggle or an attempt at commorodity.
Like the social equivalent of saying "living the dream" and both chuckling when you ask a worker how they're doing on the clock lol.
Obviously you know your doctor and this circumstance best, I just wanted to offer some solace in that it may not have been him finding your pain funny. High intelligence does have a correlation with empathy so it could have been an "I hear ya" laugh.
Either way I'm sorry for your pain and uncomfortable visit
I hope you get to feeling better soon