@irisnicole8405 Of course the day before I was going to leave my baby overnight for the first time with my mom, she was acting a little iffy. I called the nurse line to discuss her symptoms and see if we should come in. I told the nurse I was being overly cautious because we were about to go on an overnight and leave babes with my mom. She asked if my mom had permission to bring my daughter in and seek treatment without me. I said yes of course and she’s actually legally in charge if my husband and I are … gone. She said she’d make a note on my file that my mom is allowed to bring her in and get medicine, treatment, etc.
There are definitely steps between nothing and the emergency room/calling 911. That said, my husband and I are both 100% sure she’d never take our daughter in and not tell us or even give her medicine at home or from the pediatrician without asking us, so I’d have no problem filling out the form if it made her feel better about babysitting. But the fact that your MIL is giving medicine without telling you would bother me. In your specific case, I wouldn’t sign the document. I also wouldn’t be comfortable with someone watching my child who gave me this concern, so maybe that’s something to think about.
@irisnicole8405 My mom and mil have medical authorizations for my kids because they are our main form of childcare. They both taken my kids to urgent care for things like ear infections. They are both nurses and I trust them.
I don’t trust your mil based on what you’ve written though. I would worry she’d go behind your back and tell you.
@irisnicole8405 I have it on file with our pediatrician who is allowed to bring my kid in for appointments/seek treatment if need while in their care. However I 100% trust these people to keep me 100% informed. Even when they know my kid gets specific medication daily they still wait for my confirmation of dose and time.
Shes already proven that you can’t trust her with medication. I wouldn’t give her something that would allow her to take your kid to whatever dr she wants
@irisnicole8405 I’ve given this to my mom, however we’re all healthcare and not in any position where we can easily drop everything and leave in an emergency and she watches my boys on days my husband and I both work. My in laws do NOT get this because I don’t trust them near as much and my husband agrees.
@irisnicole8405 Definitely do not. There is an ulterior motive here. If your husband does not see the issue, he is complicit. I would honestly try to find other care for your child, so that you are in no way reliant on a MIL like that
@irisnicole8405 Hard pass. Call your pediatricians office to make sure, but if she ever NEEDS to take your daughter in an she isn't on a form they should have a protocol for that. For example, the office where I worked could take a verbal authorization from a parent if two employees heard the approval over the phone.
If you don't trust her not to take advantage of it, she doesn't need the form or access to her medical records. Are you and your husband on the same page with this? Are y'all prepared to potentially find alternative childcare if MIL keeps pushing?
@irisnicole8405 I would absolutely not give her the form, and I would be looking at alternative childcare. I know it is hard. My parents watch our 9mo three days a week, which allows us to skip daycare for now and that is so nice - but if you can swing it I would find something else even if it costs. I’m sorry you have to deal with this!
@irisnicole8405 All of the medical authorization forms I’ve filled out have you check off what the intended person is allowed to do. Schedule appointments, make medical decisions, access medical records, etc.
When I have someone watch my children for an extended period of time, I leave them with a handwritten note stating they are authorized to make medical decisions until I am present and able to do so.
It sounds like MIL is reaching here and I’d say no
@irisnicole8405 I’m a grandma who watched my grand full time from 6weeks until she started Pre K. This woman is overstepping, I would find new child care asap. As an aside, I have made appointments for (when her parents asked me to) and taken my grand to appointments since birth and never needed anything signed saying I could do so.
@irisnicole8405 Yeah she doesn't need this and based on what you said, she definitely shouldn't have this. We only did this form when my husband and I went to Japan for a week
@irisnicole8405 Nope. Tell her flat out “There is no reason for you to ever need that. Even in the case of an emergency. An emergency room would not refuse to treat her before we get there. If for some reason I needed you to take her to a routine appointment, I can simply call ahead and let them know. We appreciate your concern but it’s just not something you need.”
To me? it sounds like she was told by a doctors office already that she can’t make or bring your child to appointments without this form. It sounds like the doctor’s office knew it was strange since baby probably isn’t an existing patient there - so they insisted she would need this form. I say this because we get busy with school and work during normal office hours so my mom in the past has made appointments for my children for me. (with my approval) Because she gives them all my info and explains Im just busy at the moment- she has never had an issue. It just really sounds like your MIL is trying to play mommy and a receptionist picked up on it.
@irisnicole8405 Do not under any circumstances give her those forms. She is not the parent and giving her those forms will give her the medical power of a parent though. She does not need them at all in any way, shape, or form. If something were to happen you would need to be informed anyway so she doesn't need it. If there is a severe enough medical emergency that requires surgeries, the medical team will perform surgery without parental consent if their life is on the line. So again no your MIL doesn't need medical power over your child.
@irisnicole8405 Nope. My mom watches my kids while I work and gives way too many overly detailed updates ("two year old just ate crackers, 1/3 an orange, and half a cup of milk"), and I still wouldn't sign this type of form. I'm the mom. I'll deal with the medical decisions. Let me know what's going on and call an ambulance if one is needed.
@irisnicole8405 I would speak to the provider about allowing her to take the baby to the doctors-
But making appointments and being involved like a parent- that’s not okay.
If she has those concerns I would sit her down and ask what she feels should be done about it. And honestly just look into for the sake of it. And mostly to prove her wrong but also allowing her the room to understand that you care about the child more than you dislike her.
But getting her hands on all the information is inappropriate and is not acceptable and a weird ask.
