Freezer Stash & MIL
- Thread starter bastarr
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craigbrickhill
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@bastarr I would lose it. Keep us updated. Even though my mum raised 2 children, when she babysits I leave a bottle or satchet with the particular amount of milk (max) that my LO can have during that time. Last time I left I literally hid the rest of my freezer stash in an opaque plastic bag in the freezer. It's madness how little ppl remember about infant feeding.
@bastarr There was a post on AITA awhile back about a MIL doing just this. The post was written by the teenage SIL that was watching baby with MIL while the parents were away. The baby kept crying and MIL kept assuming they were hungry so was FORCE feeding the baby more milk. The poor baby was crying and profusely vomiting and then the MIL would feed more. The SIL kept telling their mom to stop, because they could tell this was wrong, but their mom said that they are a teenager who has never had kids so they don’t know. MIL went through the whole freezer stash, I don’t remember how much but it was a lot.
I know a lot of people here are accusing your MIL of just dumping the milk maliciously, but my guess is what happened is they were force feeding your baby and your baby was most likely just spitting it all up. My MIL has never been alone with my baby, but even at just two weeks old I watched her shove a bottle in my LO’s mouth and then very firmly wiggle it back and forth and pump it in and out out their mouth to force the baby to drink faster because she expected the baby to suck it down. I literally can’t drink something as fast as she wanted this tiny baby to. I swear that generation of parenting is so unhinged.
I know a lot of people here are accusing your MIL of just dumping the milk maliciously, but my guess is what happened is they were force feeding your baby and your baby was most likely just spitting it all up. My MIL has never been alone with my baby, but even at just two weeks old I watched her shove a bottle in my LO’s mouth and then very firmly wiggle it back and forth and pump it in and out out their mouth to force the baby to drink faster because she expected the baby to suck it down. I literally can’t drink something as fast as she wanted this tiny baby to. I swear that generation of parenting is so unhinged.
txbenedictine
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asteelmagnolia
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@bastarr I would have lost it on both of them. You are not over reacting. That's a lot of milk to waste and I can't understand why anyone would be this wasteful with breast milk or formula. They both cost a lot of money or time. The only person I trust is my mom and sometimes my husband, but I always prep the bottles for them. Sometimes I'll pump before leaving so it can sit out for 4 hours and typically gets through one or two feedings depending on my supply that day however this is usually most 2 hours that I'm gone.
wajidjagat
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katrina2017
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elijahrock
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@bastarr 30 oz. of milk is a significant amount— as you have stated, LO could not have consumed it all in 6 hours. It sounds as though she disposed of it in some way; she did not feed it to LO as they would definitely not consume all of it, and if so, would be very sick. Whether or not she defrosted it all, then threw it away, or fed LO too much (made too large of bottles) and then dumped the rest of bottle out, LO did not physically eat all of it within the 6 hours you were gone. You are not overreacting, and need to confront her about it.
@bastarr I’m so sorry OP. I think she owes you an explanation.
And sorry your partner doesn’t get it. It took awhile for my husband to understand why waste is a big deal to me. You may have to explain it to him in a quantifiable way. Like, “I had to be attached to a pump for X hours to get 30oz, on top of her normal feeds. All of that time and my energy got wasted in 6 hours by this action.”
And sorry your partner doesn’t get it. It took awhile for my husband to understand why waste is a big deal to me. You may have to explain it to him in a quantifiable way. Like, “I had to be attached to a pump for X hours to get 30oz, on top of her normal feeds. All of that time and my energy got wasted in 6 hours by this action.”
@bastarr I would be so upset! Let her know that she won't be able to babysit now that you have to be present to breastfeed since she depleted your entire storage. Her actions have consequences.
Hopefully, this was an act of incompetence. My husband will still take whole bottles out and warm them for our newborn even after I have told them they are to be divided- especially since she is having difficulty taking a bottle right now!
Hopefully, this was an act of incompetence. My husband will still take whole bottles out and warm them for our newborn even after I have told them they are to be divided- especially since she is having difficulty taking a bottle right now!
@bastarr I would scream. I'm so sorry.
We started saying that any milk left with grandparents for babysitting should be considered milk that is gone. Baby mostly refuses bottles and will only take one if really hungry, which he never gets during the few hours stretches he's left with grandparents. Doesn't stop them from offering everything available! We started giving them the amount for one feed and a backup (in case of a spill or something) and that's it.
We started saying that any milk left with grandparents for babysitting should be considered milk that is gone. Baby mostly refuses bottles and will only take one if really hungry, which he never gets during the few hours stretches he's left with grandparents. Doesn't stop them from offering everything available! We started giving them the amount for one feed and a backup (in case of a spill or something) and that's it.
marniesmueller
New member
@bastarr Oh boy! She panicked and things got weird!
I had to formula feed my baby. We got home right as the formula shortage was kicking off. This much milk dust going to waste would have been real stressful and expensive. Breastfeeding and pumping is so much work, planning and energy, I can only imagine.
You need to talk to her if she watches the baby again. Really lay out the procedure.
“I have X amount in the fridge for them, they will eat X amount in this amount of time, if there is an emergency here is a stash but they shouldn’t need it” maybe make sure she knows how to warm it up and everything. Don’t expect her to know or remember anything
I had to formula feed my baby. We got home right as the formula shortage was kicking off. This much milk dust going to waste would have been real stressful and expensive. Breastfeeding and pumping is so much work, planning and energy, I can only imagine.
You need to talk to her if she watches the baby again. Really lay out the procedure.
“I have X amount in the fridge for them, they will eat X amount in this amount of time, if there is an emergency here is a stash but they shouldn’t need it” maybe make sure she knows how to warm it up and everything. Don’t expect her to know or remember anything
@bastarr Sounds like a lot of milk wasted? Did you give clear instructions on how to thaw? I would prepare the bottles and put in the fridge next time….
Different story, but my MIL accidentally unplugged our deep freezer that was in our garage to plug in the air compressor and I lost 1000 ounces. I cried. Bawled. For a good three days. She didn’t feel the slightest bit sorry. My husband told her and she said, oh bummer. Time to switch to formula.
Different story, but my MIL accidentally unplugged our deep freezer that was in our garage to plug in the air compressor and I lost 1000 ounces. I cried. Bawled. For a good three days. She didn’t feel the slightest bit sorry. My husband told her and she said, oh bummer. Time to switch to formula.