MIL wants Medical Authorization Form for 13 m.o

[jdstfdhjjh]

@irisnicole8405 Omg as both a mother and a lawyer, NO. Do not do this for like a billion reasons. You and your husband are the only people who get to make decisions about your daughters medical care. She can still bring her to a doctor if she needs one for an emergency while you’re at work; they won’t turn her away.

 

[aniko]

@irisnicole8405 I work as a nurse in a pediatricians office. We are able to take “verbal authorizations” (over the phone) from parents/guardians in situations when grandma/other would Be bringing in the child rather than the parent. It is only authorized for that specific visit/date/time and does not allow for access to medical records/scheduling/etc. you can call your peds office to see if this is something they also do and you can tell your MIL that you have a plan in place In case of these
Situations and there is no need for any other forms to be signed in the meantime.

 

[taylorj]

@irisnicole8405 Random eczema comment. My niece has it and has had it basically her entire life. Early testing did not show any allergies. It wasn’t until she was 9 or 10 that a different allergy test was done and it was discovered she is allergic to a chemical that is in a lot of things. She has to avoid most soaps, lotions, hand sanitizers, etc as the chemical makes it worse. It hasn’t solved her issue but it helped.

Onto the medical authorization, no need for it. Also, her getting treatment for your daughter and not telling you could cause even bigger issues. What is you give your kid medication because MIL didn’t tell you she already did?

 

[medelia]

@irisnicole8405 I’m going against the grain here: my mom has a medical authorization form for my kids and she doesn’t watch them regularly. I do this because I trust my mother to only react in my children’s best interest. If you don’t trust your MIL, yeah it’s a ballsy ask.

My kid hurt herself at school requiring a trip to the ER resulting in emergency surgery. She bled significantly in the school. The nurse refused to give my kid any pain relief because they can’t give Advil or Tylenol or anything without a doctor’s note. They deemed the injury not significant enough to call for an ambulance. They chose to let my kid suffer in significant pain until I could get there because of stupid paperwork and liability concerns. You know what I want? I want my kids to be cared for. I don’t want stupid paperwork to be a barrier to their care.

Nothing is worse than your kids being hurt and feeling like you can’t help them in the moment due to stupid paperwork. It’s infuriating. So yeah. I take the “set your pride aside and do what’s best for your kids” approach.

However —- if you can’t trust your MIL, she probably shouldn’t be your primary caregiver.

 

[casintexas2]

@irisnicole8405 I read the title and thought, “Oh yeah, why not? It’s good to be prepared if she wakes up sick and needs to go to the doctor or needs to go to an appointment or whatever.” But after reading the body of the post, hellll no. Your MIL can’t behave herself as it is. Nothing good could come from that.

 

[katrina2017]

@irisnicole8405 I think you’d agree, any medically necessary reason for your child to go to the doc is reason enough for you to accompany her. It’s so strange but probably common behavior, for the MIL to act like this.

 

[sarahcarlene84]

@irisnicole8405 Why does she want that form is the real question...
I think all grandparents criticize their children whenever they see something in their grandchildren that doesn't fit the norm, nothing ever satisfies them. ANYWAY, no, dont give her a medical authorization form, shes overstepping her boundaries.

 

[randyluvstanya]

@sarahcarlene84 Not really fair. I'm a grandparent to a beautiful 2 year old and a handsome one month old. I'm lucky to get to watch them a few days a week.

I've never once criticized my daughter or son in law for their parenting. They are excellent parents and I tell them both that regularly. My grandchildren are very lucky.

If I notice something is off with one of the children, of course I mention it. This could be just being a little tired, to seeming to be coming down with something, to food concerns, to behavior.

My daughter and son in law respect me enough to take my concerns seriously. I respect them enough to let them always take the lead on what should, or shouldn't, be done about it. Both my daughter and son in law have occasionally asked for my advice and I am happy to give it when asked. Mostly, they already know the right answer and just need a little validation.

Not all grandparents are controlling and can't be satisfied. Some of us are valuable members of our children's and grandchildren's lives, helping to be a village.

 

[alexnobi]

@irisnicole8405 It sounds like the form is unnecessary and may be used against you. Maybe she doesn’t understand that the form is unnecessary or she wants reassurance from a pediatrician that your daughter is healthy. She should take your word for it that the pediatrician approves of her weight and development. Sounds like she needs a Dr’s note to believe it! Different childcare if you can. She needs boundaries set for her or this will continue.

 

[jhanebeebe]

@irisnicole8405 Don’t do it. The only reason I’d consider it is if you’re going out of town and she’s watching your kid.

eta: and that would be a temporary one that would be invalid after a specific date of return

 

[recoverywfaith]

@irisnicole8405 Not wrong at all. For me, I have my mom as an authorized person, BUT I know for a fact she would never use that unless it was an absolute emergency. My son is nonverbal and autistic and they watch him sometimes. They are the only people we let watch him. And the only people who know in depth about his health and diagnosis. IF we couldn’t get contacted and they had him I would trust she would do the right thing.

 

[maddielovesbaseball]

@irisnicole8405 Doesn't seem necessary to me. If she gets weird about it or pushy I'm other areas look for alternative care, free childcare is never free

 

[loreec]

@irisnicole8405 She doesn’t watch your daughter NEARLY enough to need that

 

[ldelporte]

@irisnicole8405 If your MIL is truly concerned, have her come to a paediatrician appointment and hear it straight from him or her that there’s nothing wrong.

I wouldn’t give anyone that form if it were my child. In an emergency situation the hospital won’t hesitate to do what they can in the moment. Your MIL doesn’t need to actually make medical decisions on your behalf.

 

[hupomone10]

@irisnicole8405 Jumping on the pile to say no, do not do this.

 

[jacobk]

@irisnicole8405 My MIL got one of these when she took my daughters for a long weekend out of state, just in case. It was specifically dated ONLY for that weekend + a couple days just in case. There’s absolutely no reason for her to have one when I’m not over 4 hours away, I’ll just drive there to consent myself!

 

[hcrossth2012]

@irisnicole8405 That’s would be a hell no for me!

 

[goxfiles]

@irisnicole8405 This seems like such an odd thing to ask for. I’m wondering if she tried to call the pediatrician already and they told her she would need an authorization form. I would call the office and ask if that has happened. Like who would even think to ask for that?

 

[max_weber]

@irisnicole8405 That’s not necessary in any way. Plenty of children go to daycare and they don’t have that. In the case of an emergency you’re right, they would stabilize your child. The most she needs is updated pharmaceutical allergy and any underlying conditions to tell them. That’s it. I’d wager she plans on taking your daughter to appointments without you. Which is insane. So if possible find a daycare solution that can understand the boundaries between parent and nonparent.

 

[riseabove77]

@irisnicole8405 A few thoughts… if you don’t trust her enough to have her to be an authorized medical and give pediatrician info- do you really trust her enough to care for your child? Also, ask her WHY she’s asking this? Do you trust her in general? How is your relationship with her? I wouldn’t have an issue with giving my MIL this info- especially if she is her caretaker 3 days a week, what if she can’t contact you and needs to make a decision? I don’t know… just trying to explore the other side. There’s so many nuances we don’t know. For example, I would let my MIL have access to this but never my own mother in a million years.