Kid turned 1. What’s next?

[georgiabelle]

@stassit Don't be so hard on yourself! I have twin girls that are 3.5 and by any standard they get too much TV screen time, but we don't have tablets and they don't use our phones. They absolutely have learned stuff from watching educational shows like Sesame Street. What we try to do is limit the junk TV they watch, like the garbage for kids on YouTube. I love spending a rainy Sunday watching old Disney movies or Little Bear with my girls, it makes for really nice bonding time. They still love to play outside and have huge imaginations when they play with their toys, and like other dads have said, they don't turn into zombies around a screen like a lot of kids with no screen time tend to do.

 

[neda]

@stassit SAHD here. My little girl turns 20 months in a couple days. She LOVES Ms. Rachel (and occasionally Elmo). I’ve def worried about screen time - she averages 30-75 min/day, depending on the day (occasional days with zero tv time). I have mixed feelings, but I absolutely believe she has learned a lot from it. I would not call it useless for her age like a lot of dads here are. She knows all her letters by sight, all her numbers up to 20, all major shapes (up to octagon), and all colors. Her vocabulary is enormous. I’m certain tv has contributed to her development. She sings soooo many songs, and dances along, does the hand motions, etc. My mind is constantly blown by words that she uses and songs that she sings around the house when it’s not even on.

Many times a little TV is a life saver. Sometimes I’ve got shit I need to do and I need her occupied and not underfoot. Folding laundry that isn’t immediately unfolded. Making phone calls where I need to be able to hear the other person instead of her wailing for my attention. Cutting her fingernails. Sometimes you just need a little time to chill out.

I’m def not advocating for screen time, but wanted to give a little alternative perspective on it. I think what you do in addition to the screen time is more important than just doing zero screen time. We always go outside every day, we go to the library or community center 4-5 times per week for various tot times, we read tons of books, we do arts and crafts, we cook, we clean, we play games, play toys…it’s about balance, and being realistic with what YOUR needs are as a dad, not whatever standard other dads on Reddit say you should have. Moderate TV time can be great depending on how you utilize it.

Hope that’s helpful - remember to give yourself some grace.

Edit: I will say, “A couple hours a day, easy” does seem like a lot if it’s every day - just because after that, meal times, nap times, bath/bed routine, it doesn’t seem like there would be much time for other non-TV activities. Make sure you’re carving out time for other stuff (there have been a lot of great suggestions of non-tv time in this thread).

 

[randomusername]

@stassit Set limits on TV time. No more than an hour a day. This will pay dividends later in their life. It’s your job to set them up for success.

It’s easier to lighten up than tighten up. My boys only get TV on the weekends, so there are 4 days a week when it’s just off. Most weekends are packed, so fitting TV time in becomes tricky for them. No phone in the grocery store, no iPad in the car. It’s not an issue because we set strong limits right away.

We still watch and have movies and stuff. I know this won’t be able to last forever, but I feel like we are building good connections between being bored and getting creative.

 

[faithw]

@stassit So we instituted a rule of one hour a day of TV in our house and no phone time for the little guy. He’s gonna be 2 in October.

This was met with rebuke from my MIL who has part time care. I was getting a little tired of every time I went to check in on them he was in front of the TV with a stack of crackers. Caused a bit of a fight because whenever I suggest something she doesn’t hear the suggestion. She just hears “You’re a bad Grammy” which isn’t true. My wife did a good job smoothing it out.

As other posters have said, they don’t need “educational” TV. They need outside time, ways to practice fine motor control and lots of time watching us communicate with each other and them.

I don’t kid myself. I know screen time will ramp up as he gets older. I’m just trying not to create a little air conditioned TV bubble boy. I want a mud slicked busted knee explorer. Don’t get me wrong TVs great but it shouldn’t raise your kids. We love Miss Rachel… well he does. As well as Bluey and little bear.

The habit I really see taking hold though is his love of books. We have read tens of books each day since he was born. Before 99% of naps and before every bedtime. I take him to the library once a week and pick up 20 new books each time. The library limit is 60 items. Sometimes it’s just he and I, other days momma needs a new crime novel and we make a field trip out of it on a Saturday.

Now, when he is bored of his toys and crayons, I’ll sometimes find him in the little reading nook I have setup for him in the loft. We have pillows and blankets and a book shelf that we keep about half his books in. There are so many books I want to give him when he’s ready. The Redwall series by Brian Jacques we’ll probably read together before bedtime. I loved those books as a kid.

I also make sure we get out everyday. Whether it’s the park, pool, library or even going to the store. He takes a hot wheel car with him and I keep snacks in my bag. He’s happy as a clam.

For my wife and I it’s important that he is able to imagine, ideate, and be content without an iPad or the TV. That’s why we have these limits RN. Time for these things will increase as he becomes more mature but with accompanying conversations of the importance of entertaining yourself and learning things outside of various types of online and broadcast media.

Either way you’re doing great Dad just by showing up and asking these questions

 

[cindy9505]

@stassit Pad every single hard edged corner you have. Dining table, coffee table, TV cabinet, etc. once they’re walking they’ll be running in no time.

You’ll spend all day making share they’re not cracking their noggin.

Sleep training will mitigate co-sleeping.

Then potty training around 2.5/3YO.

 

[juleamager]

@stassit I have a 2 and 4 year old, so I’m far from an expert. My take: these children are going to grow up in a world surrounding by screens and various technology. Of course, too much of most things is a concern, but I don’t see how stressing on screen time is a tremendous benefit. If your son begins to be negatively impacted by the television being on I think you’ll recognize it, if not because you’re already being vigilant. Beyond that I don’t think I’d stress it.

 

[kraden]

@juleamager It can hinder brain development so it’s not necessarily something you’ll notice happening. Kids don’t need screens early to get used to them later. It’s amazing how quickly you can pick up how to use an iPad, for instance, so you don’t need to train them from a young age.

 

[juleamager]

@kraden Sure. I didn’t mention training. What I did say was that too much of anything would be concerning, which responded directly to his question. I’m sure keeping screens away from your kids for as long as possible is also a fine way to parent.

 

[adam4922]

@stassit My 3 yr old initially suffered from a speech delay, we saw specialists and they were all concerned to know how much TV we watched as the evidence and studies show language speech delays in relation to the amount of TV watched.

The studies we saw were quite significant and anything more than an hour a day would impact.

As it was we didn’t watch any at that time with her, now she only gets 30 mins a day, an occasional weekend film together.

We have a lot of books and she’ll sit and go through them and likes to explain the pages to us.

 

[cqmethodist]

@stassit Next comes the number 2. Sorry couldn’t resist

 

[mohanmon]

@stassit 2…2 is next

 

[molly31]

@stassit If he likes cars you can try Cory Carson on Netflix, my son loves it and it’s like bluey lite, same elements but not as good but still better than most

My son also got really into big cardboard books around that age (he’ll rip up a regular book in a second) he just likes to open and shut them and point to some stuff on the pages but 1 book can keep him occupied for 5-10 min

 

[davisbaker]

@stassit As long as you are monitoring and limiting the screen time I don’t see anything wrong with it. Kids can learn a lot from the right shows and it gives you a little break so you can parent better when the TV is off.

 

[emexermtype]

@stassit Generally turning 2 is next.

 

[esayaszeweldi]

@stassit My feeling is that you don’t make a big deal out of it in either direction. It shouldn’t be the be all and end all but outlawing it entirely is bad news. Inevitably he’ll discover it’s a thing and if it’s on a pedestal he’s gonna seek it out when nobody’s watching like it was some sort of illicit activity. If he asks for it, make it background noise during another activity - ok we can watch cars but while it’s on let’s do a puzzle. It only becomes an issue if you make it a way of life or straight up ban it

 

[gypsysfriend]

@stassit What’s after 1? 1B?

 

[nan13]

@stassit Id work on motor skills. Climbing, playing keep away with paci, rolling balls, etc. And then i did a lot of walks around the hood or mall, parks. I did some trying to talk, stuff like have baby touch my throat while i make noises and other mimicry

 

[jcsolascriptura]

@stassit I recommend cutting way back on screen time (to close to 0). There are so many things to replace it with that are much more fun, interactive, and education. Read books (and ask questions frequently about what is happening as he gets older to ensure engagement and understanding), go outside and find insects to watch, mix cornstarch and water to make oobleck and make a mess, make a sensory bin, buy him a drum and bang on the drum with him (or play music and play the drum with the music) or strum a guitar or play a piano or something. There are always options.

Also, if you are going to do TV, I recommend shows with a more educational bent (like Octonauts, Story Bots, etc).

 

[myrockbrokethechains]

@stassit Awesomeness. A whole personality develops. It’s my favorite age so far.

 

[rndebw]

@stassit I think you and him might like some sensory stuff. Start with a sensory board and get into a bin. Sand, rocks and some construction toys might be a hit. Google it and find a bunch of different things to try.