I have too much on my plate

[atreides82]

Venting.

Have a 2 year old and a 9 month old.
First of all, we’re going on a cruise this summer and my parents and brother’s family are coming too. My mom is INSISTENT that my toddler and my nephew (2) are both potty trained by then so they can go in the pool (no swim diapers allowed). I am willing to try but my daughter isn’t ready yet. She can go swimming in the ocean. But my mom is saying I need to try harder. Ok, whatever.

I have mastitis. Just started antibiotics. Was in immense discomfort all weekend. My son has a mysterious rash on his face that won’t go away even with two doctors visits and multiple medications. He isn’t sleeping well and is biting me during nursing.

My husband is in the process of getting medically retired from his job and we have no idea when its going to happen and where we will live after this. He’s doing constant job interviews as well as doctor’s visits related to his conditions. I can’t even talk about this to my family because we haven’t told anyone yet, our families tend to overstep boundaries related to stuff like this and we just don’t want to deal with the unsolicited opinions until we have firm answers.

I hate our dog. He’s a stubborn breed and doesn’t listen for shit. He plays too rough around the kids. Today he wouldn’t stop barking outside and wouldn’t listen to come inside. I tried to gesture him to come inside and he snarled at me. I tried to grab the back of his neck to gently pull him in the direction and he bit me, twice. I had to put a collar and leash on him and put him in his crate that way.

The laundry is piling up. The house is a mess. Need to figure out what to make for dinner. Need to finish the kids Easter baskets.

I have no village. I have no village. I have no village.

 

[longbeard]

@atreides82 That's a lot on your plate. You sound overwhelmed.

First, the dog is a safety issue. Kids > pets. If the dog bit you, it could bite your kids. Dog needs a new home.

The stuff your husband is going through, unfortunately you won't know more until you know more. It's so hard to wait in limbo.

Laundry... just do the essentials. Do what you can do, and do anything damp so it doesn't grow mold, and just know you will catch up eventually.

Your kids are little, if the Easter baskets aren't perfect, they won't care.

Can you hire a one time house cleaning? Pick up some frozen meals from the store (frozen entre + frozen veggies = dinner)?

Right now you need to focus on your health and healing from Mastitis. Eating extra yogurt can help. If your son can also eat yogurt, it's great for him too!

 

[annelouise18]

@longbeard And if it doesn’t get folded, be ok with that. I literally have a giant basket for each of my kids for their clean laundry. I’m doing multiple loads a day and it feels like I only ever get more to do. Sure, my kids go through baskets or put it away unfolded, but at least the clothes are clean. It’s all the energy that I have, and that has to be good enough

 

[joel_mutua]

@annelouise18 My kids are school aged and I still can't keep up with all the laundry and fold it. Good enough is good enough!

 

[naka]

@atreides82 Get rid of the dog.

Don't go on the cruise. No way a 9 month old will be potty trained. (ETA ok I misread, still having a 2yo potty trained is no easy task)

Easter baskets aren't that important, let's face it.

Make your home your serene place.

 

[midlifecrisisgirl]

@naka I agree it’s asinine, but surely it’s the two year old who’s under pressure to be potty trained?

 

[elrefale]

@naka She said toddler. Not baby.

 

[naka]

@elrefale Ah well, I misread. Insistence that a 2 yo be potty trained is pretty aspirational. Maybe she'll get lucky. Mine took till just over 3. They're ready when their brains are ready.

 

[elrefale]

@naka Exactly! My oldest was around 3 and my 2.5 year old is just now ready. It’s all on them

 

[johncmartin]

@naka I’m astonished that her mom is asking a 9 month old to be potty trained… wild.

 

[kmar123]

@johncmartin I believe the mother is asking that the 2yo be potty trained, not the baby. But I could be wrong. Either way, grandma can fuck off haha

 

[tfran]

@johncmartin She wants the 2 year old potty trained

 

[johncmartin]

@tfran Haha sorry! She said and nephew, not her other child

 

[tfran]

The 2 year old not the 9 month old

 

[nola34]

@atreides82 Definitely get rid of the dog.

Ignore your mum re potty training. If your daughter isn’t ready then she isn’t ready. It will only stress both of you out if you force it too early.

Your kids are so young they don’t need much in an Easter basket. Or you could just grab a few eggs and do a hunt.

Is it too late to pull out of the cruise? Sounds like it will be a nightmare with your family and your mums lack of boundaries.

If not then I think it’s time to tell your mum to back off and that you’ll toilet train your kids when you decide to. I can’t believe she has the nerve to demand you do it to suit her timeframe.

 

[elrefale]

@atreides82 Dog needs to be rehomed. Dog bites are dangerous.

Continue putting your foot down. Your toddler can have a lot of fun without the pool. No need to force potty training

 

[evilbeans]

@atreides82 Ignore your mom. Some kids are ready to potty train at 2, but others take a little longer. You will do more harm if you force it before your child is ready.

I'm sorry to hear about your mastitis. I've never experienced it myself, but I've heard it's better to continue breastfeeding, even if it's uncomfortable. I hope the antibiotics have you feeling better soon.

I hope you get some answers regarding your husband's medical retirement. That sounds very stressful.

Your dog needs immediate intervention. This may be a bit of a Hail Mary, but is there somewhere else the dog can stay while he has a behavioral evaluation and maybe some training? I hate to tell you to re-home him, but you know your children's safety has to come first.

As for the rest of the housework, "Do your best and forget the rest." Wash the clothes you need right away first, and leave the rest for another day. Order takeout for dinner (if you can afford it), or do something simple like grilled cheese or peanut butter and jelly. Don't go overboard on the Easter baskets. Your children won't even remember Easter this year.

 

[cgpb]

@atreides82

My mom is INSISTENT that my toddler and my nephew (2) are both potty trained by then

Your mom can fuck right off. Don’t even try until you think you and your kid are ready. Your efforts can be counterproductive if you try too soon.

The dog situation doesn’t sound ideal for anyone, including the dog. If it’s a puppy, try to do what you can to get it trained properly before it’s too late. If it’s not a puppy, everyone would probably be happier if you rehomed it. The dog can’t be happy if you’re creating it often, and it’s not safe for the kids if it’s too rough and won’t let you even control it safely.

The laundry is piling up. The house is a mess. Need to figure out what to make for dinner. Need to finish the kids Easter baskets.

Let the laundry and mess pile up. You’ve got two tiny humans to take care of; certain things that used to seem important just aren’t important anymore. If someone else complains about the mess, then let them know they’re welcome to help out, and if they don’t want to, then they’re welcome to keep their opinions to themselves. Your kids are young enough that you don’t need to do water baskets for them if it’s stressing you out. You could even do it some other random day in the future if you find the energy and want to do it then. They have no idea when Easter is.

Being village-less sucks. Just do your best. Your best is good enough.

 

[polsokker1441]

@atreides82 Cruise ship pools are disgusting!

 

[mizelei1991]

@polsokker1441 Ugh, seriously. But hey, we wouldn't want a babys swim diaper to contaminate their lukewarm butthole water now would we .