I have too much on my plate

@atreides82 If you are taking suggestions. I would definitely yell at my mom (WTH). I weaned my 2nd kid earlier because there was too much. Reddit is a great place to talk about your husband’s stuff. Rehome the dog now. It is not that expensive to have other’s do your laundry. It might be a nice treat. And Easter can be in July.
 
@atreides82 My son was potty trained by two because HE was ready — not us, not grandma. Do not force your child to potty train you will invite a host of problems.

The aggressive dog needs to be put down before it kills a child or you. There is no place in society for dogs that turn on people.

I had mastitis once and it was the worst pain ever. Pumping for some reason didn’t hurt while nursing did so I did that for a week to get the milk out. Granted, pumping brought it on so we switched to exclusively nursing afterwards. I hope it goes away soon, I’m sorry you’re having a rough time.
 
@atreides82 Firmly and directly tell your mom you will not be forcing your daughter into potty training before she is ready and potentially making it even more difficult later down the road. If she is potty trained great.
 
@atreides82 There is a difference between being potty trained and being potty trained so well that I am prepared to send a kid swimming without a swim diaper. Grandma’s expectation is unreasonable.
 
@atreides82 Ok first a pool suggestion. At 2, you don’t need to potty train, but what you could do is start telling them to poop in their diaper at certain times. Like ok, we’re about to go to the playground, if you feel poo poo, now is a good time to go in your diaper. Etc. my kid was actually really good at this. That way, if timed correctly, you could say ok poop in the morning, then you’ll have a window to swim in the pool with no diaper. Who cares about peeing in the pool honestly. It’s just about poop. But for real, if you’re in the pool for little while, and the kid can’t swim so you’ll literally be holding them, you’ll be able to dip in for a short time without them pooping in that moment. So basically have a diaper on under swim suit, take it off to dip in the pool, put the diaper back on. Idk if lifeguards will be nearby patrolling? Otherwise tell your mom to come over and potty train the kid themselves all weekend.

Please get rid of your dog. My friends kid has been bitten on the face by their friendly family dog, needing many stitches. And once was pushed down and knocked the kids teeth out. Their lucky things weren’t fatal honestly.

Delete social media instantly. Do not look at everyone else having perfect Easter’s. I swear it’s all fake and only designed to make you miserable. If you don’t let it into your life, it’s simply not there. You can exist in the here and now present, and you’ll feel happier.

Can you go on care.com or bambino and hire a helper or sitter for a couple of hours? Sometimes I reach out to sitters and ask them if they can just help me clean and they’re fine with that.

Even in good times, my house is trashed. Once a week I spend about 4 hours tidying my house, then a cleaner comes for 3 more hours and deep cleans. By night time, it looks like it never happened. Some days I have the energy to pick up. Some days I use the time to watch trash tv and leave the floor covered in clutter. It gets to the same state every day in any case. I will literally forever have a mountain of the families socks mixed together that no matter how much time I have, I don’t have the mental strength to sort.

Everyone feels like this with little kids this age. It’s going to get a little easier every year. You’re in the thick of it right now.

I’m sorry you have no village. I don’t have any family help or support, and I let myself grieve that.
 
@mihira Seven hours of cleaning looking like it never happened is so relatable. I picked up all the toys and vacuumed my living room yesterday afternoon. I mentioned it to my husband in the evening. He kind of looked around with an expression like this living room?
 
@techo I know I wish I could share a quick video of my house with OP just so she knows what real houses with little kids look like. I mean my kids’ idea of fun is ripping paper towels into a thousand pieces, taking a bead making kit and seeing how far they can bounce beads across the house, taking off all their clothes but putting each item in different locations. Repeat for each room. It’s wild. Never mind the kitchen LOL.

But yes. I really do this deep cleaning process every week. It lasts maybe 30 minutes.
 
@atreides82 Ok, then you start investing the time and energy into the dog. If you don't want to do that, then re-home the dog(best option!). A dog that bites is not suitable to be around children so this is a situation that needs to be dealt with ASAP.
 
@atreides82 You’ve got waaaay too much on your plate!! Prioritize the safety risks and medical. Then simplify/what you can (frozen food or take out food, get a cleaner or throw the clutter in a box in a closet and clean one room that you plan on spending time in and forget the rest!)

Beyond that just know your Reddit friends are rooting for you and know you will make it through this even if it seems impossible right now!
 
@atreides82 holy crap. this is A LOT. the cruise is supposed to be fun, no? your mom sounds like she’s being unreasonable. i would find a polite way to explain that to her. honestly, i can’t believe that she would make such a demand but i understand that every family is different and that keeping the peace is key. you
may need their help in future so don’t blow the whole thing up by giving her a piece of your mind. maybe say that the pressure to potty train is so great, you’re considering bailing on the cruise. that might bring things into perspective for her. also, explain that to recover from mastitis you need to eliminate stress and rest.

dog needs to go. we had to do the same thing and it sucked but it was ultimately for the best. it will hurt bad for a week and then you’ll move on. and we loved our dog, snarky fucker that he was.

i have discovered recently that you can get A LOT of laundry done at the laundry mat. i wish i’d discovered this sooner. find a good one that has clean machines. you can wash multiple loads at once, pile them all into one giant dryer and then just fold like crazy. somehow it makes it go faster. also maybe because there are no distractions. perhaps your husband can give you a day to haul it all over to a place and get it done?

nursing: if the baby is biting, it may be a sign that they are ready to wean. i had my daughter off the boob at 6 months and she is a healthy, thriving young girl. after 6 months i believe the benefits of nursing diminish vastly. some formula never killed anyone. and you have 3 months until you can introduce cows milk anyway. talk to your pediatrician.

mastitis: get a heating pad. get a MOIST one. far more effective. this is the one that i have. it is not cheap but they last forever. and are great for all sorts of aches and pains.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0006NMT5K
 
@solomon97 Heat is not recommended for mastitis anymore, OP is better to use something cooling. As for the biting, it’s most likely because baby is teething. Not necessarily that they are ready to wean. Which still sucks but teething and therefore the biting is temporary.
 
@whosthe2witnesses yeah was just suggesting that she doesn’t have to nurse anymore if she feels that will help reduce stress. everyone is different. and there is no right way to do things. personally i would have no interest nursing something that has teeth. 🤣 had no idea that heat wasn’t recommended anymore. i have an autoimmune disorder that affects my joints and find that a combination of heat and cooling is most effective. assumed it would be the same for swelling from an infection.
 
@atreides82 I’m so sorry. Listen, your mom insisting that a two 2 y/o children absolutely be potty trained by a specific date is complete madness. I will bet you she never had to do that. It’s just not how it works.
 
@atreides82 I feel a lot like you pretty often. I have a 3 year old and a 10 month old, and going places with them, let alone a cruise, can be debilitating after a few hours. I get so little help, and then I just end up wanting to go home when my family tries to coerce me into going somewhere with them. Given what your husband is going through, and the rest of the things that are on your plate, it’s okay to tell your family you won’t be going on the cruise if it’s only going to give you more stress.

As I said: I have had to learn this lesson when it comes down to my family; they tend to try to make the time that I spend around them feel like something that’s beneficial to me and my children when it’s really the exact opposite.

No one has to live your life except for you, and if the village doesn’t exist, then screw the people who want to act like they have a say in your children’s lives. It doesn’t matter who they are, or what relation they have to you, because it doesn’t sound like they’re helping AT ALL.
 
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