@madscribbler 1a. Often there is no magical way to Do Things Right and have it be easier. Every company and influencer wants us to think their thing/method will fix everything if we buy it. My kids slept badly. Some things made it worse, a constellation of things helped, but there was no one magical solution. Often we feel not only desperate but guilty, as if we are Doing It Wrong and hurting them. Be gentle on yourself.
1b. My mother tells every new parent, “It is normal to sometimes feel like throwing the baby out the window.” Set them down gently, go meet some of your needs, and do not judge yourself. If your amygdala gets super stressed it will hijack your brain, and tell you to eliminate the “source” of stress. Just soothe yourself, this too shall pass.
- When the baby wakes up at night, go pee first. Baby’s already crying and a 30 second delay won’t make things worse. On the other hand, you might be stuck with a full bladder holding a sleeping baby for 45 minutes.
3a. Birdseye flour-sack towels work as muslin blankets for newborns, diapers, changing table covers, burp cloths, and general rags. They are cheap (I like Osocozy) and so flexible, I have often mused I could survive with nothing but a stack of flour-sack towels, running water, and food for me/babe.
3b. Also, a good baby carrier. Velcro baby doesn’t have to be a problem if they are snuggled in an Ergo or ring sling. Babywearing International chapters often have loaners to help you find your best fit before you purchase.
Your newborn may hate carriers or wraps in the beginning but can get used to them. Keep trying, it’s worth it. 
), but I'll tell ya, a little fresh air and/or shower can solve all manner of sins. Fresh air especially helps for calming fussy tiny babies, in my experience.