I’m at a loss with my 7 year old

@ericthesinner It's definitely a good idea to get an evaluation done. She could be on the spectrum. She sounds very similar to how my partner was as a child. It's not at all a bad thing if she is, it just means you can help her learn to cope with some of the feelings she has.

She might behave really well at school because it is structured and routine. While being tired of friends being over could be because of to much social stimulation.
 
@mattj15 But she can go out and play with them in the neighborhood or their houses for 2 days without any issue! But I agree, we are getting it looked at. We don’t believe it’s her as much as it’s us trying to navigate through the emotions the right way. And if she is on the spectrum that is ok too. We will have an idea and hopefully an approach to it all!
 
@ericthesinner Ah yeah definitely could be anything. Only thing I'd add is that women are diagnosed almost a 1/4 as much as men and it's very different person to person. My partner used to go to concerts all the time with crowds of people. Yet loud restaurants are her triggers. But I'm no expert so it's good you doing everything you can anyway 🙂
 
@ericthesinner I'm autistic (diagnosed in my late 20s) and my childhood sounds exactly like your daughter. I too had good days where I went to play with friends for hours and had a good time. Being on the spectrum doesn't mean you can't do those things, just means you need more time to recharge, and you might have conflicting and confusing feelings about it. Women and girls don't get diagnosed nearly enough and professionals often miss it because most research and diagnostic criteria are based on white middle class boys.
 
@mattj15 My 7 year old son exhibits near identical behavior and he’s on the spectrum. I’m glad they’re getting her evaluated and trying to figure out what’s best for her and the family.
 
@ericthesinner So my kid has thyroid issues. If her levels are off, she'll have behavioral issues that are very out of character when her levels are within range.

It's also hard to differentiate what is a normal kid just being unreasonable for a bit, vs actual issues. So sometimes her levels are fine and she's just being a dick.

Maybe blood work would be a good idea? Get her thyroid stimulating hormone and free t4 checked.
 
@kimvalerio05 She’s out riding bikes with her friends almost daily, bike rides are very important in this house! She also loves going to the park and trampoline activities. She’s a pretty active kid! Yesterday she hung out with me and a few buddies from 2-8 pm and was phenomenal. She had one small outburst and I simply told her “bub, it’s ok to be upset but you can’t let it ruin you. Give me a high 5 and let’s put this in the past” she gave me a high 5 tearfully and we went back about our business. All of my friends were like “wow is that how parenting is supposed to be done”
For a moment I felt like I had it figured out, then I laughed and said “no, but in that situation I won!”
 
@ericthesinner Every third week like clockwork my preteen son would lose his mind. He didn’t want to talk so I’d take him out in nature to decompress away from all electronics and people. After about 30 minutes I could see him start to unwind and act like a happy child. Have patience. And tell her to go scream into a pillow behind a closed door. Speaking of doors, my younger son liked to slam doors, so after one warning if he did it again the door would be taken down, and put in garage for a week. Good luck in staying a step ahead!
 
@ericthesinner We have had an experience very similar to this with our youngest and got to the point we felt so completely lost and our whole household was miserable.
Our pediatrician recommended looking at Parent Child Interactive Therapy (PCIT),so I found a local therapist that specialized in this. We are about 5 weeks in and it has helped TREMENDOUSLY already. Tantrums are reduced, he listens 100x better and had better emotional control and I feel like we got some level of normalcy back in our family.

I totally empathize with you , it’s so hard. But I highly recommended PCIT behavioral therapy, it’s helped our family a ton.
 
@ericthesinner I went through alot of this with my 8 year old quite a bit, you said you were getting her evaluated.
They ended up diagnosing my youngest with adhd and gave me a huge list of how much less research we have on the female gender with adhd, some of those behaviors sound right on the money, it took about 2 months but.5 mg of guanfacine a day made a massive difference once we started talking to a psychiatrist.
 
@ericthesinner I was in the same boat. We ended up getting a neuropsych eval, turns out she has ADHD and dyslexia as well as some sensory things (food is a PITA). She now goes to Occupational Therapy and once we had her meds dialed in she started excelling in school and making friends. There are still blowups but it's way better than before. We started this process around age 7.
 
@ericthesinner You sound like a good dad to me with how your approaching this and acknowledging it. So many just brush this under the carpet or act like it’s nothing or worse blame their kids friends for causing issues which you also aren’t doing
 
@ericthesinner Oh I get that from your post, definitely. I hope what I wrote didn’t come across that I wasn’t meaning that. Apologies if it did as it wasn’t my intention
 
@ericthesinner Have you tried role playing in her calmer moments? Have her be the mommy or daddy and you be a little kid. Maybe don't play "her" because you don't want this to be a guilt trip. Perhaps even better to do this with toys so it's less overt.
But have her see what it looks like from the other side. Don't over do it, but ask her what that little kid could have done to help themselves feel better.

Also you might try mindfulness meditation, for the whole family. As we all journeys start small. Start where your at.
7 is just about the age when kids can start getting it. Being able to stop identifying ones' self as the thoughts and emotions we perceive can be immensely helpful.
Bring able to say, "I am feeling anger and frustration" rather than "I am angry and frustrated" may sound minor but it can be the handle one needs to leverage one out of grip of an emotional spiral.

Beat your heart, breath your breath. Best of luck
 
@amersfoort Yesterday I had one of the best days of my lives with my girls. Then. My wife came home and my oldest turned. I lost it and I’m not proud. The switch that flipped on my daughter blew my mind it took me 20 mins to even realize what the hell dhanged
 
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