How do you live as an "aware" parent (i.e. mindful of toxins, clean products, etc) without going overboard?

chai92

New member
It's hard to put into words I guess - but I want to move to a more conscious household as far as cleaners, bath products, etc. I start looking into making changes and then I just start to get overwhelmed. I am one year PP and when I was in the thick of it after my baby was born, I was deep into trying to figure out how to navigate this. I would start to research and look into different brands, research etc and I would get so worked up and worried about everything. Worried about phthalates, hormone disrupters, micro and forever plastics, fragrances and my son's eczema ... how do y'all reign it in and slowly, over time, make small changes? Genuinely asking for guidance. Thank you!
 
@chai92 Personally, I use cast iron and no nonstick for cooking. I store food in glass and don't heat up food in plastic (ikea has a great line of glass food storage that's very affordable and durable). I don't use air fresheners or candles, and use plain bleach, vinegar, and cleaning products that I've had a look at the ingredients of. For skin and bath, again I look at the ingredients and avoid scents.
 
@apkinnay I really like using high proof alcohol for cleaning. I add lemon or a few drops of essential oil to it. I purchased a bread maker and trying to make the majority of snacks and food at home. Unfortunately I still have some plastic use from neighbors or relatives who still use them. Those I use as containers to hold ornamental annual flowers or perennials that aren’t consumable
 
@chai92 I have no advice but commenting to follow because I'm in the exact same boat and have gone completely overboard, i know my husband is sick of me, everyday i have something new for him 🫠. It gets overwhelming and I have a hard time not allowing my anxiety to take over.
 
@timonrhoff Yup. Here for solidarity to say “retweet”. It all started with the wallpaper in my LO’s room off-gassing and I lost my mind. It went from VOCs to PFAS to phthalates to microplastics and beyond. I was diagnosed with PPA/PPD/PPOCD at about 6 weeks PP and it was just one of the many vehicles that took me into a dark place. Don’t know if any of you have faith in a higher power but when I get down a rabbit hole I just ask God to take this anxiety from me because I know I can’t protect my LO from everything and we still have to live our lives and I ask God to protect him from what I can’t and then I try to change the channel in my brain. It’s really hard but a worthwhile battle nonetheless. Also mindfulness practices like trying to just smell the top of my LOs head and just sit in how scrumptious that is. We do what we can to protect them and have to hold loosely to everything else we can’t control. ❤️ At least this is what I tell myself.
 
@timonrhoff Right!!! And the overboard thing is more like an overwhelmed thing, not like judging how far anyone goes but what I personally can handle. It is all so overwhelming!
 
@chai92 It’s overwhelming at first but soon becomes second nature! Just remember the basics of no heated plastics and avoiding scents. Thats half the battle.
 
@chai92 This is for people who get lost in researching and need serious help with healthy limits (this is me, I've learned from personal experience lol).

Make a list of things you want to change/research. Then pick ONE thing on the list. Decide a time limit around how much time you think is reasonable to research it and write it down next to it on the list. To clarify, I don't mean research every known fact about the issue, but rather researching alternatives and which one seems both healthy and like a good fit for your situation.

Then, when you have time to look into it, which may be on a different day, set a timer on your phone. Try your best to make a decision within that time frame before the timer goes off. Or if you need to break the overall time into several chunks of time because of interruptions, stop the timer when needed and make note of it on your list, then try to decide before the last of the sessions adding up to the full time is done.

Try out the new alternative you have chosen for a couple of weeks and assess how it's going. Is it working well? Not well? If a consumable product like toiletries that you have to repurchase, are you going through it too quickly and the cost is unsustainable, etc. If you need to try a different brand or different alternative, then do so.

Once you feel good and settled with that change and feel comfortable taking on a different change, pick a new one from your list. Repeat.
 
@chai92 I've done it over a few years. You can't control everything but you can do your best. I try to remind myself that my husband is really healthy and his mom didn't know you shouldn't wipe a bowl with chlorox wipes, immediately put food in it and eat it. God knows what he consumed in his childhood.
 
@iada This is so good. I do this too. I’m like “Ok my husband ate fish sticks and corn flakes with sugar poured on them every day and he’s healthy as a horse” whenever I start to freak out that I can’t find a specific flavor pouch I want that is clean label project purity awarded. 🤦🏻‍♀️
 
@chai92 I would prioritize the things that are most important for you to swap out, then work on the others as it makes sense. For me, I started with switching all of my son's diapers and wipes once I realized how bad they were. This was a first priority in my head. From there, I've tried to take it one step at a time by replacing things with a better decision once the old one wears out/runs out. Ex. If I want to switch to all new cleaning products, but have plenty in the cabinet then I will just continue to use the old ones (or find them a new home if it's truly in your mind that it's unsafe to continue use) until they are gone and then research a replacement. This has been a good pace for me over the last year or so to switch to better items - easier on my pocketbook to not do it all at once and from a research perspective in not feeling overwhelmed.
 
@chai92 My outlook is tinted by my wanting to be eco friendly and keep my family healthy combined with a mix of trying to save my sanity, and cynicism that it’s too late and whatever I do is a drop in the bucket at best, if not worse because we haven’t discovered yet what the next terrible thing will be 😬

So I’ll often find a store or an expert that I feel I align with and trust them. The bulk store I go to for a bunch of food has convinced me that they only sell decent products, so I get all my cleaning supplies and soap products there. I’ll get organic produce from my same grocery store, but won’t change my menu if they only have the non organic ingredients and won’t go to another store for that. I’ve chosen to trust Emily Oster, she may not be perfect but she’s good enough for me and I’ll stop researching a given topic (vitamins, preschool, sleep training, etc) once I’ve read her thoughts on it.

I’m not perfect of course, sometimes I go down a rabbit hole on a topic, but I’ve found a way to not lose my mind.
 
@chai92 For me it’s a matter of moderating my own internal temperature/anxiety levels as opposed to the external stuff. we will literally never be able to protect her kids from every harmful thing. We live in a toxic world, and unfortunately there’s not really a way to get around that if you live in society. So for me I have just learned to do as much as I can until I start to get anxious, then back off a bit. I take the research that my trusted friends and others have done, and buy products that they have recommended so that I don’t have to make myself crazy doing research in every area.
 
@chai92 Whenever given a choice, just try to make the best one with things like finances, preferences, etc in mind. Take each choice as an opportunity to do better and it lll eventually be an unconscious action. We also allow a splurge every so often when it comes to my children’s choices. My son got to choose a treat at the grocery store this morning. Reece’s cups aren’t the most granola obviously, but my son doesn’t get them often and his diet all around has been great. One choice at a time.
 
@chai92 Accept you can only control what’s in your home and tackle on room at a time. First kithchsn, then bathroom, then laundry etc., it gets easier over time because it gets more
Mainstream every year and products get better.
 

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