@davidjgreen I don’t know if this helps but it’s almost like she left for college. She is away and attending school. I think if you focus on it this way it will be easier to handle. They do grow up so quickly and no one knows that better than a parent of a teenage. It sounds like you did a great job raising her - now it’s time to rediscover what you like to do. And the best reason to do it. Is so your daughter will know how important it is for us as adults to keep learning and growing too. So nows the time to ........ whatever it is you have been putting on the back burn to take of her. Do that thing and make your daughter be as proud of you as you are of her. Hugs.
@livingontheedge Each day gets minutely easier to do this. I know with time it’ll get better. I do need to find a new goal, though. Since most my energy has been spent raising her, I need to figure out what it is that I want to spend all my energy doing now that she’s gone.
@davidjgreen They say a good place to start is something you find interesting and have always wanted to learn more about or something you enjoyed doing as a child.
@livingontheedge The hardest thing right now is getting the motivation to pull myself out of this slump long enough to get started on things that I’m sure I’d enjoy (and that I used to enjoy.) Depression has a way of making you lose interest in things that you use to enjoy, ya know?
@davidjgreen I totally understand that. Maybe it would be a good idea to talk to your primary doctor too. And try to get yourself outside into the fresh air. Maybe a walk in nature or something like that. Also establishing a new routine like getting up , dressed and out to grab a coffee or tea. Could help. Small steps. And be kind to yourself.
@davidjgreen Oh, you are so strong! Also, looks like you raised a smart, strong, independent young woman who loves you and trusts your bond enough to live away from you.
I'd say the reason she is staying is the BF. Think back to when you were that age. BF takes priority over everything -- at least it did when I was that age. Keep it in the back of your mind that she may end up coming back if the relationship goes bad.
I don't have any advice other than maybe she's getting pressure from the dad? He's a pilot and taking care of three boys? And the mom of the boys isn't there? Is it possible that he made her an offer she couldn't refuse?
@theend123 Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. And I know it’s probably a combination of both the BF and the lifestyle her dad has offered her.
You say I’m strong... I don’t feel it at the moment. So all of the strength and love you send my way are most certainly welcomed!
@davidjgreen i felt the same way a year ago, but other parents told me that teens want to be independent and expand their horizons. my son just felt closer to dad and wouldn’t listen to me. it turns out that they were right, and after some months away, things are much better. In the mean time, i talked to a therapist and it helped a lot to process the pain.
@rainah I have an appointment in two weeks. When I got really dark I will think there was a last day she played with that doll or rode that and I didn’t realize it just writing that sentence makes me cry . I was so busy when they were little teaching being a mom stoning a house I just wish had been in the moment more. Now I have to stop thinking about “the last time” does anyone else ever feel this way. It’s awful
