FTM Nervous to wear my Baby! (Afraid he can't breathe in his Infantino Unison carrier)

[aswesing941]

My baby is 9 days old, and yesterday we finally decided to try a baby carrier.

I agonized over whether or not to use a wrap or structured carrier- and we decided to try and start with a soft structured Infantino Unison.

I love the soft fabric and how close my baby is to me, and that the carrier can fit into my diaper bag when I'm not using it. I also love that the carrier will fit my husband with only minimal adjustments.

Here is My dilemma:

The first being that my mother is critical of baby wearing in general. She says its an unnecessary fad and doesn't see the point- she's mentioned that his positioning looks "weird" and "uncomfortable" at best- which makes a FTM mom like me second guess EVERYTHING.

This leads to the second issue:

I'm very large chested. The straps sit directly under my breasts in order to have my son "kissably close" - and he is that close, but I worry that my breasts might be making it hard for my son to breathe.

I could have swore I heard him making almost a wheezing sound when we tried it out- and my nervous FTM meter almost tapped out over it!
He doesn't stop breathing- (I kept my hand on his back, and kept leaning down to listen to him in order to check) How do I know he's getting enough air and that my breasts aren't making it hard for him to breathe?

As far as his leg positioning goes- This is something I've wanted to try since we found out I was pregnant- so I've ready countless articles about the "M" leg positioning and making sure that baby's nose and mouth aren't obstructed by the carrier. When I first put him in the Infantino carrier, as far as I could tell his legs were NOT hanging in a "V" shape, but the "M" shape was not as pronounced (his knees are bent- but I can't tell if they sit higher than his little bum).

I have no idea what I'm doing- but I'm determined to make sure it's right!

I decided to try asking the pros (aka- you guys!) if there seems to be any red flags- or if I'm just being overly cautious.

Please help- I'm close to taking this carrier back!
Thanks for reading

EDIT: A picture for reference

 

[gisherjohn]

@aswesing941 It's hard to tell, but it looks good to me. Not trying to sound weird, but your boobs don't look THAT big-I wouldn't worry about them obstructing his breathing. And his legs look more supported than a bjorn type carrier, which (from what I've heard) isn't THAT bad as long as you aren't keeping him in there for hours and he has no family history.

As far as your mom, baby wearing is a fad that's been going on forever. So...not a fad? Haha. Trust your instincts, not your moms. I think if you can keep an eye on him and can monitor his breathing he should be ok. It will only get easier as he gets bigger.

 

[aswesing941]

@gisherjohn That's about what I told her too- still a mom is a mom and I value her opinions so it's hard to know if one of us is just being stubborn or if something isn't quite right.

I'm sitting at about an HH cup right now- and they get in the way of everything else for sure! I just really want to make sure my baby is as comfy/safe as he can be.

I plan to wear him mostly just for walks and errands (shopping/eating out) so I don't have to fuss over a big car seat/stroller)

 

[andrewsmith]

@aswesing941 (TICKS for safe wearing)[www.schoolofbabywearing.com/Images/TICKS.pdf]

The "M" shape is actually only NECESSARY for children with hip dysplasia or a family history of it. Dangling legs won't hurt a "normal" baby.

Do you have a pic? Those are most helpful for concerns like this

 

[aswesing941]

@andrewsmith I just added one! Please let me know. Thank you!

 

[andrewsmith]

@aswesing941 That looks safe but not perfect. "Kissable" for a newborn means you should be able to just tilt your head and reach his. Do you think you could get him an inch or two higher so his head is closer to your collarbone?

As for the legs, it looks like all you need to do is grab him behind the knees and tuck them up a little deeper. I always adjust this way after. I finish tightening, in any carrier. It's really hard to get the "seat" perfect while you're focusing on everything else.

 

[aswesing941]

@andrewsmith I can't get him any higher with this carrier unfortunately. It feels like he's closer to my chin when I'm sitting- but he slides down a bit when I stand. The straps are as high as they can be underneath my breasts- which is kind of why I'm considering returning it. I'm wondering if a mei tai would be better because it's more adjustable.

 

[andrewsmith]

@aswesing941 A lot of mamas love the Infantino mei tai over the Union -- and it lasts into the toddler years. To use it for a newborn you can roll the waist to make the panel smaller and use a ribbon to cinch the seat down smaller too. Go with your instincts!

 

[famousmockingbird]

@aswesing941 Sounds like you're a good conscientious mom. I was always paranoid and checking for breathing when I first started wearing my first son, especially because he was a little baby and I too have a chest running on the larger end. Getting his head turned to one side or the other resting on you rather than face in would be good, having him higher, as was mentioned already, would make that easier for him to do. Then his tummy would be on your chest rather than his chest. I used a stretchy wrap when my guys were little and switched to a SSC (soft structured carrier) when they were around 15 lbs. I liked the wrap because it is adjustable in every way and when they are growing so fast it is just way more accommodating.

 

[ddcan]

@famousmockingbird [sup]Mouseover to view the metric conversion for this comment[/sup]

 

[katrina2017]

@aswesing941 Gotta keep in mind that what's comfortable for a newborn isn't comfortable for us. They are used to being squashed up in utero, just look at swaddling, we wouldn't find it comfortable, they have trouble sleeping without it.

 

[seekingpurity]

@aswesing941 You can also check to see if there is a local chapter of the Babywearing international group near you. You can pop in to a meeting and they can troubleshoot with you in person to make sure you have the best possible fit or to let you try out other carriers to see if something works better for you. And your mom is wrong on this one. Babywearing might be more popular stateside than its been in the past, but it's certainly not a fad and moms have been doing it since the beginning of time!