Do you think i would deserve Christmas presents if you had 3 F’s in school?

[kolson0319]

I don’t at all but what do you think?

 

[andrew99]

@kolson0319 I think, as a parent, it is typically not a good idea to mix christmas/bday gifts vs academic/achievement rewards. They should be separate unless clearly stated and agreed beforehand.

 

[runningmama4three]

@andrew99 Well said.

 

[kolson0319]

@andrew99 A thing to add is I’m in 10th grade and I hear that those grades are the most important if I ever want to go to college. I got 3 f’s, that’s not good.

 

[andrew99]

@kolson0319 Well that's a question of what you want for college. If you were thinking Harvard, Stanford, MIT, elite schools - yeah you are screwed likely. But to be fair you probably were not going there to begin with something like only 5% of applicants get into those places.

That out of the way, yes GPA is important when colleges consider an applicant. First thing first, you have 3 Fs. You probably need to keep your eyes on the more immediate concern of passing 10th grade because if you can't clear that hurdle you have bigger problems. The concern would be what is going on that your grades are so low. I can't answer any of that but you should talk with someone about it. Start with school counselor, maybe consider a recommendation to see a therapist.

 

[oynlolar]

@kolson0319 Nope three F's is not good. What will you do to change it? Still gifts shouldn't be intertwined with Christmas. Grounded until grades are better is more what I would do.

 

[pyoms]

@kolson0319 3 Fs isn’t great but it isn’t the end of the world. There are solutions. At my school, there were independent studies for people who failed certain classes and could make them up. You can also go to community college and then transfer—it’s MUCH easier to get accepted places as a CC transfer tbh

 

[madhatter99]

@kolson0319 My kiddo is in 10th grade and I tell her… these next three years will shape your whole life! If my kiddo had 3 F’s then life would stop around here… not literally but no more leaving after school every day, don’t even think about a permit or license, no money for drinks at school, no surprise presents from the store….. school, home, school, home.. until they were up. Her life would absolutely change. If I have to go to work and do good, your job is to go to school and do good. If she was really trying and didn’t understand, that is different…. But now is not the time to not give a shit. Most of your friends you will not know in 5 years, focus on yourself!

Edit: it wouldn’t affect her Christmas tho…

 

[katrina2017]

@madhatter99 You wouldn't even let her buy a drink or get her little surprises? She wouldn't be allowed to enjoy life because she's struggling with some classes? Seems harsh to me. Anyone getting F's is already going to feel quite bad inside.

 

[wittyfeed]

@katrina2017 I work with middle and high schoolers, and I’ll be honest with you, some kids simply don’t care. They have no intrinsic desire to do well because they don’t see the point of academic achievement. They don’t feel bad about their grades; their self-esteem is completely unrelated to school work.

 

[madhatter99]

@katrina2017 Aaahhhhh…. You said the key word, STRUGGLE! If my kid was trying and struggling, that is way different then not caring. If I knew my kid was completely capable of B/C but they have F’s… yeah, you lose your bonuses…. I give her $20 a week for school lattes , I would absolutely take them away…. If your blowing school off, you don’t get unlimited friend time.

 

[oynlolar]

@katrina2017 I disagree some kids just don't put in the effort and as parents we know if that's our kid. But school has got to be important and sometimes being harsh is what kids need to wake up.

 

[ericrandolf]

@kolson0319 Yes, of course you deserve Christmas presents. Everyone deserves kindness.

As a mom, the fact that you would even ask makes me want to give you a big hug.

 

[kolson0319]

@ericrandolf A thing to add is I’m in 10th grade and I hear that those grades are the most important if I ever want to go to college. I got 3 f’s, that’s not good.

 

[ericrandolf]

@kolson0319 There's always options. The best thing to do is not dwell on it, make a plan and move forward. You can talk to your school counselor about your options, whether it's repeating those classes if they're needed for the post-secondary program you want, or if any action is needed at all. It'll be ok. Even if it seems a lot to handle right now.

It seems you're also worried about your parents' reactions judging by your original question. Let them know you've got a plan, or that you'll make one. And I hope that they'll understand that a failing grade is not the end of the world.

I failed two courses in my first year of university and ended up adding an extra year to my program so I could catch up. Still got the same degree that everyone else did.

 

[kolson0319]

@ericrandolf Oh wow that’s inspirational. Thanks for your help.

 

[bless16]

@kolson0319 I think if my child is failing at school they need help not shame or punishment

 

[katrina2017]

@bless16 I agree.

 

[theoldways]

@bless16 Right!!!, Amen !!!!!

 

[katrina2017]

@kolson0319 Yes, everyone deserves a present.

What I would do is limit your screen time (phone, video games, TV) until those F's improved.