Christmas gifts for coparent that you don’t actually like

[joktan]

@sabrinawellard I wouldn't take anything you see on social media seriously.

I think maybe get him a present from the kid and let that be it. Maybe y'all can agree privately that you won't exchange anything else.

 

[iseolu]

@sabrinawellard I have never related more to a post!!! I take my kids to pick out a gift for their dad because we are big on giving.. and honestly I can’t tell them no. Lol

BUT, I’m also ready for the Christmas (and any day) I don’t have to see the person I hate the most. That has tried to ruin my life every chance they could.

 

[sllarry]

@sabrinawellard I like to send her a Christmas Card of me and our daughters being a family... Just to add a little sizzle... Cause she never does things like that with them anymore..

 

[jmiahman]

@sabrinawellard I give my kids spending money each year. Who they buy for is up to them.

 

[jayy7]

@sabrinawellard I went on my local buy nothing group and posted looking for items to give. My kids are young and just want to give a present. The stuff we got was actually cool and I got extra to cover Father’s Day and his birthday. He’s getting a snow cone machine, ice cube trays and an electric screwdriver. I don’t care if he likes it, he just needs to pretend for their sake.

 

[pamkowal]

@sabrinawellard Had this with my ex as well. We were not on good terms and for the first 3 years he got a card and gift card to some restaurant. Now he has stepped up more so my son actually goes and picks a gifts for him and my husband and I also get my baby dad and his new wife a gift as well. I think you just try to stay kind. Kindness always wins. But don't feel like it needs to be super heartfelt.

 

[jesusproof]

@sabrinawellard Nah let their new partner sort that out.

 

[gentleaura]

@sabrinawellard

Does anyone else have a coparenting relationship where you’re friendly on a surface level/amicable for the kids sake ONLY? Under the surface, I still can’t get past the horrible things they’ve done. If I weren’t legally obligated because of the children, there would be no contact at all.

I thought this was the case for everyone?

 

[sonja1022]

@sabrinawellard I'm giving my son's father a little bracelet from him and leaving it at that. I'm only doing it because he got me flowers, a card & chocolate covered strawberries for Mother's Day and said it was from our 6 month old son. I'm not a fan of his at all but I'm giving him something back from our (now 11 month old son) in hopes that he'll see I'm making an effort to go into the next year co-parenting in peace. I don't expect anything back but it's my olive branch lol

 

[mabet]

@sabrinawellard I wouldn’t buy a gift for him if it would save my own life.

 

[priscilakaylin]

@sabrinawellard I think it's amazing showing your children your willingness to put aside the horrid things. You are the better co-parent for doing this small gesture your children get excited about.

However I fully get where you are coming from (I'm dating and engaged to a dad whose ex is a realllll piece of work). She and her new boyfriend both have charges and the boyfriend is facing more charges for drug/assault related offenses. She thinks it's okay to be assaulted by the same man she calls " the best thing to happen to her." and let him stay around the children and we don't. Long story short, I absolutely HATE dealing with her or watching my Fiancee' deal with all the stuff she does. .

But for the sake of the children I bite my tongue and keep things civil. There have been times I've had to calm my fiancee' (children's dad) over all the narcissistic stuff she is doing. It's one of those situations of now what does she want and what is it going to cost us mentally and emotionally. Her schemes of "I say and do what I want" is draining overall.

However, let the kids lead the way for the present. Just say you helped the kids pick it out. There is no right or wrong way. If you can't afford a gift personally, just get a dollar card for the holidays. Maybe a very impersonal gift card that hopefully they include the children in. But I fully understand your frustrations and not wanting to get a gift for the co-parent personally. There is nothing that says you have to. And there is nothing staying of what and how much you spend on that said gift. Good luck with everything and remember one day you won't have to deal with them anymore except the big occasions of graduation, weddings, etc ..