nessofonett05
New member
@harryking He has a cpap and uses it, thanks
Daddy sleeping in
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@nessofonett05 Then sleep apnea is not a valid excuse for any of this.
@nessofonett05 If he had sleep apnea, he should be tested. My husband did and felt 1000% more rested after getting a CPAP.
I have 2 toddlers (20mo apart) and he goes to bed later than I’d do and as a result, he often gets up later than me and the kids (who are up between 5:45-6:15 most days). He’s usually up by 9.
If I need help for whatever reason, I wake him up.
But, overall, it doesn’t bother me because I have no problem telling him if I need a break or a nap and he makes it happen. He’s super involved so it makes no difference to me if he sleeps in a bit more.
I have 2 toddlers (20mo apart) and he goes to bed later than I’d do and as a result, he often gets up later than me and the kids (who are up between 5:45-6:15 most days). He’s usually up by 9.
If I need help for whatever reason, I wake him up.
But, overall, it doesn’t bother me because I have no problem telling him if I need a break or a nap and he makes it happen. He’s super involved so it makes no difference to me if he sleeps in a bit more.
nessofonett05
New member
@nessofonett05 With my oldest, I got up most of the time. With the second, we did it a bit differently.
He was born in 2021 and we were both working from home.
I went to bed at 7ish when my daughter did. And my husband stayed up til midnight-2am in the living room with the newborn. I took over any night feedings after he went to bed, which was like maybe 1 or 2. Then, I’d get up when the toddler woke up. This way, we both got 5-7 hours uninterrupted sleep.
Sometimes I’d stay up and he’d go to bed early.
Then one or both of us would take a nap during the day if needed.
With working from home, he could be flexible with his hours so he’d get up like 8-9ish
He was born in 2021 and we were both working from home.
I went to bed at 7ish when my daughter did. And my husband stayed up til midnight-2am in the living room with the newborn. I took over any night feedings after he went to bed, which was like maybe 1 or 2. Then, I’d get up when the toddler woke up. This way, we both got 5-7 hours uninterrupted sleep.
Sometimes I’d stay up and he’d go to bed early.
Then one or both of us would take a nap during the day if needed.
With working from home, he could be flexible with his hours so he’d get up like 8-9ish
@nessofonett05 I get the sleep apnea and needing more sleep. You also need more sleep right now. There needs to be some compromise. He's allowed to be tired. That's part of parenthood.
ffreplica515
New member
@nessofonett05 No one sleeps in here unless the kids do. My husband gets up with my son and I get up with my daughter, so who gets to sleep in is random. It’s never more than 20 minutes unless we have a seriously sick child.
Although I’m never asleep past 7 when they wake up. It’s just more quiet time for me.
Regarding the sleep apnea, that is really hard. I would have a come-to-Jesus talk with him like I did with my husband about ADHD before my second.
You need to present your best self. You need to do everything in your power to be treated. Once you’ve done all that, I have compassion. Until then, you are held to the same standard as me.
Although I’m never asleep past 7 when they wake up. It’s just more quiet time for me.
Regarding the sleep apnea, that is really hard. I would have a come-to-Jesus talk with him like I did with my husband about ADHD before my second.
You need to present your best self. You need to do everything in your power to be treated. Once you’ve done all that, I have compassion. Until then, you are held to the same standard as me.
nessofonett05
New member
@ffreplica515 Thank you. He has been wearing the cpap . He has always been a high needs sleeper. I think he should go to bed earlier in general if he wants more sleep than he’s getting.
carlosmarx
New member
@nessofonett05 As long as I get to sleep in the next day, I’m chill.
@nessofonett05 I often let my husband sleep in because I am better at falling asleep at night and when I am awake in the morning it's hard for me to go back to sleep, and he is the opposite. He always says thanks and is happy to take over and let me have time to myself when he gets up.
@gingerine Yeah, I can nap and my husband can't. We just play to our strengths and that means I get up early more. I don't mind and he benefits so why wouldn't I?
vikisingh21
New member
@nessofonett05 We used to switch off but my husband naturally wakes up around the same time the kids do. So now the rule is, he wakes up with them, I keep them occupied in the afternoon so he can take a nap or do something for himself.
@nessofonett05 I’m a SAHM and we have 4, 10y-5mo. The vast vast majority of the time, if he’s home in the morning (he has variable work schedule, both start time and days), he lets me sleep in. Today I let him sleep in (I was up with one at 6:30, and he was up a little after 8). But he was up yesterday with one from 3:30a-5a, and up for the day at 6a.
@nessofonett05 we just had a newborn and he’s on paternity leave (i’m a SAHM) so he gets up with the toddler and watches her until i want to wake up, even though the baby crying to nurse at night wakes him up too.
pre baby, as long as my partner wasn’t working, he got up with the toddler. on days he worked from home, he’d get her up and changed and bring her in to wake me when it was time for him to start working. on weekends, he’d get up with her and let me sleep until whenever i wanted.
pre baby, as long as my partner wasn’t working, he got up with the toddler. on days he worked from home, he’d get her up and changed and bring her in to wake me when it was time for him to start working. on weekends, he’d get up with her and let me sleep until whenever i wanted.
whydoesithavetobethisway
New member
@nessofonett05 It sounds totally unfair for you honestly. I think it’s time for a big chat together to figure out something better. I consider myself someone who has high sleep needs too but I chose to have children, so yes I’m up with them every single day at 5am. He needs to sleep earlier and having a toddler sit on your lap is part of parenting. Waking up early isn’t forever, one day the kids will grow up and I know I’ll either be dragging them out of bed or missing those 5am wake ups once they’re gone.
My husband sleeps in later than me on weekends but I’m happy to let him sleep because he wakes up at 2am Monday to Friday for work.
He has an afternoon nap with our kids when he gets home/as I leave for my job, so he does their bedtime routine while I relax with a hot shower/good book when I get home from work. We each take the kids out in our spare time once a week so the other parent has the house to themselves for an hour or two. We do equal chores and take turns cooking. Our routine is probably very different from most people because of our odd work hours but we decided it together and we’re happy.
My husband sleeps in later than me on weekends but I’m happy to let him sleep because he wakes up at 2am Monday to Friday for work.
He has an afternoon nap with our kids when he gets home/as I leave for my job, so he does their bedtime routine while I relax with a hot shower/good book when I get home from work. We each take the kids out in our spare time once a week so the other parent has the house to themselves for an hour or two. We do equal chores and take turns cooking. Our routine is probably very different from most people because of our odd work hours but we decided it together and we’re happy.
andiiluvsjesus
New member
@nessofonett05 My baby is 8 months old and my husband has never woken up before 12pm unless it was to go to work and he has never woken up with our baby throughout the night. He didn’t even do it in the hospital when our baby was born. This isn’t helpful to you but I saw the post and commented for solidarity. I would like to sleep through the night and sleep until 8am just once lol
@nessofonett05 All I know is Husband’s are the most selfish people in the world.
My husband thinks he deserves more sleep, more food, more alone time, more relaxation, and less responsibilities than everyone else. Selfish Pricks, they all are.
My husband thinks he deserves more sleep, more food, more alone time, more relaxation, and less responsibilities than everyone else. Selfish Pricks, they all are.
