@katrina2017 Honestly, I didn’t do things the best way, simply because I just didn’t care that she needed me to sleep…it was nice to feel needed, you know?? In regards to transitioning her, I would attempt to put her down drowsy and sometimes it did work, but most times I ended up rocking her to sleep and placing her when she was completely asleep.
We use white noise, which is a good sleep association and she didn’t really rely on the pacifier, so if she woke up after a sleep cycle she was okay to fall back asleep on her own.
There were definitely a lot of moments where she would wake up when I placed her down, so I’d pick her up again and rock her again and put her back down, and repeat. Eventually she just kind of stayed on her own.
@greykell I’ve almost been there. My husband was working still and I was home with our son. My husband had to get up early, so I was taking him every time he woke up and bringing him to the nursery for feed and diaper change. Then one morning at 2am, I fell asleep with him in my arms in the rocking chair. I woke up to the sound of him hitting the floor and crying. Luckily he was completely fine, but it really made me rethink what we were doing. From then on, my husband took care of him for a few hours so I could sleep but also once my husband got up for work, at the next feed and diaper change our son would come back to bed with me, which I had said up for safe sleep 7. We both slept so much deeper and I felt so much more connected to him. He’s 3.5 months now and has sort of grown out of it and sleeps really well in his mini crib now. But cosleeping saved us. If we have another baby I would do it again.
@greykell I have been there too! A few days after birth, my daughter would not sleep in the co-bed anymore. Like you I was breastfeeding and all in all co-sleeping was the best solution, also for me to gain back some energy after the c-section.
You already got some great advise from others here, so not much to add.
Maybe one thing : do not worry about independant sleep for now! I co-slept 2 months with her, and after that she slept and still sleeps in her co-bed without any problem. (I started being cold at nights and needed a blanket to sleep, so for saftey I put her back in her bed) So do not worry about "bad habits" etc., you will not jeopardize anything. For now: you need to rest too!
You might even love the co-sleeping (I did, and so did all the mothers around me that did it too).
@greykell You have to do what you have to do to survive. There were times in the beginning where I was sooo tired I had to sleep with our girl. Didn’t make it a common practice. After about 5 weeks I started practicing independent sleep. Took a bit but she got it
@greykell We both worked from home so we did an interesting thing. We would take turns. One person would nap while baby napped on their chest while the other parent supervised to make sure nobody rolled over and baby was still breathing. Then we’d switch off. Cosleeping can be very safe if it’s supervised by someone who is awake!
We did this for 6 months and then moved baby to her own room. She’s now a toddler who sleeps great independently.
@greykell My husband and I sleep with the baby between us on a changing pad. It’s elevated, he’s secure. He’s just outgrown the swaddle at 2 months - so we will have to start putting him in the crib soon. The changing pad has worked for us. I’m sleeping every 2-3 hours, waking up to change him/feed him (most nights). He falls asleep in my arms or on my chest, I bend over the changing pad so he feels my body until he’s flat on his back and I gently release my hands from behind his neck and his bottom.
Good luck! My husband also gives me time to sleep following an all nighter. You need sleep.
@greykell We were in this exact same boat, and I hold her in shifts for seven hours a night for about six weeks before caving in ordering a Snoo. It works great, but obviously isn’t financially possible for most people, I’m kind of counting on resale. I was too anxious to cosleep. But have relatives who have done it successfully following safe sleep seven and especially a firm mattress with no sheets at the end of the day is probably safer than falling asleep with your baby on the couch accidentally And it sucks at the US is not more rational about helping people weigh those risks.
@greykell When we first got home, it was bad here too. She would scream if put down at all.
Slowly but surely, at 8 pm every night we would turn off all the lights except a small lamp in the front room, turn the TV all the way down, change and swaddle her. Whoever was holding her would hold her until she fell asleep and then put her in her pack and play bassinet. She would sleep there til she woke up. Then we’d change, feed, rinse and repeat. Eventually we moved to the bedroom bassinet. She only sleeps 2-3, maybe 4, hour chunks and I breastfeed but I pump before bed (after her feed) and make a bottle with it hubby gives her in the early am.
@greykell First of all hopefully the bedside bassinet will be a good solution for you. Our 4 week old son does well in his about 90% of the time. However there is that other 10% where he gets too fussy or needy and out of frustration I end up pulling him into bed with me.
To be honest, about half of my friends who are parents shamelessly co-sleep. Personally, I feel perfectly safe sleeping next to my baby, because before I had him I slept with my mini dachshund every night of his life, from when he was a 3 lb puppy to a crotchety old man. I always instinctively knew where the dog was, and never kicked him or rolled over onto him. If I never hurt the dog in 12 years of co-sleeping, why would I suddenly kill the baby?
Ultimately it is considered best practices to have your baby sleep in your room but not in your bed. But you need to do what works for your baby and your family.
@greykell Hi, congrats on your baby, sounds like it’s super hard at the moment so solidarity to you, our babe is few months older but that first week was so hard! Just wanting to share that nearly all my friends needed to co sleep, they are all health professionals and did it safely. Have a look at cradlednz posts on Instagram for guidelines on how to do it safely. I haven’t coslept yet as baby is mostly ok to be put into bassinet but am open to it if required (our baby was term baby, I don’t smoke/drink, baby healthy). It is obviously your decision, no-one plans on cosleeping but when desperate you need to know how to do it safely if required
@greykell Cosleeping saved my sanity during the 4 month sleep regression - and I never went back to the crib sleep. I follow the rules on safe sleeping (my dog is still in bed with us but she only lays in the foot of the bed), sleep dressed up with a light blanket on my feet… I give my back support with a king size pillow behind me. I do have to constantly push back my husband’s duvet if it’s coming within a foot of my baby’s sleeping space…
Anyways, haters gonna hate, but the rest of the world (non-Western) sleeps with their babies and they don’t blink.
@greykell Our babies are the same age I had this issue my first time around and I wish we'd known about the safe sleep seven earlier on. We were so tired and kept winding up falling asleep in some pretty precarious positions.
With this baby, I didn't even bother with the bedside bassinet. We've just gone straight to bedsharing, and it's been so much easier. I don't smoke, I breastfeed, and we have a firm mattress. Breast-sleeping has been great and I'm actually getting pretty good sleep this time around.
So yeah, no judgement here. Nothing but support! But also, if someone does judge you, know that that's on them. You're doing what you need to do to get through this stage, and you're doing it as safely as you can. That's all that matters.
I had this issue my first time around and I wish we'd known about the safe sleep seven earlier on. We were so tired and kept winding up falling asleep in some pretty precarious positions.