Coparent’s new GF is vulgar

@servantofourlord Still a risk factor more than person who doesn’t use or has never used drugs at all though, which obviously I would have preferred but as long as it’s not happening around the kids then it’s none of my business.
 
@jham123 It’s probably going to fizzle out soon, if you get upset about it he may dig his heels in and stay with her longer. She’s likely not a long term type of gal based off her quotes lol.

My ex dated a girl who did porn as his first GF after we split. I was really freaked out but it burned out fast, he then dated two girls before landing on his now wife who I really like.
 
@jham123 Unfortunately there isn’t much you can do. You can’t control who is around your kids when you have a coparent. I understand your concern. I have done quick google searches on both my exes gfs he has had and looked up their social media. I have never gone as far as background checks. That’s a little far in my opinion. I also inquired about these women when I found out that they knew people I knew.

The last one I had bad vibes from the get go. I never heard anything positive about her. Turns out she was what everyone claimed her to be. But still nothing I could do. I had yo have faith my ex would keep my kids safe and I made sure my kids communicated with me.

Currently they are not together because of her behavior. But time will tell if it stays that way. But just because she is vulgar on social media doesn’t mean she is a bad person. Most people on social media are trying to make a statement and get a rise out of people. But they are non violent crimes. Stupid… Yes. But people learn and grow.
 
@jham123 I should add that at the end, I did step in and say the kids were not allowed to be near her. My ex and I have decent relationship, so in my case he honored my request. My kids are also older.

I did step in and threaten court because I came to a point that I was concerned for their safety. There was more than one incident. The first couple, I could only document. But least I had a leg to stand on. The last incident was her assaulting my ex out front of my youngest. That’s where I drew the line.

I always reiterate that he was always allowed to see the children, it was her that couldn’t. He worked with me because I worked with him. My kids relationship with their dad is just as important as mine. I also asked him straight out if my bf was doing what she was doing, what would he do. Then I asked the most important question, if I was no longer around, would he want her raising our kids. If the answer is no, then rethink your situation. They broke up.

I tell you that story because I want you yo know that I understand your position. But your hands are ultimately tied.

Just for future reference. Document, document, document. And text and email as much as you can.

But like I said. People grow and mature. We don’t why she did what she did. She could have been in a tough spot. She could have had a tough upbringing, so she protects herself by sounding tough and having thick skin. You don’t really know.
 
@katrina2017 I understand what you are saying. It goes back a few years ago to a time where he was going to have a roommate move into his house without doing a background check. I did a background check and found out the guy was a violent felon. My ex is a bit naive and too trusting.
 
@jham123 I would say your behavior is both understandable and unacceptable. Let go while you have the chance, before it escalates into conflict and affects your son.
 
Back
Top