Coparent’s new GF is vulgar

@hallbee66 And then what? Unless they are currently committing crimes in front of your kid, you have no legal recourse. There is literally NOTHING you can do. Just like I told OP, good luck trying to control things you have no control over.
 
@guitarguy8424 To know if they have sex offenses? Recent drug offenses?

I have an old dui and had a judge rule that I couldn't drive my former stepkids as passengers. Had to go back to court and get that injunction removed. And no, my dui did not involve kids. I was a 23 yr old college kid doing dumb stuff
 
@guitarguy8424 Yes I have been doing background checks on people that will potentially be an influence to my son. My ex was going to move a roommate in a few years ago, who was a violent felon, and we only found out about it because of the background check. I definitely dodged a bullet on that one. since then I decided that a background check will be a good idea going forward because my ex is too trusting and sometimes takes things at face value.
 
@guitarguy8424 Thanks, but I politely asked for peoples opinions. I wasn’t asking for any backhanded comments. I don’t know how “ good luck with your new full-time job“ is an opinion that follows the rules of the sub.
 
@jham123 Right. And my opinion is that unless you are doing a background check on everybody your kid meets, what your are doing is a manipulation and control tactic. You do a background check on any of your friends, or is it just his friends?
 
@guitarguy8424 I’ve actually never run background checks on his friends. Just his girlfriend and the almost roommate. Those are two important positions in my sons life, the roommate would have been someone that he would be living with, and the girlfriend is someone who might become stepmom. In reverse, I would definitely run background checks on anyone that I would date or become a roommate with.
 
@jham123 I hope you have a subscription because you got a lot of background checks coming up over the next 14 years. Good luck trying to control things you have no control over.
 
@jham123 This is creepy and will be terrible for you when you end up back in court. The judge will view this as you trying to control/harass your ex. Let it go. You divorced for a reason. If you have real concerns, either talk to your ex or reopen your case and let a judge make the decision.
 
@jham123 You don’t have control over what your coparent does during his parenting time. He’s lucky to have shared that information with you. 8 months is very reasonable, even 6 months is reasonable.

I suggest not doing a social media deep dive. We all have posted photos and written things in the past that we wouldn’t be proud of today. Also, lack of context and filling in the gaps with our own personal bias is a recipe for disaster.

Hopefully you’ll get to meet her, and if you do you can smile and say hi and move on with your day.

It’s totally okay to feel how you feel, but you can’t control who your ex dates.
 
@jham123 Yes, and you can’t control what BD does while it’s his parenting time, unless there’s a change to the custody order.
 
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