@boby777 Hey, this was not your fault! I had a similar outcome with my first and I hated it. Pushed for 3 hours, baby made no progress. Needed a C-section, I was exhausted after laboring with painful contractions so long and it was the last thing I wanted to do but I accepted defeat. Also nearly vomited/passed out during the procedure. The meds can do that to you! Whole thing was not fun at all. I was a touch bitter about it for years.
Two years later I got pregnant with my second. I was determined to have a better experience. Then, at 30 weeks, for unknown reasons I went into early labor and everything went haywire. I went from 0 to 10 cm in maybe an hour. I was lucky to make it to the hospital! And when the OB checked, he could see baby’s head. So, there I am about to birth a little 30 weeker who is literally about to shoot out of me. Doctor breaks my water and wouldn’t you know it, baby retracts and just like my first, makes NO progress. I was offered to labor for a while but I said no, let’s go to a C-section. This baby is too fragile to put him through that.
Anyway, I accepted that my body just can’t get the baby last my pubic bone. I think I have a flat-ish pubic bone, but not sure. And my second C-section was so much easier because I didn’t labor for as long and I also knew exactly what to expect. And I don’t know if it was the experience of already being a mom to a toddler, but I felt very decisive. My job was to get him out via the safest means for both him and me. That just happens to be surgically for whatever reason.
For what it’s worth, my little 30 weeker had bruising on his head from when he got stuck. I’m glad we went for the C-section because clearly he couldn’t make it through. It’s not a failure on your part - you did everything you needed to, including enduring a crappy surgery and recovery, to bring your baby here. And there is no shame in scheduling a C-section next time. While my second wasn’t scheduled, it was a much much better experience because I wasn’t exhausted and sleep deprived from hours and hours of labor. I felt present, strong, and my recovery was easier. I did get nauseous again but I was able to communicate it quickly and they pushed me some anti nausea meds and made me comfortable.
I’ll just repeat - you did it all the way you should have!! You did perfectly in fact.
. Birth is so difficult and the whole “it’s natural” narrative drives me bonkers. It’s so hard to make decisions in a situation where you are in pain, exhausted, overwhelmed and rushed. Is it possible for you to make an appointment with the OB who cared for you to do a birth review/debrief? Sometimes they can be really helpful, to have an opportunity to ask questions and review the decision making process.