When are you getting to spend time with your babies?

[eric1844]

First and only LO is 7 months. I’m an attorney. I had maternity leave for 3 months and then wfh for 3 months. I just finished my first full month full time in the office….and how are y’all doing it???

My work schedule used to be 9a-6pm or later, depending on my work load.

Now, no matter how early I start, I’m still finishing around 6p, getting home between 630-7p (depending who picks up LO from my sister who babysits (I like to pick him up sometimes to visit my family)). We eat dinner and shower, and LO is showering by 8p and in bed by 830p. I do some work from home in the morning but in the office by 9a-10a. The problem is that LO doesn’t wake up til 730a and I still need to feed him before heading to my sister’s.

When do you get to spend time with your babies??? That leaves me with barely 2 hours a day with him. That sucks.

 

[trchristiano]

@eric1844 Hey fellow attorney mom. I WFH a couple days to minimize wasted commute time and then I end my day at 4:30, do my timesheet, and out door by 4:45 knowing I will work from 7:30-10:00 in the evening to make up the lost time when needed. Sometimes I tell myself I will get in the office super early too but I’m more of a night owl. I tell my coworkers and clients I have to leave at a strict time for daycare pickup. I put my meeting cut off time in my outlook to set expectations.

 

[james_austin]

@trchristiano Mom attorney here as well and this is what I do. Putting meeting cutoff times in outlook is crucial!

 

[bolevi]

@eric1844 I get about 40 mins in the morning with my kids and 1.5 hours at night - they need their sleep so there's no way to adjust that time in the evening sadly (and in some ways it's nice, I get to exercise and have alone time with my husband). I try to make the most of our time together on the weekends and dedicate it to family time.

 

[kalatoza]

@bolevi This is me too.

 

[mallavaram]

@bolevi Me too.

 

[changedbyhim]

@bolevi I had a co-worker who kept her infant then toddler children up, didn't allow the recommended and much needed hours of sleep that children need, so she "could" spend time with them because she had to work. By the time they reached kinder, they had cognitive & development issues....lack of brain development due to lack of sleep. I get it, we all want to be with our children but as parents our job is to protect & raise our children healthy...we sacrifice our needs to ensure their well-being. At least, that's what I followed

 

[bjornke]

@changedbyhim Wow, is this a thing from lack of sleep? I’m just curious for myself, haha! My parents never made us go to bed… and now that I’m a parent it baffles me because my kids even now, at 8 and 5 need SO MUCH sleep!

 

[bolevi]

@changedbyhim That's really unfortunate - I totally get wanting more time with your kid but sleep is so important!

 

[wargame_junkie]

@eric1844 Moved in house and WFH with a nanny.

 

[sanjose1982]

@wargame_junkie WFH with a nanny is so so nice. I realize it’s not realistic for everyone but I love getting to spend half an hour every morning reading books w my kid rather than frantically trying to get everyone out the door.

 

[wargame_junkie]

@sanjose1982 Same

 

[mistya]

@wargame_junkie This is what I’m trying to convince my husband to do. At least with a nanny mornings wouldn’t be spend trying to get everything ready to get to daycare and on my wfh days I’d be around to see them when I can.

 

[wargame_junkie]

@mistya Yes, it's nice to be able to wake up and my only tasks are to get myself ready, nurse, and make my coffee before signing on. Although Nannies can be flaky and I've had three in a year and a half, but it never takes more than a week or so to find a new one (in a major city) so long as you pay market. In house and WFH even part time gives flexibility to make it work.

 

[eric1844]

@wargame_junkie What were you doing before in-house counsel? I handle civil litigation and the idea of in-house just doesn’t seem exciting enough this early into my career (6 years). I know it’s great money but I LOVE doing litigation. I’m so torn between my career and being a mom, which I love equally, if not more!!

 

[wargame_junkie]

@eric1844 Transactional businesd law. Law firm is better money but lifestyle sucks. It's pretty interesting just in s different way

 

[tanuki]

@eric1844 I left private practice and went government.

 

[miracleboy]

@tanuki Me too! Night and day difference.

 

[eric1844]

@tanuki I’m going to retype my response from another comment and apply it to your comment:

What were you doing before moving to government work? I handle civil litigation and the idea of government just doesn’t seem exciting enough this early into my career (6 years). I know it’s great money but I LOVE doing litigation. I’m so torn between my career and being a mom, which I love equally, if not more!!

I also would pretty much take a pay cut by 50% if I went to government and I’m the breadwinner. Did you take a pay cut?

 

[tanuki]

@eric1844 I was in tax consulting before I left and I am now in a tax controversy/litigation role. I moved pretty early into my career (at about 2 years) and I have been in government for about 5 years. Because it was so early in my career it wasn't a huge pay cut (maybe 10-15%), but I certainly haven't seen the growth that I would have had in private practice.

That being said, there are a lot of perks and quality of life benefits that I get now that more than make up for it to me, particularly as a working parent. I work from home, I have every Monday off, I have a ton of vacation. I am also completely in charge of my own cases. Professionally, my training has been absolutely fantastic.

In my specialty area, it is valuable to have government experience, so I feel like I could go back to private practice when my kids are older and less demanding of my time.