SlEeP NoW bEfOrE tHe BaBy gEtS hErE

[pinkflower]

Seriously. I know this has been posted a few times but I need to vent it myself.

I'm convinced that anyone who says this has either never been pregnant or have completely forgotten what the last 2 weeks or so are like.

I will absolutely lose it if I hear anyone else tell me that I will have even less sleep once the baby arrives. Is it possible to sleep less that not at all?

Currently, I'm constantly sweating, it's so hot here I feel like I'm going to burst into flames and my mattress seems t make me even more hot that I cannot get comfortable.

I can't lie flat because as soon as a do, the reflux/heartburn makes me almost vomit so I have to try to sleep sitting upright.

I constantly have a foot, knee, elbow or head pressing into some other organ of mine.

I have to pee every 15 minutes.

My back aches, it's not really painful like I know some of poor preggos are having to deal with but it's enough to keep me awake.

I may live to regret saying this, but I genuinely think I will have much more sleep when the baby is born and most of these problems are removed.

I try not to complain, I know this is all part of being pregnant and I wouldn't change that for anything but people need STFU with their useless and uninformed advice. 8 days until my due date... Thank you to this community for providing a safe space to rave about this stuff, I can't do it anywhere else!

Solidarity to all of you superwomen too, we will provail!

 

[ugostrange]

@pinkflower I'm now 3 weeks postpartum and I have to warn you, the sleep deprivation is real. Just because baby sleeps for 2-3 hours at a time doesn't mean you will... HOWEVER... the fact that I can get in and out of bed with ease and lay in whatever position I want is glorious! Reading through your post has reminded me to be more appreciative of the fact that I'm able to get comfortable even though I'm tired.

 

[indigogrl79]

@ugostrange Yes! I would describe it as a different kind of sleep deprivation than when pregnant. Now you’ll just hear “sleep when the baby sleeps” as the bee saying you hate! Lol good luck!

 

[humblechristian08]

@ugostrange I feel it’s better quality sleep even if the quantity is in short microbursts. I don’t feel like a planet and I can easily move in different positions.

 

[kingar]

@ugostrange Yeah it's real lol. I had baby in a bassinet next to the bed. At first, I'd wake ALL THE WAY UP, sit up, pick her up, hold her to myself to nurse back to sleep. Then I couldn't go back to sleep. Eventually, it went like this: baby cry, me drag her into bed and let her nurse there while I laid on my side half sleeping. It was WONDERFUL.

 

[alittlebroken]

@kingar I ended up doing something similar. I swore I'd never "co-sleep", but this was the only way I could get any amount of sleep. Even then, I wouldn't fall asleep with him in bed with me, but I could at least stay semi-asleep and rest and fall back asleep easier once he was done eating.

 

[kingar]

@alittlebroken Ha me too! So, WAY before I every thought of having kids, I watches the saddest episode of Law and Order where this obese woman (I think 400-500 lbs) was arrested for killing her baby. She let them believe she smothered her baby with a pillow bc she was so horrified at what really happened: she rolled over on the baby in her sleep. When she finally came clean, that actress...whoo...her heartbreak was so devastating. It was just an accident, but she believed she deserved life in prison.

Sooooo ff like 10years and I'm preggo with my first. That is literally all I thought about! I KNEW I wasn't going to co-sleep! But, yeah...a few weeks in, I found myself just dragging her into bed with me and falling asleep while she fed. I'd remove the blankets and pillows. But it was still a risk. I wasn't a large person, but when your baby is tiny like that, it feels like they are so fragile! Anyway, I'll still use caution, but I'm not as freaked out about it now.

 

[alittlebroken]

@kingar Yep. I had 2 nights in a row where he just would not sleep. I was sick to my stomach and almost delusional from lack of sleep. I was honestly nervous about my ability to care for the babe because I was soooo sleep deprived. I was able to take a really long nap while someone else watched him and I caught up on my sleep -- but I decided then and there that I cannot let myself get that way again. If I need to bring the baby to bed with me so that I can get a little bit of sleep, then that's fine. The risk of safely co-sleeping outweighs the risk of a sleep deprived mom caring for a newborn during the day. Sleep is essential. If there were to be an emergency I need to be able to drive and think critically. I need to be able to carry the babe without tripping or knocking his head into the wall because I'm not paying attention to my surroundings (things that almost happened). So, yeah, I'm not an advocate for co-sleeping, but I do feel it is the only option at times.

(For the record, I only did it a few times and when nothing else worked).

 

[kingar]

@alittlebroken To your point, on our mommy boards, there was a woman (struggling HARD with ppd ) who took her baby to the couch in the middle of the night to feed, and fell asleep while holding him, and he rolled out of her arms to the ground and woke her up when he started screaming. He was fine. Good lungs lol.

But she felt guilty as hell, and we all tried to convince her that sleep deprivation really exacerbates PPD, and it was more healthy for her to find a way to get some sleep and stay healthy, rather than listen to moms bitch on the boards that you're going to kill your baby if you co-sleep.

Now I'm going to be an STM, and I wish I would've taken the advice of all the cool as cucumbers old hat mamas out there, who somehow got to the point that they were aware of risks, found ways to mitigate them, were confident in their choices. Would've saved me so much grief.

 

[alittlebroken]

@kingar Oh gosh! That is always something I'm terrified of . This is why I won't let myself get comfortable with co-sleeping and definitely won't do it if I'm severally sleep deprived. The newborn stage is so hard though, I feel for all us moms just trying to get by

 

[tubmanaxton]

@kingar There’s actually a case where an obese aunt was convicted of sitting on her two year old nephew and killing him. Turns out she didn’t do it and the mom killed her son. Just had to throw that random true-crime fact out there because I’m sure that’s where that episode derived from!

 

[kingar]

@tubmanaxton I knew it must've been from a real case! That's crazy and awful

 

[frknfly]

@ugostrange I’m 3 weeks postpartum too, solidarity, mama!!! I’m so tired!!! Lol

 

[ugostrange]

@frknfly Yes! It's so worth it though!!!

 

[alittlebroken]

@ugostrange I'm just at 5 weeks post-partum and struggling bad. I was 100% on the same page as OP with my last pregnancy, it was so horrible and I was so sick and miserable that the newborn phase was really not all that bad (from what I remember). That was 6 years ago though. Now? I'm wondering what the hell I was thinking. Pregnancy sleep sucks, but so does what I'm dealing with now. Going on 35+ days of no more than 45 minute cat naps is making me feel like I'm going insane. And the first 3 weeks I was breastfeeding and then weaning, so my breasts were painful, heavy, engorged, I ended up with a clogged duct. I couldn't sleep on my belly or sides because my boobs were so sore. I was leaking all over myself and sweating like crazy. It was awful. I just now feel better now that my boobs are no longer producing (much) milk. But the sleep deprivation is unreal.

All this to say - neither pregnancy or post-partum sleep are worse than the other. Both are terrible. So anyone who says "sleep now before the baby gets here!" can fuck off. It's all hard. And you don't get your body back after baby arrives either, unless you plan on formula feeding from day one (which I did with my first child - which is likely why I thought it was much easier). So, your body is still a mess and uncomfortable and being used by another being.

 

[pinkrose12121]

@pinkflower I just volunteered to look after an orphan lamb. Why? Because I’m awake all night anyway so why not.

 

[davcox]

@pinkrose12121 Bahahahahah!!! I love this

 

[metalminister]

@pinkrose12121 thanks for this made me laugh and I’ve spent the whole day crying today first time I laughed all day and it’s nearly 5pm here

 

[pinkrose12121]

@metalminister Just did the 3am lamb feed here, all is well. Hope you get a great sleep tonight.

 

[metalminister]

@pinkrose12121 aw please !
Edit: forgot to say thank you, you too