@lightspeed2slow I am also a single parent of a 4year old for 3 years now, i know it's lonely and very exhausting sometimes but you need the time off of any relationship to build yourself and care for your children. If the problems are arising early on your relationship with your new man don't ignore the redflags waving at your face because it'll cause you trauma later on the long run . It's hard being alone trying to figure out everthing and taking care of the kids but you got this . Always always think of the welfare and safety of your kids before you allow someone in your home.
Seeking advice: Dating as a coparenting single mom, in a complicated relationship
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@lightspeed2slow So many red flags here. Please, please think of your children. That’s the only thing I will say here. With this actual situation of abuse of kids by the hands of a stepdad or stepmom, we as moms need to be careful. The drinking problem won’t go away like that. That’s is a problem that takes a lot to overcome. Please, your children deserve better. .
@lightspeed2slow Red flags 
listen to your intuition. Kick him to the curb for now. What the future holds who knows. This time in your life has to be about you and your kids.
listen to your intuition. Kick him to the curb for now. What the future holds who knows. This time in your life has to be about you and your kids.@lightspeed2slow Do not move in with a man until you have been dating at least a year. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and I enjoy living apart and focusing on my kids when they are with me
calebsmithalaska
New member
@lightspeed2slow My kids are 17,16,and 14. I’ve been single for six years. I would have to know someone for probably two years before I introduced them to my kids -I’d honestly rather stay single than worry about a man’s behavior changing the energy in my home. Take some time to be single -to find out who you are! His behavior is not going to get better. How would you feel if your ex had a girlfriend around your children who behaved this way ?
@lightspeed2slow Anyone who is around your kids during your parenting time is part of the world you're creating for them.
A new partner wouldn't necessarily have to do any heavy lifting parenting wise, but needs to model being a positive person and present warm nurturing energy around young children.
Also, as much as the kids are not his primary responsibility, it's still very important to model positive adult relationships with good communication and sharing of tasks at hand. If you're doing a lot of hands on parenting then the dude needs to be cooking dinner Etc..
A new partner wouldn't necessarily have to do any heavy lifting parenting wise, but needs to model being a positive person and present warm nurturing energy around young children.
Also, as much as the kids are not his primary responsibility, it's still very important to model positive adult relationships with good communication and sharing of tasks at hand. If you're doing a lot of hands on parenting then the dude needs to be cooking dinner Etc..
@lightspeed2slow I only got to your second paragraph and all I can say is head for the hills. You already have enough on your plate. Is being in a relationship that important?
@lightspeed2slow My issue is that your kids are learning to live with mommy and daddy living in separate places for the first time and are way to young to understand that practically right after he moved out then another guy moves in. You did not have time to repair yourself mentally and learn to navigate single life while co parenting. Personally I respect the ex cause I would expect him to have a problem with the safety of his children with a guy you barely know moving in. We see it every day in the news. And what makes these situations where the bf loses it? Well drugs or alcohol usually and we already know he’s using one. I personally feel like your an adult and you make your own decisions but you don’t get to be reckless with your babies
You already know the answer to your questions that’s why you asked. Get him out of your home before he comes home drunk and angry and does something that you will regret later. If he can sober up and make changes maybe you can try again later. While living separate.
You already know the answer to your questions that’s why you asked. Get him out of your home before he comes home drunk and angry and does something that you will regret later. If he can sober up and make changes maybe you can try again later. While living separate.
godandpackersfan1488
New member
@lightspeed2slow Drop current boy friend like a bad habit.
You really need help making that decision?
American women and self-reflection - oxymoron.
So you married a good guy, and then you friend zoned him. Nice work.
Concentrate in your children.
You s@#k at picking men,
Just hook up when you feel the need.
Keep trying to pair up or you'll eventually find yourself in a real catastrophe.
Please seek help for your drama addiction. It's attracting a lot of unnecessary turmoil into your life.
Good luck, you'll need
You really need help making that decision?
American women and self-reflection - oxymoron.
So you married a good guy, and then you friend zoned him. Nice work.
Concentrate in your children.
You s@#k at picking men,
Just hook up when you feel the need.
Keep trying to pair up or you'll eventually find yourself in a real catastrophe.
Please seek help for your drama addiction. It's attracting a lot of unnecessary turmoil into your life.
Good luck, you'll need
@lightspeed2slow Please reach out to a child psychologist to help you figure out what’s best for the children. Don’t trust redditors with their future.