@dreamer30 Just a thought- could the nausea possibly be low blood sugar? It may be she's also not quite getting enough calories to meet baby's demand?
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New dad here, please help. Seeking advice from those with experience in this situation. TIA
- Thread starter dreamer30
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@dreamer30 Even when everything is going well, breastfeeding in the beginning can be hard. Having a partner that supports and encourages the breastfeeding makes a huge difference. It sounds like you and your wife are a great team and you’re paying attention to her physical and emotional needs as well as what your baby needs. Just hang in there, it will get better!
@dreamer30 You'll get a lot of good advice here. Can I just say, I love how you are researching this for her & your baby. You are already being a wonderful dad & partner. It's probably my hormones but it's making me choke up that so many more men these days are completely involved in everything baby, including breastfeeding troubleshooting. Also please make sure you are attending to your mental health too. Men can get post partum depression and/or anxiety too.
marcelmind
New member
@dreamer30 Yes, definitely she can get back to ebf!
Keep her with a tall drink everywhere she nurses. My husband and I worked out a system - anytime I sat down to nurse he'd go get me a drink. As soon as baby was done nursing, he'd take the baby and do the burping and then diaper change. Sometimes burping could take a long as nursing, so him doing that part gave me way more of a break.
Nursing every 2-3 hours might not be enough in the newborn stage. The more frequently breasts are emptied, the faster they produce milk. It's not uncommon for newborns to want to nurse every hour, and that doesn't mean she's not making enough milk. Soft breasts are also not an indicator of no milk. As time goes on, that "full/hard" feeling goes away and stops happening. Engorgement is not always a part of breastfeeding, especially if baby is nursing regularly.
When my husband went back to work, he'd pack his lunch for work and he'd also pack lunch for me! Even though I was home, because nursing the baby was so time consuming and burping and diaper changes, I often only had 10-20 minutes "off" and that might be enough time to make myself a snack, but it wasn't enough time to also eat it. So having food I could just grab at eat was very supportive. We also did more crock pot meals in the baby stage because they stayed hot and I could go grab a bowl of soup or chili as time allowed without being stuck eating another cold meal once baby was finally done nursing.
Self-care is HARD when newborns are so needy. Your wife's job is to feed baby. You need to make sure your wife has the support she needs to stay fed and hydrated and get rest when she can.
Oh one more thing - we found that my favorite way to pump was to setup the pump on one side and nurse baby on the other side. The baby helped me get a better letdown so even though I only pumped one side, I got just as much or more milk, than pumping both sides without baby. Plus it didn't take more time and not only was I nursing baby but I was also pumping so it just seemed easier that way, but the first few times I did it, I definitely felt like I needed 4 hands and my husband's help figuring out the right setup with pillows and passing me the baby (football hold nursing worked best for this) and even turning on the pump.
Keep her with a tall drink everywhere she nurses. My husband and I worked out a system - anytime I sat down to nurse he'd go get me a drink. As soon as baby was done nursing, he'd take the baby and do the burping and then diaper change. Sometimes burping could take a long as nursing, so him doing that part gave me way more of a break.
Nursing every 2-3 hours might not be enough in the newborn stage. The more frequently breasts are emptied, the faster they produce milk. It's not uncommon for newborns to want to nurse every hour, and that doesn't mean she's not making enough milk. Soft breasts are also not an indicator of no milk. As time goes on, that "full/hard" feeling goes away and stops happening. Engorgement is not always a part of breastfeeding, especially if baby is nursing regularly.
When my husband went back to work, he'd pack his lunch for work and he'd also pack lunch for me! Even though I was home, because nursing the baby was so time consuming and burping and diaper changes, I often only had 10-20 minutes "off" and that might be enough time to make myself a snack, but it wasn't enough time to also eat it. So having food I could just grab at eat was very supportive. We also did more crock pot meals in the baby stage because they stayed hot and I could go grab a bowl of soup or chili as time allowed without being stuck eating another cold meal once baby was finally done nursing.
Self-care is HARD when newborns are so needy. Your wife's job is to feed baby. You need to make sure your wife has the support she needs to stay fed and hydrated and get rest when she can.
Oh one more thing - we found that my favorite way to pump was to setup the pump on one side and nurse baby on the other side. The baby helped me get a better letdown so even though I only pumped one side, I got just as much or more milk, than pumping both sides without baby. Plus it didn't take more time and not only was I nursing baby but I was also pumping so it just seemed easier that way, but the first few times I did it, I definitely felt like I needed 4 hands and my husband's help figuring out the right setup with pillows and passing me the baby (football hold nursing worked best for this) and even turning on the pump.
emeraldfields
New member
@dreamer30 Water water water! I drink at least 120 oz a day. Oats and a high protein diet(100g+ daily) also, I've heard fenugreek can actually decrease supply ci would try Lactaction treats and supplements without that ingredient
inquiringmama
New member
@dreamer30 Hops tea.
Hops water. Barley (soup). So beer too. I'm not joking. There was a post a few months ago where a breastfeding mother found that hops tea made her supply skyrocket. Maybe it'll work for your wife. Imma try and find the original link sec.
Here it is:
https://reddit.com/r/breastfeeding/s/TWFfVqpp7H
My personal advice is to just keep your baby on the wife's boobs. I'm not a professional, but baby is always gonna be better at extracting milk from the mom better than any pump. You can help by feeding your wife, holding her drink, changing diapers, holding the baby when your wife uses the restroom, etc, maybe finding new stuffs for her to binge watch. I wish you two the best.
Hops water. Barley (soup). So beer too. I'm not joking. There was a post a few months ago where a breastfeding mother found that hops tea made her supply skyrocket. Maybe it'll work for your wife. Imma try and find the original link sec.
Here it is:
https://reddit.com/r/breastfeeding/s/TWFfVqpp7H
My personal advice is to just keep your baby on the wife's boobs. I'm not a professional, but baby is always gonna be better at extracting milk from the mom better than any pump. You can help by feeding your wife, holding her drink, changing diapers, holding the baby when your wife uses the restroom, etc, maybe finding new stuffs for her to binge watch. I wish you two the best.
@inquiringmama Great info! I’m going to look into the hops tea and water. I looked at that post and those results are incredible! Thanks again for your help.
jenmelania0
New member
@dreamer30 None of the supplements have any evidence to back them up, don’t bother with those. Your wife should only take care of the baby, and it’s your job to take care of your wife, the baby, yourself. Nothing else matters other than water, food, and sleep for the three of you. In the early days the need for water and food for a nursing mother is insane, and it seems like your wife really has trouble meeting her own needs. Make sure there are always water bottles and energy bars within reach of your wife and keep track as best as you can of her intake. She should really be drinking and eating during every nursing session, that’s an easy way to remember. Good luck!
@dreamer30 Just as a thought on the nausea, look up DMER I'm currently breastfeeding my 17 month old and from a few days postpartum I've felt nauseous every time I get a letdown, even though though thankfully it's not as severe. Id have to have cold water to sip on through every letdown. I didn't have this with my first so it's been rough but gotten easier.
Pumping on the other hand is NOT an indicator of supply, a baby is a lot more efficient at getting milk than a pump. Most pumps have the wrong flange size for most people included so look up measuring for a flange.
Soft breasts also do not equal empty, a breast is constantly making milk. I was only saying to my partner this week that I don't remember feeling at all engorged in the early days with my second and obviously everything was ok. Wet and dirty nappys is a better indication.
If you can afford it please please call an ibclc for some support! They are qualified to help and reassure you!
Pumping on the other hand is NOT an indicator of supply, a baby is a lot more efficient at getting milk than a pump. Most pumps have the wrong flange size for most people included so look up measuring for a flange.
Soft breasts also do not equal empty, a breast is constantly making milk. I was only saying to my partner this week that I don't remember feeling at all engorged in the early days with my second and obviously everything was ok. Wet and dirty nappys is a better indication.
If you can afford it please please call an ibclc for some support! They are qualified to help and reassure you!
goldandsilver
New member
@dreamer30 Rebuilding supply after a dip can take time! I understand y'all are panicked and sleep deprived, but if you can, take a deep breath. Come up with a sustainable plan to increase supply, a schedule that your wife can do for at least a week without losing sleep or stressing herself out. Supplement for now, and give her body time to respond. Hormone fluctuations are weird…my supply dipped randomly when my son was around 5 months, and it took about 10 days for my body to respond to the extra pumping and whatnot I was doing.
In short, it sounds like you’re treating this like a sprint, but it’s a marathon. Build a schedule and habits, and give her supply time to respond and regulate.
In short, it sounds like you’re treating this like a sprint, but it’s a marathon. Build a schedule and habits, and give her supply time to respond and regulate.
@dreamer30 plenty of great advice already: lots of latching, even when breasts feel soft, all the food and water, and keep this up (it's not just those first days, she'll need this for a while. I had about 3 to 4 litres of water daily in those first weeks). Check out the Weleda Nursing Tea. I had the recommended two cups each day, and I feel like it really helped me to up my supply. You can also use a Hakkaa or Elvie curve to collect milk from the breast that isn't being nursed. It's not like actual pumping, but there's light suction, and it minimally stimulates production without overdoing it and being as time-consuming as pumping. You guys are doing great, and I'm sure you'll get back into it!
@dreamer30 I'm ebf at 5 months, but definitely had issues with supply early on after a rough 48 hour induction and complications for me and baby which meant I couldn't feed her, be with her, or even pump for 8 hours after birth.
I supplemented until she was... 6 weeks old maybe? I struggled to eat, drink and sleep for about a week or two Pp. No appetite, night terrors, insomnia, plus the hormonal crash and side effects from all the hospital meds. I was really backed up and some prune juice and... I forget what it's called, the medicine that dissolves clear in water that helps you poop? Helped a lot, and I was able to start eating better again.
2 oz for a power pump is not bad this early on! I power pumped daily for a week to help get my supply up, and I would often get half an ounce or less, but it did help. I made sure to drink a gallon of water every day and for a while ate oatmeal to help. Never did any of the special supplements like fenugreek or anything. I pumped for 15-20 minutes after most daytime feeds. I fed as often as baby wanted, but once a day either my mom, MIL or husband would take baby for 4 hours while I slept and feed her donor milk if she needed it. I think the rest helped more than one fewer breastfeeding sessions a day hurt.
You are doing good. Even if you are supplementing baby is still getting the benefits of breastfeeding. Even if you have to go full formula (but if your wife is pumping 2 oz with a power pump 8 days postpartum I don't think you'll have to) that is not a moral failing. Sometimes bodies don't body how we want them to body. And no one prepared me for the extra obstacles to breastfeeding I would have with an induced labor.
One note - I would not still be breastfeeding if it wasn't for my husband. He pushed me not to give up and reminded me of all the benefits of breastfeeding and how he wanted our daughter to have them. And at times I HATED him for it, no joke. I just wanted to switch to formula and sleep for eight hours (or days) straight.
His insistence and support got us here to a light but healthy ebf 5 month old. But also I sometimes feel like he pushed a little too hard and I still resent it. I guess what I'm saying is your support here is critical, but it's a balance. Since she's the one breastfeeding and recovering from surgery, she is working harder than you. If she decides she's done, that's up to her. You can encourage, you can offer the option of combo feeding to whatever degree is appropriate. But she decides how much and how long to breastfeed.
I supplemented until she was... 6 weeks old maybe? I struggled to eat, drink and sleep for about a week or two Pp. No appetite, night terrors, insomnia, plus the hormonal crash and side effects from all the hospital meds. I was really backed up and some prune juice and... I forget what it's called, the medicine that dissolves clear in water that helps you poop? Helped a lot, and I was able to start eating better again.
2 oz for a power pump is not bad this early on! I power pumped daily for a week to help get my supply up, and I would often get half an ounce or less, but it did help. I made sure to drink a gallon of water every day and for a while ate oatmeal to help. Never did any of the special supplements like fenugreek or anything. I pumped for 15-20 minutes after most daytime feeds. I fed as often as baby wanted, but once a day either my mom, MIL or husband would take baby for 4 hours while I slept and feed her donor milk if she needed it. I think the rest helped more than one fewer breastfeeding sessions a day hurt.
You are doing good. Even if you are supplementing baby is still getting the benefits of breastfeeding. Even if you have to go full formula (but if your wife is pumping 2 oz with a power pump 8 days postpartum I don't think you'll have to) that is not a moral failing. Sometimes bodies don't body how we want them to body. And no one prepared me for the extra obstacles to breastfeeding I would have with an induced labor.
One note - I would not still be breastfeeding if it wasn't for my husband. He pushed me not to give up and reminded me of all the benefits of breastfeeding and how he wanted our daughter to have them. And at times I HATED him for it, no joke. I just wanted to switch to formula and sleep for eight hours (or days) straight.
His insistence and support got us here to a light but healthy ebf 5 month old. But also I sometimes feel like he pushed a little too hard and I still resent it. I guess what I'm saying is your support here is critical, but it's a balance. Since she's the one breastfeeding and recovering from surgery, she is working harder than you. If she decides she's done, that's up to her. You can encourage, you can offer the option of combo feeding to whatever degree is appropriate. But she decides how much and how long to breastfeed.
@dreamer30 Someone has prob already said this but fenugreek can actually hinder supply in some cases. I like body armor drinks and malt chocolate Ovaltine. Also nettle tea and chamomile tea have helped me
cyber_muscles
New member
@dreamer30 Add in oatmeal. How much water she’s drinking, double it. Add in coconut water or body armour. I’d drop the prime and just stick to one hydration drink since they’re mostly sugar. Continue her prenatals and nurse as often as LO wants. That’s what ultimately builds her supply. Y’all are doing great and will get through this!!!!
@dreamer30 You’ve already received excellent advice on here, but I’d just like to encourage you to keep up the good work supporting your wife and baby’s breastfeeding journey! You are on the right path, I hope you guys will be smooth sailing with everything soon enough!
@dreamer30 Firstly, I’m so happy you are being such a supportive partner.
It can all be really stressful at first, and honestly, stress can be a big supply killer. My advice would be to take a big pause on all the pumping etc. reduce the stress and try to get her as much rest (and sleep) as possible. Just keep putting the baby to breast every feed, then supplement after (that order is important for keeping supply). Sometimes getting sleep, rest (and yes of course hydration) is a huge game changer. It’s a slow process that requires a lot of patience.
And don’t let the supplementing make your anxiety go wild. Our second son was combo fed for his first month, then we were able to switch him fully to the breast after that. Getting sleep was a HUGE step in that direction. I know not everyone will have that same journey, but reducing the stress was such a help.
It can all be really stressful at first, and honestly, stress can be a big supply killer. My advice would be to take a big pause on all the pumping etc. reduce the stress and try to get her as much rest (and sleep) as possible. Just keep putting the baby to breast every feed, then supplement after (that order is important for keeping supply). Sometimes getting sleep, rest (and yes of course hydration) is a huge game changer. It’s a slow process that requires a lot of patience.
And don’t let the supplementing make your anxiety go wild. Our second son was combo fed for his first month, then we were able to switch him fully to the breast after that. Getting sleep was a HUGE step in that direction. I know not everyone will have that same journey, but reducing the stress was such a help.
@dreamer30 Yes. Think of the formula as a medication. It’s temporary and necessary for your baby’s health. This is what my lactation consultant told me and it really helped.
We only had to supplement for about a week before the baby could ebf. He ebf until 20 months. Don’t get discouraged. This can be salvaged.
I recommend drinking coconut water. Also a little known milk booster is carrots. They work so well!
We only had to supplement for about a week before the baby could ebf. He ebf until 20 months. Don’t get discouraged. This can be salvaged.
I recommend drinking coconut water. Also a little known milk booster is carrots. They work so well!
@dreamer30 Lots of great info in here. Came to add a little I didn’t see or maybe missed in the comments above.
-Look up videos on pace feeding, for when you need to use a bottle. That way the babe doesn’t get used to a faster flow and refuse the breast later. There’s also a slower nipple than the slow flow level one. It’s called a “transition” nipple. If you’re scheduled to see a lactation consultant they should have some. Ask for one.
-Diet. Some spices/herbs can really effect supply. Some people notice a minor dip when they have Italian seasonings. For me it has a major effect that takes awhile to rebuild.
-Look up videos on pace feeding, for when you need to use a bottle. That way the babe doesn’t get used to a faster flow and refuse the breast later. There’s also a slower nipple than the slow flow level one. It’s called a “transition” nipple. If you’re scheduled to see a lactation consultant they should have some. Ask for one.
-Diet. Some spices/herbs can really effect supply. Some people notice a minor dip when they have Italian seasonings. For me it has a major effect that takes awhile to rebuild.
- Someone mentioned flanges for the pump. This can be a big help in getting the right size. Less pain. Better pumping session.
david36reb
New member
@dreamer30 IBCLC here lurking on Daddit…
Have you guys seen a lactation consultant? A lot of what you’d washing sounds like sound LC provided advice but I like to sees someone. If not, it’s really crucial, in my opinion, that she does. Lactation care should be provided for everyone but especially with folks facing speed bumps along the journey.
To answer your question, yes. It’s possible. The first few weeks are about building and maintaining a milk supply. Lots of skin to skin, lots of bringing baby to breast to latch/ pumping (triple feeding.)
You mention power pumping - that’s a great bandaid and something I wouldn’t want her doing unless she’s working with an LC.
Also. A proper flange fitting; you wouldn’t believe how much of a difference a solidly fit flange makes.
Happy to answer any other questions. And snaps to you for being a rockstar partner through this!
Have you guys seen a lactation consultant? A lot of what you’d washing sounds like sound LC provided advice but I like to sees someone. If not, it’s really crucial, in my opinion, that she does. Lactation care should be provided for everyone but especially with folks facing speed bumps along the journey.
To answer your question, yes. It’s possible. The first few weeks are about building and maintaining a milk supply. Lots of skin to skin, lots of bringing baby to breast to latch/ pumping (triple feeding.)
You mention power pumping - that’s a great bandaid and something I wouldn’t want her doing unless she’s working with an LC.
Also. A proper flange fitting; you wouldn’t believe how much of a difference a solidly fit flange makes.
Happy to answer any other questions. And snaps to you for being a rockstar partner through this!
dandydandelion
New member
@dreamer30 Make sure she takes all the vitamins!!! If she is prone to headaches, I recommend magnesium. I couldn't function without it in the early days. But her prenatal vitamin and a vitamin d supplement would also be important!
It's so hard, but try not to stress too much. Stress can cause dips in milk supply as well. It would also be worth it to check out a lactation consultant or breastfeeding supports. I recommend finding some virtual supports too if you're active on social media, I recommend "the breast feeding mentor", "la Leche league" and "the lactation hub" as good starters.
The most important thing can be supports, and it sounds like you are doing what you can to support her!
It's so hard, but try not to stress too much. Stress can cause dips in milk supply as well. It would also be worth it to check out a lactation consultant or breastfeeding supports. I recommend finding some virtual supports too if you're active on social media, I recommend "the breast feeding mentor", "la Leche league" and "the lactation hub" as good starters.
The most important thing can be supports, and it sounds like you are doing what you can to support her!
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