18 month old STILL won’t sleep and I’m at breaking point. Desperately seeking advice

[pastor_rob]

@brh1989 So glad you’re feeling better, I can definitely give this a go too

 

[brh1989]

@pastor_rob Let me know if you have any questions! I wasn't comfortable with Ferber or CIO and was having lots of fights with husband and pressure from MIL but I am so glad that I stuck to my guns. Chair method and not picking him up did not work. Comforting him physically was best and he goes down so easily now and has gone from waking up 2-3x to once at 1 or 2am and then maybe one other time at 5 or 6 or even not at all until the morning! It's a huge improvement!

 

[neostarwcc]

@brh1989 Can you share more about your experience? What did the first few nights of pick up, put down go like?

 

[brh1989]

@neostarwcc Yes! So just a background we are on one nap and a late schedule (wake up at 8am, nap at 12-2pm, asleep by 9:30pm), we are trying to move earlier but for ease of training we are staying late. For bedtime I made sure to feed him first then books, them hold and sing, then the key is to put him down awake (he's drowsy but awake).

Night 1 it took maybe 15 minutes of picking up to soothe when he cried and stood up, then putting down after he was come, night 2 10 min, then it started to only take 2 min!! Then only 2 pick ups, and now he goes down easily, maybe one pick up. This was all with binky btw..

One early mistake is we tried to do it in the middle of the night instead of feeding, that was a disaster. But subsequently we fed him if it had been 3 hours or dad would rock if it was less than 3 hours.

He is as happy and snuggly as ever and I feel like he knows mama and dada are always there for him!!

 

[foreverbeach11]

@pastor_rob I feel for you!! If she's wriggling about so much is she windy at all? Just thinking if she had something to eat right before bed that was giving her wind and then she's uncomfortable? Is it possible to put a roll up mattress or blanket beside your bed or in your room and have her sleep on the floor? Then she would be close but not within kicking distance? From my LO was that age she was probably sleeping like 11 hours total, a daytime nap of maybe an hour then down at about 8:30PM, up about 3AM and back down until anytime from 6AM. If that daytime nap went longer then nighttime was chaos!! If she has a long sleep one night then the next night she would sleep less. If I ever put her down early she would wake up at like 2AM ready for the day. Is it possible your LO needs a later bedtime? I felt like I constantly saw sleep schedules etc showing a 7PM bedtime but it never worked for us, mentally it was difficult to let go of this idea lol I would have loved a few hours to myself in the evening! It's so hard, i hope you are getting proper support and rest every minute you can.

 

[gospeljb]

@pastor_rob We moved when my baby was less than a year old and it definitely messed with his sleep. It was a cross country move, with a road trip. And then we stayed with my in laws for a few months until we found a house.

He slept terribly at my in laws, even though we were there for so long. I never figured out why, we tried multiple different rooms, different map times, bedtimes, etc. Once we got to our new house and got unpacked his sleep started to improve.

I have read that being scared of the dark can start around that age. Maybe a night light would help? Instead of making it darker. I can imagine that if you’re in a new place, the dark is scarier than normal.

I would probably also look at adjusting naptime. When my son has a bad nap, bedtime is also bad. If you’re still on 2 naps, maybe try going down to one.

 

[pastor_rob]

@gospeljb Yeah it makes sense I guess, it’s a huge and strange thing. Just frustrating cause like…when will she be settled if not now?! Sadly it doesn’t matter if she naps well or badly, the nighttime sleep is anyone’s guess lol. Will defo stick a nightlight in there and see if that helps tho, thanks

 

[agent47]

@pastor_rob No advice just sympathy from the mom of a preschooler who has only slept through the night once. Now we transferred my now almost 4 year old to her own twin bed several months ago but I end up sleeping with her when she wakes sometime between 12 and 3. She also likes to insist we go to the living room sofa which I don't understand and she can't seem to explain why she wants to go out.

 

[pastor_rob]

@agent47 Big hugs to you. I may end up in the same boat! One day they’ll sleep…one day. Take care x

 

[pastor_rob]

@agent47 Big hugs to you. I may end up in the same boat! One day they’ll sleep…one day. Take care

 

[sherwood4400]

@pastor_rob Is she in childcare? Waking in the night can be due to thread worms - gross, I know, but worth checking for!

 

[pastor_rob]

@sherwood4400 No but we go to lots of playgroups. Will be checking her poo tomorrow ! Yay!

 

[a3yan]

@pastor_rob Try The Beyond Sleep Training Project group on Facebook they’re amazing and have experts to give great advice. They’ve saved me through multiple sleep needs changes of my son who is a naturally difficult sleeper but we’ve found great ways there to change his sleep. Obviously they’re gentle, attachment focused so no Cio or sleep training will be pushed on you.

 

[cutin]

@pastor_rob To me it sounds like she might need less in the way of naps or she might be hungry.

You could try bringing a small snack to bed like a sandwich.

Also look at timing of dinner, if it's too late and she's tired that might not work. You could offer something earlier and then add a top up snack before bed like some porridge.