New dad here, please help. Seeking advice from those with experience in this situation. TIA

[dreamer30]

@dandydandelion Thank you, we will check those places out!

 

[hischild1002]

@dreamer30 A word of encouragement for you from a mom that is getting back to breastfeeding. My baby is 10 weeks old and the initial stress from the c-section, and fighting everything else out was too much for me to be EBF along with dealing with tongue tie, supply issues, milk blebs, clogged ducts, sleep deprivation, thrush from post op antibiotics, and everything else under the sun. Your wife is still freshly postpartum and it’s perfectly ok to need to supplement with formula during this time of transition. Baby is getting fed and it’s ok if it gives you and your wife a breather. Baby will continue nursing to help prompt her body to make more milk. My 10 week old nurses almost all day now that I’m putting her to breast during the day because she exhausts herself getting milk due to her tongue tie. If you have concerns as things go forward, consult with an IBCLC and find one you like and can form a good relationship with long term.

If supplementing with formula allows you both to relax and adjust easier during the hardest part of the crash landing into being first time parents, think of it as a parachute to help soften the blow of the landing until you get your feet back under you. I’m a first time mom, and that’s what it did for me. It saved my mental heath at more than one point. I’m still struggling with supply, but it’s never too late for our bodies to adjust to the needs of our babies. You’ll be told that this is a critical point, and in some ways it is, but take a breath and know that it will be ok if it takes you and your wife and baby longer than what you think to adjust to this madness of breastfeeding, milk supply, cluster feeding, and everything else. Go easy on yourselves and don’t let the pressures of breastfeeding steal away the rest and ease that is key to being able to enjoy the journey. It’s a long one, so just know you are both doing the most, doing your best and you don’t have to make room in your minds and lives for parent guilt.

 

[dreamer30]

@hischild1002 Wow you said that perfectly. It’s been a tough day since I originally posted this and I’m still rummaging through the comments. Yours is spot on. So much so, after today being so difficult, we just said f it and gave 2 oz of formula without stressing BF for our midnight feeding. We decided it was better to help solidify a 3-4 hour stretch of sleep vs get an ounce of milk out and turn around and still have to give formula.

Thank you for your comment. I love the parachute analogy. Best of luck in your BF journey and congratulations on your LO. I pray you have brighter days ahead and your body continues to communicate and adjust in the ways you and your baby need it to.

 

[nodoubts]

@dreamer30 Hey there new Dad! My biggest advice I can give you is to please please go take your wife and son to a certified lacation consultant! As much as Drs and Pds can be helpful they have very minimal training when it comes to breastfeeding (less than ten hours of info about breastfeeding throughout their entire course). I strongly belive that seeing a specialist will be able to help you three immensely, it's still early on so the sooner you see a LC the better! But really it is never too late, and it's still early on and it's your first time so don't stress too much!

 

[bathindian]

@dreamer30 Oat milk helps my supply go up every time!

 

[nonaeroterraqueous]

@dreamer30 Everything sounds totally normal to me! Her supply is regulating. Your breasts are not supposed to feel hard and engorged forever. Our hospital lactation consultant said for the first three days your milk is in, your body is determining how much it needs to make - and because your uterus didn’t tell your brain how many babies you had, your body guesses you had triplets and makes enough milk to sustain them. Her body just figured out she only had one and doesn’t need three babies’ worth of milk. If she’s feeding on demand she’s not going to be making much extra, because she’s making all she needs already!

Definitely keep your wife hydrated and fed. But I don’t think you did anything wrong and you’re still totally on track for your EBF journey. He is supposed to fuss at the breast to encourage her milk to keep being made. It’s so hard but trust that your body and the baby are working together and they know what to do.

 

[rescand2]

@dreamer30 I struggled on and off my entire bf journey! It comes back. It's also the most difficult thing I've ever done and I made it to 10 months. When I did it felt like my soul got its light back. Be really supportive and make sure she knows fed is best and it's okay if your plans change.

We have friends who never could breastfeed and their kid and mine are hitting early milestones together, they have been the same amount of sick and you couldn't tell the difference

 

[chosenone1]

@dreamer30 My IBCLC said to pump in the middle of the night and first thing in the morning for the best chances at increasing supply. I also pump while my baby eats (the other side) and my boobs after she eats.

I also have oats in the morning, eat a lot of calories and try to have a lot of protein (working on more per the advice of other moms) and drink over 80oz of water a day.

 

[paul2112]

@dreamer30 This was my exact experience. I'm 8 weeks pp and an enough-producer! It's possible

 

[angelbaby777]

@dreamer30 My milk took about 6 days to come in and was slow at first, only picked up after about 8 days so don't lose hope!! Our IBCLC recommended LOTS of skin to skin, hot showers, heat on the breasts, and protein shakes; can't promise they'll work for your wife but I implemented all of these starting day 6 and have been pumping quite a bit since then. (LO still having latch issues so I am stuck pumping for now) another thing to remember is that your wife is still recovering - she may really need some extra rest!! Good luck!

 

[fredanx]

@dreamer30 Stop the fenugreek immediately ! It is a 50/50 chance of completely tanking her supply or increasing it. It’s not worth it. Try not to stress and i wouldn’t give more than 1oz of formula to make sure not to stretch babes stomach bc he is more than likely still getting milk from her. The nausea can happen with let downs while pumping or breastfeeding and it did for me for the first month or so. Definitely water and magnesium to help with keeping it down or Celtic sea salt to get all the minerals to help her stay hydrated.

 

[luccamanamune]

@dreamer30 Sparing you the details of my own emotional rollercoaster of a breastfeeding journey, I do have a couple of suggestions that could help you:

-goats rue supplement taken diligently has helped to increase my supply
-Tagamet, the heartburn medication apparently has a side effect of increasing prolactin, the hormone that produces milk. My lactation consultant went to a conference a couple of months ago and this was the biggest takeaway!

Otherwise, it sounds like she’s doing everything right! Hydration and eating calorically dense and nutritious foods are most important. Have a big water bottle always available and full, and make a snack basket to keep in each of the rooms she nurses and pumps in filled with granola bars, dried fruits, and other breastfeeding friendly snacks. Good luck!!

 

[modjeski]

@dreamer30 Hi! The first thing I’d say is give yourself some grace, you’re both doing a wonderful job and keeping your baby fed. . That being said, easier said than done considering I had a mental breakdown at 2 am the other night over my milk supply!

I was able to keep up with my LO, but I went back to work last week, and between the new schedule, stress of work and not drinking water throughout the day, I went from pumping 4 oz on each side to a combined 1.5 oz. My supply in the fridge went from 8 bags to 1 in the week, with us just keeping up. It’s a scary feeling when it happens, and I also broke down about formula, so know this happens and you’re not alone.

I called my daughter’s pediatrician and spoke about supplementing with formula. She said my daughter is still getting breast milk, but this just helps to top off that extra bit and give me some relief. We bought the can of formula and having it to know my daughter won’t starve if I run out has been a huge mental relief for me. These are some things that worked for me, and hopefully it works for you, too!

1. Mothers lactation tea- but it sounds like you’re already doing fenugreek!
2. My husband bought me a Stanley and I literally have to drink at least 3 a day to keep up. The amount of water needed is almost comical
3. Oatmeal!
4. After my supply dropped I bought a lactation massager that heats up too. I wear it while I pump and massage myself before. That seemed to really help
5. Lots of sleep (again so much easier said than done). My husband works opposite schedule than me so it’s easier
6. Exclusively pumping for a while over breastfeeding. I found that helped to pull the milk out more than my little one, and I knew how much she was getting then.
7. Lots of calories! I read somewhere online that a day of breastfeeding is equivalent to a 7 mile walk
8. Trying to lower my stress. Again- way easier said than done considering I sobbed for 30 minutes to my husband the other night about it

You are both doing a wonderful job. The fact you’re on Reddit posting for your wife shows how much you both care. My doctors really push “breast is best”, but in reality (and when I called she said this) fed is best. Breastfeeding is a full time job, and just continue doing what you’re doing because you’re both doing what’s right for your son

 

[nb3k]

@dreamer30 I know you’re getting a lot of advice here but just wanted to say breast feeding is more of a long game situation in my opinion. It gets better and easier with time and even those who couldn’t BF initally or had to stop for whatever reason have been able to re-lactate. Coconut water and high calorie high carbohydrates foods help a lot. I do think a good deal of it is hormonal though- nighttime feeds help with that hormone response tremendously. Better to get extra sleep in the day if that’s possible. Hot showers and baths or whatever helps to destress and relax helps.

 

[oppre26]

@dreamer30 Haven’t had a chance to read through all the comments. But three things that got me through the first 12 weeks breastfeeding twins.

1) I told myself “I’ll try today” don’t borrow worry from tomorrow just focus on the day in front of you.

2) My bf support taught me feed, change, feed, top up. Feed till they fall off, change their nappy, feed till they fall off. Then top up with formula or expressed milk if they are still hungry. This kept my sanity.

3) don’t watch the pump. Bf support in hospital covered up my pumps while I was doing it. Which totally reduced the stress if I was producing or not. I continued this at home.

It’s awesome that you’re being supportive, the first 12 weeks I found so exceptionally hard. But with the “I’ll try breast feeding today” thought process one day I just didn’t stress about it and now we’re 6 months in.

 

[cherylmae]

@dreamer30 Keep the power pumping !! Have her pump after baby feeds as well. Prepare this drink for her, 16 oz of water, a full body armor, a packet of liquid IV, & top it off with coconut water !! She should drink this at least once every other day !! Feed her oats & give her carrots to snack on ! They also sell oat cookies that help boost supply !! They sell them at target & online & snacking on 1-3 packs a day BOOSTS your milk !! breastfeeding supplements and those helped me so much too ! I used “legendairy milk” and make sure you’re giving her, prenatal vitamins. She needs to be snacking constantly and drinking a TON. The more she stressed about not being able to produce the less milk she’ll produce. The milk supply WILL come back keep power pumping at least 3 times a day and DO NOT SKIP night pumps. Between the hours of 2:30AM-6AM is when the most milk is produced & the more you pump during those times, the more likely you will build that supply back up !

 

[deborah824]

@dreamer30 I had a v difficult start with BF for different reasons very sleepy baby! As long as you keep removing milk/stimulating supply it should come back. I was still increasing my supply right up to 6 weeks. Formula is a great tool whilst you are establishing supply if needed don’t beat yourselves up over it. I used a bit early on but managed to phase it out completely. Rest, eat and hydrate. If you can do a bottle of pumped/formula milk so you wife can get a block of 4 hours sleep that will also really help her supply! It sounds like you are doing amazing