@eleventhhourworker6 lol! The imagery of that has me cackling great idea though! I plan to wear a tightly fitted button up flannel with a long sleeve nursing shirt under it
@psalm51flower Exactly! There is a lot of fear mongering around bedsharing that really isnāt necessary based on the statistics so long as youāre planning for it safely. You sound like youāre following all of the safety requirements, so Iād think you have a very low risk.
@psalm51flower My LO is just like yours. Happy healthy 4.5 months that is learning to roll but refuses to sleep in anything besides my bed or arms. To help my anxiety (I have PPA) with co-sleeping, I donāt have husband in bed with us, baby is in a onesie and a sleep sack, fan is on and room is between 68-72 F. I used to be the deepest sleeper in the world, but I wake up every time he fusses.
With going back to work, cosleeping has been the best for us both to get the most amount of sleep. He nurses frequently throughout the night (EBF), but I usually just pop a boob in his mouth and we both end up falling asleep like this on some nights as heās going through the sleep regression.
@psalm51flower We have the Owlet, and it has helped me and my husband immensely with the fear of SIDS, especially after having a stillbirth. We havenāt had any false alarms, but we have gotten accurate alerts that he has kicked it off or the connection is lost. Thankfully the alarm for those are very different from the red alerts, so it doesnāt stress us out when they do go off. Plus, they almost exclusively go off when weāre awake anyway to change his diaper or latch, and I suspect that they go off because heās awake enough to mess with it.
@psalm51flower I feel for you, itās so challenging to shed the fear-messaging weāve all been taught (esp in the US).
You alluded to your baby being the epitome of health (great work!), which tells me youāre likely aware that the risks with bed sharing come from studies that included high risk babies and parents who were themselves a risk to the baby.
This NPR article really helped me understand what the risks are for healthy babies and sober parents. I found it super impactful to hear from qualified sources. This allowed me to finally let go of the nerves and give my girl the type of rest and safety that was most meaningful to her.
Worth calling out that we started cosleeping around 4 months as well. Best of luck on your sleeping journey! whatever you decide, youāll get through it!
Idk how to do Imgur from my phone so hopefully this shows up, but this is a helpful look at the actual stats for low risk babies and how it stacks up against other risks
@psalm51flower Iām not trying to convince you to bedshare thatās a very personal decision. Nor am I giving medical advice.
I do know that Absolute risk is very low yes particularly with the precautions you have in place.
SIDS peaks between 1-4 months and rates go down a lot after six months. So you could take that into your considerations as you already brought up.
Also you have to consider other risks like you getting into a car accident or something because you are so tired. Everything is connected, SIDS isnāt the only risk in the world.
@psalm51flower My mother coslept with me and my siblings, my husband was against it initially. I grew up thinking it was normal. I was not getting any sleep until I starting cosleeping. Sheās 14 months and now hubby canāt think of any other way weād do it!
@psalm51flower I love our Owlet. Iāve always had health anxiety and sleep so much better with it on LO. I also love that I can use it for long car rides (40 min) to go see family by myself. I can focus on driving knowing he is being watched, and if itās night I can look back and see the green ring, even when I canāt see him. They recently got FDA clearance too so theyāre able to actually give health alerts too
@psalm51flower I was 10000% sure I would never cosleep, was so terrified of all the horror stories Iād heard. And then the 4 month sleep regression happened for us and our daughter started waking up every 1-2 hours and it was very difficult to get her back down in the crib. So then we attached her crib sidecar style to our bed, and she still wonāt sleep in it. She just wants to be in our bed. So Iāve done a ton of research on how to keep her safe while cosleeping and we even have a new firm mattress coming. She sleeps with a eufy sock (like a cheaper owlet) and we are about to set up our nanit over the bed so she can wear the breathing band. It helps my paranoia and anxiety so much to know sheās monitored, I know Iām a little nuts.
Unfortunately my girl still wakes up every 2 hours and usually does want to eat. My partner and I just split the night most nights (giving 1 bottle of pumped breastmilk) so we can each get about 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Itās not easy but itās our routine for now. Hoping for longer stretches soon but weāll see.
I donāt know if this helps, but just wanted to chime in and say youāre definitely not alone in deciding. It took us a while to come around to it and Iām still nervous most nights. But it is saving our sanity.
@psalm51flower This article analysing the studies that have been done around bedsharing may be of your interest: [Bedsharing may partially explain the reduced risk of sleep-related death in breastfed infants
Many countries have stopped linking bedsharing to higher chances of SIDS, because well, countries were bedsharing is the norm have much lower rates of it than USA. So this article is about how the studies have been done, and how it's more likely that bedsharing with parents that don't use drugs nor smoke actually seems to prevent against SIDS/SUID and also helps breastfeeding (or maybe it is the breastfeeding what prevents agains SIDS/SUID, but since bedsharing promotes longer breastfeeding, it is still positive to bed-share).
@psalm51flower I felt exactly like you. I follow the SS7 as well as other recommendations such as the temperature of the room, sleep with the ceiling fan on, etc. Even so, I was still pretty scared for maybe 3 months wondering if I was doing the right thing and if I was making the right choice. Alone in a crib is just pushed so much, it was a hard decision to commit to. I am so glad I did though. I wish I had done it sooner and trusted myself more.
@psalm51flower I co-slept with my now 4 months old from 1 or 2 weeks PP. We never had any issues. I nurse him and he still wakes up every 2-3 hours to nurse (sometimes even 1 hour), but I pop up the breast - feed him shortly and he falls right back asleep usually. He wakes up so often that I could not manage not co-sleeping. I tried rocking him to sleep and make him sleep in his crib - he would- but my laying down strategy isnāt perfect and he sometimes wakes up when I put him in his crib - aaaand I find it so hard to keep rocking and placing him in his crib as he is 90+ percentile too for height and weight. I tried that, but I just gave up after 2 nights. Plus, he absolutely refuses to sleep in his own crib - he wanted in out bed from 1-2 weeks and would cry if we put him in his bassinet awake. Little dude knew what he wantedā¦
I practice safe sleep - he is on the side of the bed where his crib is attached (we have an attached crib) - sleeping on a big muslim (for hygiene reasons) either in a sleeping bag, nowadays with a light merino wool blanket on his own because itās warm (I have yet to buy him bigger and lighter sleeping bags because he grew so fast - these days soon). I nurse, then retreat further from him to give him space and also use the C position. I am also not as sleep deprived.
I honestly never wanted to co-sleepā¦swore I wouldnāt before I gave birth. I was so afraid of it too. But I have a boob loving baby who wants to sleep in our bed and would always cry when put on his ownā¦did not expect this. And to save our sanity and sleep and not let baby cryā¦ I did it.
@psalm51flower Iāve been co-sleeping pretty much the whole time if sheās already sleeping when we head to bed we lay her in her side car bassinet. But once she wakes to feed sheās in bed with us the rest of the night. However our mattress isnāt on the floor and I do use a blanket on my legs
@psalm51flower Do it! I said Iād never cosleep when I first got pregnant and realized that was probably a lie by the end of pregnancy given how tired I already was from insomnia. And I was right lol. By 3 ish weeks, I tucked her under my arm next to me (on her back) and we slept so good after one long MOTN feed. I didnāt do it regularly at that point but it started to increase once I found this sub and learned about the safe sleep 7. Now she sleeps with me nightly at 3.5 months old. I also work full time and, yes Iām still sleep deprived, but itās way better than the alternative of me trying to get her to sleep in her bassinet. Some nights she wakes twice to eat, sometimes more and she can be quite squirmy at times too but Iām not usually awake for very long once I get her latched. We both fall back to sleep while she nurses. Plus, I get to bond with her and it helps heal my heart a little after spending the day working.
@psalm51flower I started cosleeping during the 4 month regression and never looked back. If he woke we would both still be comfortable and more importantly we would both get back to sleep quicker.
It was especially beneficial when he was sick.
Make sure you follow the safe sleep 7 and enjoy some slumber.
great idea though! I plan to wear a tightly fitted button up flannel with a long sleeve nursing shirt under it
I hope thatās accurate!
if sheās already sleeping when we head to bed we lay her in her side car bassinet. But once she wakes to feed sheās in bed with us the rest of the night. However our mattress isnāt on the floor and I do use a blanket on my legs