OAD by choice - when did you/your S.O. get a vasectomy?

[jenny777]

My husband and I are 99.99% sure that we would like to be OAD with our 3 month old daughter. I had an extremely painful pregnancy (had to use a wheelchair for anything more than 5 minutes of walking at the end) and a little bit of a traumatic birth. Despite having an IUD, I am horrified at the thought of getting pregnant again. I think it would break my body.

Even before the difficult pregnancy/birth we were highly considering OAD. It just fits with our lifestyle and I love the idea of not having to split our attention away from our daughter and being able to provide more (vacations, hobbies, time, etc.). We do feel complete.

So when did you bite the bullet and get a vasectomy? I’m scared of that 0.01% chance we would want another but it’s just so small and my fear of another pregnancy is significantly higher than that right now.

 

[arl127]

@jenny777 We were always OAD. We had one more conversation after our son was born.

“You sure?”
“Absolutely. You?”
Absolutely.”

I think my c-section scars were healed

Our son is an adult. He’s 28. We have never regretted our decision.

 

[katrina2017]

@jenny777 I had a son from a previous relationship, and told my husband when we first started dating that I didn’t want more children and discussed his feelings on it (he agreed). He got the vasectomy after we were engaged. Happily married and don’t regret our decision for a second!

 

[picko13149]

@jenny777 We were very convinced we'd be OAD during the first year (all three of us disliked our son as a baby). Once he became a toddler, he was so much happier and we were too! We went back and forth on a second for a while, but only recently decided to make this permanent now that he's 2.5.

 

[brooke127]

@picko13149 I had a healthy but miserable pregnancy. Both my husband and I did not have fun during the newborn stage up till about 9ish months.... She is 13 months now and is a giggly ball of energy and the light of our life. I love this stage so much and can't wait for the talking and walking and continuous learning.

All this to say we were almost certainly OAD until recently. Now we have decided to reevaluate when she is 2. No idea what we will decide yet! But I'm happy with where we are at.

 

[dambrosiojuan]

@jenny777 We had our baby in the spring of 2023 and my husband got his vasectomy in August 2023. We are older first time parents and we decided while I was pregnant that we were OAD. I had gestational diabetes and am over 35 so the constant monitoring was just not it for me.

 

[fisherlady]

@jenny777 Our son was 8 months old when my husband got his vasectomy! People thought we were out of our minds making the decision “so soon.” I think people still think we’re going to regret it. Its annoying

Our son is turning 3 this summer and my husband’s vasectomy has been the best decision for us! Absolutely zero regrets. We love life with an only child it’s amazing !!

 

[esti]

@jenny777 I have known my entire life I only wanted one. My husband got his vasectomy a month after I gave birth.

 

[rhid1985]

@jenny777 Ive been OAD as long as I can remember, long before having my son. Husband would have had more if I wasnt OAD but we both came to the mutual agreement we are happy as 3.

He had his vasectomy when my son was just over 3 years old. (Only a couple of months ago) So we're just in the waiting phase at the moment!

 

[bee_brian]

@jenny777 we aren't considering it ONLY b/c I have endometriosis and will need to be on IUD for a long time (I'm 44, and probably will have it until menopause). It manages my symptoms and makes life bearable. No point in H getting a vasectomy. However, if this wasn't the case, we'd probably have one around this point. Our only is 13

 

[discombobulated1]

@bee_brian Your IUD helps your endo? I have stage IV endometriosis but I’m terrified of the cramping and pain an IUD insertion and transition may cause (I already have chainsaw-like monthly menstrual cramps since I was 10). I hear from some endo sisters the Mirena IUD has helped them, but from others that an IUD has made their symptoms worse.

 

[discombobulated1]

(I also would be thrilled and ok with it, if we ever naturally spontaneously conceived; had to do 3 IVFs and losses to have our daughter)

 

[bee_brian]

@discombobulated1 I'm so sorry for your losses.

Yes, I'm very very lucky that my IUD helps my endo. I get one day of annoying cramps that I manage with Midol and keeping the cat on my lap for vibrating warmth LOL. I have little to no flow.

I also have stage IV, mainly around my bowel, bladder, tubes, and ovaries. One lap and some Lupron (aka the fucking DEVIL) in 2009, conceived our one and done in early 2010.

I'm making an appointment for a Mirena replacement this summer b/c it's been almost 7 years and my cramps/flow are getting a bit heavier. OB said that's to be expected at this time and it's perfectly fine to get a new one. She also said she will give me pain meds, thankfully

 

[slowmarathoner]

@jenny777 He got it done when our kiddos was 6 months old.

 

[helpofjesus]

@jenny777 By one year we’re reevaluating, they say not to make big decisions in the first year as everything is still fresh, new, scary, exciting, hormonal etc.

 

[ebob8b]

@jenny777 I wanted him to do it right after I gave birth. He told me we should wait a year in case we changed our minds. We scheduled it immediately after my sons first birthday

 

[scientartist]

@jenny777 My husband got his just after our girl’s third birthday, but we’ve been sure of OAD since her birth basically! I just knew I didn’t want to do the newborn phase again.

 

[dpfocanil]

@jenny777 My husband dragged his feet a bit but had the process started (referrals and such) when my LO was 3.5. He had the procedure scheduled and everything. Then I changed jobs and insurance just before he was supposed to go (LO was 4). Getting established with the new practice and referrals has taken until now, a year later. But he’s going in 2 weeks and the snip will be after that.

I’m slightly less pressed because I’m on hormonal birth control to keep my PMDD in check. But I REALLY want the backup of the V even if I never go off the pill. Debating also having a bisalp to really make things permanent.

 

[amaui]

@dpfocanil Sorry this is a bit out of topic but is birth control working for your PMDD? I just got diagnosed, started suffering it since I gave birth to my daughter 15 months ago and I am looking at ways to manage it!

 

[dpfocanil]

@amaui I’ve been on the pill since I was 17 for it and probably should have been on it earlier. I’m 38 now. Keeping my hormones stable and steady keeps my symptoms at bay. I’m on a combo pill and do usually allow my placebo week, which means I get a tiny bit emotional and have a little bit of insomnia. But otherwise, no insomnia, headaches, mood swings, vomiting, diarrhea, cramping, heavy bleeding, back and hip pain….

This is the third pill I’ve used. The first one left me nauseous and with migraines, so I was only on that for a few months. The second worked until that late 20s hormone shift. I’ve now been on this third one since then, so 10 years or so, other than a few months to get pregnant and a few weeks postpartum to regulate my breast milk supply.