@davidpark I agree with those who are saying she’s right; however, it is worth considering that the experience will vary massively based on the kid’s temperament, habits and health.
My daughter slept well from the off; a “bad night” was her waking 3 times for a nappy change and then breastfeeding right back to sleep. During the days, she was generally pretty happy and only really cried if she wanted a feed or had filled her nappy. She’s three now and whilst we’re having the odd little tantrum that you’d expect from a little growing mind, she’s still like 98% fun to be around and 2% stressful.
My son is sixth months old; similar temperament although slightly quicker to become upset. He also feeds a LOT more often which means some nights my wife is up 6 or 7 times feeding him. As he’s breastfed, there’s not much I can do to help with feeds and although I’ve told my wife to wake me (I’m a deep sleeper, not usually woken by crying) and I’ll do the nappy change, she generally says “no, I’ll be awake to feed anyway, no point both of us losing sleep.” If you find yourself in the same situation as me in this respect, I would point out that it’s incumbent on you to try and do
more than your fair share of the parenting during the day if you’ve had a good night’s sleep and your wife hasn’t.
BUT: I have friends whose kids have had some of the following issues, which have had them doing the whole process on hard mode from the start:
- Baby will only sleep when held, requiring parents to sleep in shifts so someone can hold the baby.
- Baby has medical issue that requires hospital visits. Some minor but still stressful. (We actually spent a night in hospital when my son got jaundice). One friend’s baby had a heart defect which - thankfully - one year in has been fixed, but which required weeks in hospital for tests, monitoring and operations.
- Baby has allergies which require gloved hands to prevent them scratching inflammation, application of creams regularly, and careful storage of foodstuffs that may trigger allergies if nearby.
- Some friends have intended to breastfeed but run into huge difficulties in getting the baby to latch and this has then been stressful and in some cases resulted in giving up and having to solely bottle feed (which is more convenient in that both parents can do it, but less so when you consider all the sterilising of bottles and maybe breast pumps that goes with it).
This is all to say, you won’t know how difficult it will be until you know what your baby is like (in all sorts of ways). I think - on balance - your wife is right to be optimistic. The health-specific issues I’ve listed are generally not that common, and with regard to sleep/feeding issues; as long as you’ve got an adaptive, “can-do” attitude to any potential obstacles, you’ll be fine.
