@dorcas01 Same here. Dad of two. Oldest 2.5. I think what's different at this point is that you get so much back in terms of love, connection and affection from them that it's like a reward for all the worrying. When I was in predaddit life there wasn't much I got back from the bump so it just felt like 100% anxiety.
@allenard77 You care, it won't go away.
It's the burden of giving a shit lol. Keep doing what you're doing, op. Your wife needs you to care about this with her anyway.
@allenard77 Why I was anxious changed throughout, but general anxiety levels for me dropped to more-or-less normal around when the kid was 4 months old.
@allenard77 Wow, your story sounds just like my wife and I, we also had 9 mature embryos, except our successful transfer was our third. I felt less anxious after the end of the first trimester, but it hasn’t fully gone away. We are at 19 weeks today, and so far so good. My best advice is to remember there is only so much that’s in your power to control, try to fully immerse yourself in the experience and focus on the joy of it all
@allenard77 After 12 weeks, you feel a bit more relaxed. After the 20 week scan, even more. Once the baby hits viability, even less anxiety. But there's always been a hint of anxiety...what if baby has cord wrapped around the neck at birth? Etc. Once they're a newborn, it's fear of SIDS. Now with a 15-month-old, I finally feel like she's a little more durable but the anxiety is still there when driving on a busy highway with her in the backseat, etc.
@allenard77 Anxiety specifically about miscarriage does decrease with time. Not sure if you tested your embryos but that may be able to offer some reassurances too. At 7 weeks according to datayze you have less than a 9% chance of miscarrying at this point. Every single day that number will continue to drop.
We did IVF with successful first transfer and I distinctly remember breathing easier at 10 weeks when the chance of miscarriage is at or less than 2.5%
Easier said then done— but try to focus on the joy of the pregnancy.
Congratulations. Good luck!
@passion4word We didn’t do PGT testing because our IVF doctor recommended against it. It’s the source of some of my worries. I’ve been googling at what point chromosomal abnormalities cause miscarriage and if we are past that point. From what I read, the vast majority are very early miscarriages, but who knows. We have the 8 week heartbeat ultrasound this upcoming Monday.
@allenard77 Definitely understand not testing. Not a doctor but from memory the first 6 weeks are the most crucial for chromosomal though a measure until 10-12 weeks. We never used one but some people swear by the home dopplers at as early as 9 weeks. I think it would have freaked us out more honestly as in the beginning you often can’t hear the heartbeat on the home dopplers.
@allenard77 I think 10-12 weeks the risk shoots way down.
It won't go away you'll just find new worries. Mine was the baby being breech. We ended up scheduling a c section and found he umbilical cord around her neck. Good call on the c section.
@allenard77 Congratulations man! Tbh man for me the anxiety during the early stages was nothing compared to the morning my daughter was born just absolutely wild lol. This sub really helped me during the whole process. Reading everyone’s accounts and knowing that I wasn’t the one feeling certain emotions was really helpful. Hang in there man you got this!
@allenard77 I hate to sound pretty much like everyone else. My wife is 31 weeks & I still get nervous when there are periods that my little guy isn’t moving as much. Or when we are at an appointment there is just anxiety until I hear his heartbeat & our doctor says all is well.
Personally, I hope I am more at ease once he & my wife are recovering from labor, but as the others have mentioned there is always going to be another level of worry.
My suggestion is to just take deep breaths & think about how happy you’ll when your little person is here. Best of luck to you & congratulations!
@allenard77 You won’t stop. During the birth you’ll worry that something will go wrong. After your child is born into the world, you’ll worry about a 100 things too!
@allenard77 lol my wife is 19 weeks pregnant and we just did our anatomy scan and everything was fine and I’m STILL anxious. That’s the reality of things. It means you love your wife and your baby. Being an anxious first time dad is normal!
